Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sexy Veggies

NBC has refused to air a PETA advertisement during the SuperBowl, saying that it is too racy for their standards. What do you think? Is it too sexy for broadcast television?:

'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

I'm not a vegetarian and I don't really care one way or the other about PETA, but I think there have been sexier ads on television. But if NBC doesn't want PETA's money, that's their problem. Besides, PETA is getting more out of the "controversy" than if it had actually aired on television.

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

TMI Tuesday

1. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?

Madagascar 2, on Thanksgiving Day. I don't get out much :)

2. What is your favorite movie theater snack?

My ever-present Diet Coke and air-popped popcorn with real butter. No theatres down here in S.C. have this option (both air-popped and real butter) and the one theatre that I know that did in Michigan closed after I left. I guess they just couldn't see going on without me. I don't know why more theatres don't have the real butter option. It cost $.50 or $.75 extra, depending on the theatre, in Michigan and that was very reasonable to me.

3. Have you ever snuck in 'outside' food into a theater?

Only all the time! I sometimes sneak Diet Coke into Pepsi-affiliated theatres, I sometimes bring cookies or candy or other snack foods into a theatre, and occasionally I do something crazy and bring healthy snacks (sliced fruit, carrot/celery sticks) into a theatre. I try to be very unobtrusive about my forbidden snacking.

4. Have you ever made out in a theater?

Yes, but it has been a very, very, very long time.

5. What is the 'farthest' you have gone in a theater?

Other than the drive-in . . . handjob - on him, not me. I've never climaxed in a movie theatre. Want to help me change that?

Bonus (as in optional): What is one of your favorite movie sex scene?
The Big Easy - Ellen Barkin, Dennis Quaid, 1987. The stars have amazing chemistry, you can almost feel the heat radiating from the screen. It's amazingly sexy and even more amazing - they don't even have their clothes off for the sexiest scene!! When she sighs "Stop that" and he replies "Stop what? That?" OMG - that about sends me over the edge right there. All you see are their faces, but it's just wowza sexy to me.

Obama pictures and McCain pictures

Obama pictures and McCain pictures

Obama pictures and McCain pictures

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

TMI Tuesday

Click the icon to come play with us!!

1. Have you ever dated/married purely for money?

I definitely didn't marry for money! I think I did date a couple guys for their money/car, but I had to find them at least tolerable to go out more than once or twice.

2. What is your type?

Arial or Helvetica, mostly.

3. What is the best sex game you have ever played?

The one where one partner kisses, sucks, explores the other's body and the receiving partner tries not to react or reciprocate at all. It never lasts terribly long.

4. Have you ever given or received an orgasm from a person whose last name you did not know?

Yep. Though I learned it eventually.

5. Have you ever masturbated in front of a sexual partner?

Yep. That's one thing that really gets Spousehole going and is a staple in our (annual) sexual repertoire.

Bonus (as in optional):At what age do you think men and women reach their sexual peak? Do you think you have hit yours yet?

Guys do in their twenties, I think. That seems to be when they are very horny, but less so than in their teens; but they've developed some skills and the ability to make it last, much more so than in their teens.

I don't know about all women, but for me it was probably my late twenties or early thirties. I finally lost most inhibitions, was horny all the time, and didn't hesitate to act on it.


I survived two nights of the long weekend with my in-laws here! Woo hoo! I'm on edge when they stay over because I know my housekeeping is not up to their standards. I'm also on edge because Spousehole is MAJORLY on edge whenever his parents are around. I understand that. They have a way of making us feel inferior or that everything we do is a disappointment to them. Even when they try to be nice, it ends up coming out like a criticism.

I still have one more day of the long weekend to get through. The powers that be at Boy's school determined that having Monday off for MLKjr day wasn't enough, they'd give the kids Tuesday off as well. So Boy is home for the 4th straight day. Spousehole had Monday off too, so we went out and did fun stuff with the kids and their grandparents, but today I am alone with my darling children. Pray for me to not kill them or myself. Thanks.

