Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

WhatEVER Wednesday

I've got nothing to say today, but by God I'm going to say it! I reserve the right to add random bits of nothingness as the day proceeds. So there.

You know you are doing something right as a parent when your 2-year-old yells "I wanna rock!!" on a regular basis. Go Girl! That's how she asks for Schoolhouse Rock, but hey, it's a start. She makes me dance with her, so that's fun. Maybe she'll learn something too - you never know! Btw - did you guys know that Stephen Rader was in Schoolhouse Rock (the Musical)? How cool is that?
Monday evening:

Spousehole: (looking around at house, which hasn't changed much since he was home for lunch) So . . . what exactly did you do today?
Me: Laid around moaning about how cruddy I feel.
Spousehole: That's it?
Me: Yeah, that pretty much covers it.
(okay, so that's a total lie: I washed, dressed, played with, read to, and admonished the 2-yr-old; did a load of laundry; did 2 loads of dishes - amazing how they piled up on Sunday when I really truly did nothing but lay in bed moaning; read the Sunday paper - it won't read itself, you know; fed the cats; ate two pieces of toast; and other assorted household junk, in addition to laying around and moaning about how cruddy I feel; but I wasn't going to explain myself to him. Go me!(?))
My two-year-old came up to me with her hands out, grabbed and squeezed both my breasts saying "Honk!! Honk!!" Where in the world did she learn something like that? Her Daddy doesn't do that kind of thing. What did he let her watch on television Sunday while I was out of commission?
My husband wants me to play Halo with him. Uh huh. Right. It's like a heroin addict saying "Just have a little smack with me, baby. It'll bond us." He says "If you just enjoyed what I enjoy . . . ." Maybe he should try what I enjoy; what he used to enjoy. Or maybe he should just go hang with his asexual brethren.
Speaking of addiction, that's what I am starting to feel I have. You ever want something, like something to which you're addicted, and you feel yourself slipping toward it, even though you know you shouldn't? You don't want to, because you know once you go that way you can never go back, but it's almost as though you can't help yourself? That's how I'm feeling. Like if I don't have some human sexual contact soon, I'm going to end up falling further and further down until I do something crazy, like meeting up with someone I barely know - danger be damned. I really do feel like I might spiral out of control at any time. The abyss beckons once again.

It's not just being horny, per se. I mean, if I want an orgasm I can do that myself. It's the connection with another human being that I need. Those tactile sensations that we all described so wonderfully in yesterday's TMI. The satisfaction and ego boost that comes from pleasing and being pleased. God, I hate being so needy! It's not attractive at any level.

Any volunteers, before I end up with some total stranger from AFF or something? (Yes, I put up a new profile on there. I'm serious about this desperation thing.)
My in-laws were just here. They dropped off some pants my MIL took in for my son (I know - I'm a total lame-ass mother, having my MIL do that. I could - I own a nice sewing machine - but I'm lazy and bad at it to boot.)

They also dropped off a bunch of food. No, we're not so poor that we need charity. They are headed to Florida until Thanksgiving, so they cleaned out their fridge and brought us all the stuff they couldn't bear to throw away. Veggies, half a carton of milk, stuff like that. But this time there's also hummus and pickled red cabbage. You just never know what the in-laws are going to drop off on their way south.


Sue said...

Yeah, that damn need to be close to someone. I know that. I don't think I could ever do AFF though. That place scares me.

Ooh, I have an AFF story though. Not mine, but someone I know from chatting. Her and her hubby went of AFF to find a third party to add to their bedroom fun. They found some chick from Wisconsin. They paid for her trip up to see them, the hotel, everything.

After the fun was over, said chick reported that the hubby raped her while the person I know watched. It never got to court, but scared the living shit out of both of them.

Trueself said...

I've never been successful with anyone from AFF. I tend to use CraigsList. That's where I found K, the current FWB.

I would totally volunteer for you if you went that way and were close enough to meet. Because I'm feeling the same way even though it's only been a week, but K won't be available for another two weeks. Mmm touch, mmm sensations, mmm. Oh, excuse me, zoned out there for a minute. . . Had a totally wicked thought about you, me and a certain someone. Aack, no, back to work, back to work, sorry.


Joy, shared said...

I think that 'need' for personal contact is probably the hardest to control.

But, I'll side with the two ladies here who said that AFF probably isn't the way to go. I posted a profile there a long, long time before I was married, and I only had scary experiences with it.

And, if it helps, I would offer to volunteer to be your 'personal contact' because I yearning for some, too, but I don't think my wife would approve.

Lady in red said...

I have been on AFF I think I still am but not been there for a while. For me it was good.....I needed that personal connection it also helped with my confidence. I guess I was lucky I only had good experiences.

as for feeling needy go read this post. by my friend prada pixie

George said...

Ahhhh ... Bunny ... if I wasn't such a church goer I would volunteer ... I lied ... I never go to church except for weddings, funerals and baptisms ... I gladly throw my hat into the ring ... or maybe my dick into ...wherever.

Honk Honk ... where do they come up with stuff like that?

When my son was about 3 he was in the bathroom with me and I had to pee. Being boys, I pulled the member out and started the flow. My son, who was behind me looks around my body sees what I am doing and says ... dad, you have a hose ... yep, I felt pretty damn proud of myself ... a hose.

Honk honk, Bunny


Renee said...

Glad you didn't feel the need to validate what you did Monday by listing everything to SH. You should have asked him what he did besides bellyache and be condescending. GAH!

I've had a kid or two 'honk' my breasts too. But they do get it from their Dad. He's a breast man and most times we can't pass each other without him copping a feel.

I'll volunteer to be a 'friend' too. Maybe we should all just show up at your house for a groupsex type thing. SH would just LURVE that!

If you're a lame-ass, so am I. I've got a working sewing machine too, but I send anything that needs mending/taken in/taken out/etc to my MIL. She bought me the damn thing thinking I'd learn
to do these things myself. No. Not happening.

SoCal Sal said...

Would love to volunteer!

Joe Flirt said...

I so could have written parts of this post (and have to a certain degree, just not all at once), it is just plain scary.

Stephen Rader said...

You are the best!! Yep, I was in SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK LIVE! Six shows a week for 11 months. I've sang "Three" and "I'm Just a Bill" more times than I thought was humanly possible.