Obama pictures and McCain pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Friday, January 16, 2009

Super Bowl refuses ad for extramarital hook-ups

Apparently those paragons of virtue at the Super Bowl have refused an advertisement from Ashley Madison, a website that assists married folks with hooking up with other married folks (and not the ones to whom they are married). You mean the NFL has standards?

read more: What could possibly be too racy for the Super Bowl? A Website for cheaters

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I got nuthin'

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

Oprah Winfrey
more lol celebs!

Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

TMI Tuesday

Come play with us!

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your sex life?

Hard to answer, since I don't seem to have one these days.

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?

Oh yeah, bring it on!
Gets my panties damp every time.

3. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done or said to you?

My college boyfriend took me for a drive and a picnic lunch a long, long time ago. We went to a lighthouse out on the Jersey shore. It was romantic and sweet and wonderful.

4. Where is the most unusual place you have ever had sex?

Idunno. Golf course, maybe. College boyfriend again.

5. How do you liked to be kissed?

At first gently, almost hesitantly; then growing more urgent, lips parting, tongues exploring. Pulling back, making each other want more and more. Perhaps he'll suck on my lower lip, perhaps I his. Bodies barely touching, then moving together, pressing harder until we can feel the heat between us. It has to be a back and forth thing, not overwhelming, not just one person kissing the other. Mutual, full of anticipation and promise of more to come.

Bonus (as in optional):Most embarrassing sexual moment?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away . . .
This occurred before we had kids, back when Spousehole and I partook of the hot monkey love on a regular (some might say, obsessive) basis. We were going at it, hot and heavy, when I attained the pinnacle of sexual pleasure (orgasm, okay?) Right in the middle of it, with Spousehole pounding away at me, I passed gas. Loudly. Not smelly or anything, but not something one could really ignore either. It sounded like the air brakes on a school bus - pshoooo. Spousehole laughed his ass off and it was several minutes before he could resume and finish because he was laughing too hard.

Bonus embarrassing thing - I 've told this before, but here it is again:
When we had been married about 8 months, my husband and I had spent a long weekend at my parents' house. There was never really any privacy there, so we were anxious to get busy when we got home. Undressing as we went up the stairs, kissing hungrily, hands everywhere - you get the idea. The sex was athletic, acrobatic, and, ultimately, dangerous. I moved forward as he moved in to kiss me and WHAM! My forehead, his nose. Blood everywhere, nose crooked. We ended up spending the next few hours in the emergency room. It was broken, but good. Every nurse, doctor, or aide started off by asking, "How did this happen?" By the end of the night we thought it was pretty funny. He still likes to tell people how I broke his nose. Including my parents and our pastor.

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Monday, January 12, 2009

Mute Monday - XY or Z is for . . .

Zip line at the zoo

Zipper at the county fair

The zipper pull my son wears
(for this and other Autism Awareness items go to

(no zipper at all!)

What is this Mute Monday thang? Click the button below to check it out!!

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Friday, January 9, 2009

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The numbers

Months since moving to South Carolina: 4

In that time:

Months without internet: 1.5

Number of animals nursed back to health: 1 (Boy dropped his classroom guinea pig and broke his top front teeth off. I am caring for him, including hand feeding, until the teeth grow back. Which they are, fairly quickly too).

Months paying for two houses, one empty: 4+

Amount spent on car repairs: $1200 (approx.)

Amount spent on motorcycle repairs: $1200 (approx.)

Amount spent on things for me and only me: $0 (No manicures, no pedicures, not even a haircut)

Number of recent fellow refugees from Michigan I've met just on my block in my subdivision: 4

Number of active duty or recently retired military people I've met in my sub: Um, where's my calculator? Yeah, it's that many.

Number of friends I've made (more than acquaintances): 0. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

Number of churches we've attended: 4

Number of churches that feel just right: 0. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

Number of times I've watched Kung Fu Panda: Again, where is that calculator? (That's just today)

Number of times Boy has ridden the school bus since beginning of November: 1 (I have driven him every morning and every afternoon otherwise)

Level of my frustration and loneliness (on a scale of 1-10): 13 and mounting

Number of months since I had sex with my husband: 5 and counting (it was late July the last time)

And now I'm going to go pick up my son from school. Again.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

TMI Tuesday (it is still Tuesday, isn't it?)

Click the icon to come play with us!

1. Would you rather be stranded on an island alone or with someone you dislike/don't get along with?

I would rather be with someone I don't like or don't get along with, so at least I would have someone to argue with other than myself.

2. Would you rather accidentally walk in on your parents having sex or have them walk in on you?

I would much rather they walk in on me. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

3. Would you rather be snapped by paparazzi during a nipple slip or while exiting a car with out any underwear? (guys, consider similar circumstances)

Nipple slip. Much more socially acceptable, I think. I'd rather folks see my nipples than my whatzahoozit any day. They're pretty much always ready for show, where other areas might not always be "camera-ready."

4. Would you rather not have sex for two years or not be able to use the Internet for two years?

I would rather go without sex for two years - been there, done that, know I can handle it (not well, but I can handle it). Since I first got online back in the dark ages (1991 or so) I have never had to go terribly long without it and don't think I could handle it. (I figure if my only addictions are the internet and Diet Coke, I'm doing okay.)

5. Would you rather find true love or 1 million dollars?

A million dollars. Love fades, conservatively invested money will stand by you.

Bonus (as in optional): If you had to choose *one* sexual position for the rest of your life, what would it be? Why?

Doggie-style. Depth of penetration, G-spot contact, easy access to certain female parts that like to be touched, he can kiss the back of my neck or cup my breasts . . . what's not to love?

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Monday, January 5, 2009

Mute Monday - W

W is for Winter

In Michigan:

In South Carolina:

(Pretty much the same as other times of year, except for the dormant grass)

(This was the big "snowstorm" of 2003. Note the cadets in their warmest coats.)

Not so mute addition:
While I do love the prettiness of a fresh snowfall and the beautiful trees after an ice storm, I don't miss cold temperatures, treacherous driving, and power outages. We experienced all of that in our brief trip "home" to Michigan for Christmas. Icy roads prevented our making it to my parents' house on Christmas Eve as planned, so we spent that night and most of Christmas morning in a hotel (but at least we got a hot breakfast - got to love Comfort Inn breakfasts except at Lexington Ky, which does not have make-your-own-waffles. In fact, the CI we stayed at in Michigan even had a hot pasta bar when we checked in at 9:30 at night. Above and beyond, that's for sure)

The kids loved playing the snow at my parents' house. Since they are a mile inland from Lake Michigan and right on a smaller lake that connects to Lake Michigan), they had A LOT of lake effect snow. We brought all our snow gear, plus my sister had a bunch of stuff her son had outgrown, so the kids got their now-annual snow play in without getting too cold and wet.

Then we went north to my in-laws' place. Thanks to an overnight ice storm, we woke up Sunday morning to a cold, electricity-free house. Being in the boonies, they have well water, which means you need the electricity to run the pump. The boys (Spousehole, FIL, and BIL) tried in vain to get the generator going, but it was no use. Just when they finally figured out the problem, the electricity came back on. Lesson learned: just buying the generator, having the electrician install the hook-up so you can power the whole house, and then letting it sit for two years is not enough. Fire it up once or twice before you actually need it to make sure you know wth you are doing! And that you have the little lever that shifts it from tortoise to hare (slow to fast). (BIL has his own generator and knew what to do if only they could locate the lever, but FIL-the-engineer didn't want to listen to BIL-the-graphic-artist/photographer, because really - what could an artist actually know about a mechanical item?)

Considering how my parents had told us about the pounding they were getting from snow, snow, and more snow, we were surprised to not even see snow on our trip north until we hit mid-Michigan. But by the time we reached the Lake Michigan coast, there were feet of it. FEET.

All-in-all, we were not sorry to return to the weather that passes for "winter" in the south. It's 75 degrees and sunny today. No, we don't miss winter all that much. I think I could survive quite nicely if I never lift a snow shovel or operate a snow blower again. (One of my southern born-and-raised neighbors actually thought a snow blower was like a leaf blower - lol!)

Friday, January 2, 2009

Working My Way Back

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

Will Ferrell
more lol celebs!

Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy