Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Bible Quiz

Stole this one from Uncle Polt:

You know the Bible 96%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Actually, I'm a little pissed that I got one wrong. They were very easy questions. WTF? I bet Mr. Troll gets them all correct.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

TMI Tuesday

Come play with us!

1. Early bird or night owl?

Used to be a night owl, now an early bird but not so much by choice.

2. Where was the first place you ever had sex?

J's house, in his little brother's bed, with M.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)

7, things are pretty good right now.

4. Are you more submissive or dominant?

I'm a switch, but if left to my own devices dominant comes shining through. I WANT to submit, however.

5. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No. I believe in lust at first sight, a definite connection. But love comes from knowing someone well and accepting them for who they are, not who you think they are.

Bonus (as in optional): Describe your bed time habits. What side do you sleep on? What do you usual wear? Any night time rituals?

I sleep wherever there is room - between kids and cats that is often a narrow, narrow space. Before kids, I slept in just panties or nude, but since kids I feel the need to be a little more modest most of the time and I wear pajamas or a t-shirt. The only bed time ritual I have is to take my crazy pills and my cholesterol pill (down to 153!! Triglycerides down to 177!!) and brush my teeth.

Monday, April 28, 2008

He's Gone, But I'm Still Here

Spousehole left this morning for South Carolina. We loaded up the old minivan with all his stuff (including his motorcycle - no easy feat, that one) and off he went. Things have been really good lately, so I will actually miss him. Not to mention that even when things weren't good, at least there were two of us vs. the kids. Now I'm on my own with the little monsters. That's going to be the hardest part.

He's been affectionate and considerate lately. Loving even. Hugging and kissing me for no reason, wanting to spend time with me. Weird. But nice. We even snuggled together in bed this morning. No sex, of course, but it was human contact nonetheless.

Sorry no Mute Monday today. Too many things going on to have it ready this morning. I'll be back in the game next week. And I'm looking forward to Mr. Troll's new one, Under-/Overrated Fridays. Learn more here.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

One Year

Today, April 27, is the one-year anniversary of this blog.

One year of whining, bitching, moaning, and generally sharing the tedium of my life.

Less than a year of half-nekkid pictures.

One year of my sex life, or, more often, lack thereof.

I've met some wonderful people because of this blog. "Met" virtually and in real life. People I've come to care for a great deal. Beautiful people, inside and out. You've all supported me and comforted me and just been there when I needed a laugh. I started this blog just for me, as an outlet for my angst and fantasies and truths I felt uncomfortable sharing elsewhere. But it's become more than that. It's my connection to so many wonderful people.

I thank God for the friends I've made through this blog.

I thank God for you.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Follow-Up Friday

I hangz on and Frydayz here!!!!
see more crazy cat pics

Remember I told you my son's child psychiatrist was arrested for child sexual abuse? Apparently he has confessed to over 50 first and second degree sexual contacts with a female relative over a 2 year period. At least his confession will likely spare the victim having to testify. That's the only thing he did right, that I am aware of. Idiot. I wonder if he'll even get prison time. A former co-worker of Spousehole was sleeping with his 14-year-old stepdaughter (who he had raised since she was in elementary school and she has his last name, so she was his daughter every way but biologically) and was charged with first degree criminal sexual conduct - a capital offense (Michigan doesn't have the death penalty, so a capital offense means life w/o parole is the maximum potential sentence.) He pled to second-degree and got 5 years probation. No jail time at all. That's just wrong to me.

We are moving to South Carolina. You didn't know it, but that was up in the air again this past week. After accepting the job there without discussing it with me, Spousehole all of a sudden this week starts doubting his decision (can you say "impulsive?"). He starts backtracking and looking at options for staying here, claiming that he likes where things are going with his current job and wants to be a part of it, that he doesn't want to disrupt Boy's schooling, that he doesn't want to move away from our families, he's not confident in his ability to do the new job well, and on and on and on. He woke me up at 5:30 in morning a couple mornings this week to discuss this (at least he talked to me about it and didn't make another unilateral decision). In as supportive a way as possible, I told him that he can't be this indecisive and he made a commitment to his new employer. If he backs out now, he looks like an idiot. Besides, they've already hired someone to replace him here. After much up and down and even talking with another employer about a contract position here, Spousehole has decided to honor his commitment and follow through with the move to South Carolina. I hate this sort of drama. Just make a decision and follow it through. That's called being an adult.

I am still sick. This is ridiculous. My lungs are not functioning well at all right now. You don't want the details, trust me. Suffice it to say that it's unpleasant. I probably haven't made it any easier on myself by spending much of the week cleaning out stuff that got wet in the basement. Have I mentioned that mold is my absolute worst allergy? Well, it is. A lot of what I've tossed in the Trailer Trash trailer is boxes and some clothes and things that got wet after the rains a few weeks ago in our leaky, leaky basement. I'm sure I've exposed myself to a ton of mold. If I die, blame the mold.

I wish I had something fun or funny to share, but this is my life right now. Ugh.

For laughs, try Desperately Seeking . . . Something. These girls (and token guy) crack me up.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

HNT - Trashy Edition

I may act all high-falutin', with my fancy-shmancy ejukashun and all, but at heart I'm really just

Trailer Trash!

This is what is sitting in my driveway right now. See, I'm too cheap to rent a real Dumpster, so when I clean all the crap out of the house, I call Trailer Trash. The guy brings me the back end of a totalled pick-em-up truck with a trailer hitch welded onto it and I fill it up with my trash. Whenever I get it filled up, he comes and fetches it and hauls it out to the county incinerator. Costs less than 1/2 what a similar sized Dumpster-brand trash container would. I just have to have this ugly ass thing in my driveway for a while. I'm sure the neighbors are thrilled.

Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os, The King of HNT

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

TMI Tuesday - Better Late Than Never, Right?

Come play with us!

1. Pancakes or waffles? With or without toppings?

Waffles, with real butter and real maple syrup. However, in reality I can't have the real maple syrup so I use SF syrup. Still the real butter though. One can only give up so much.
I make pancakes more because that's what my kids always want. I use fresh blueberries whenever possible. (All our waffles and pancakes in this house are homemade and made with soy milk, because Boy can't have cow or goat or sheep milk. Vanilla soy milk gives them a yummy extra vanilla-y flavor.)

2. They say, "Way to a man's heart is through his stomach." What is the way to your heart?

Make me laugh and treat my kids right.

3. Have you ever gone to a topless/clothing optional beach? If yes, did you participate?

No, I have never been to a topless or clothing optional beach. I have, however, been naked at a beach that was not intended to be a clothing-optional beach. :-)

4. What song reminds you of a previous relationship (for good or bad)?

"You're the Inspiration" by Chicago (stop laughing!) always reminds of my boyfriend from senior year in high school because he would sing this to me. Seriously. A long-haired rocker guy sang me that song and meant it. So I think of him when I hear it.

5. When, where and with who was your best kiss ever?

June 2007, his house, PiC. It may not have been technically the best, but it had been so long since I had been kissed by someone who meant it that it was absolutely fabulous. It left me weak and wanting more (which I also got, thankyouverymuch.)

Bonus (as in optional): Does anyone not currently in a relationship with you have pictures of you or your body part(s) that you would prefer that other people not see?

Monday, April 21, 2008

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Well That Didn't Go As Planned

I should have known by how the day started that not much was going to go right.

I needed some routine blood work done and made my early morning trip to the lab. I hate fasting blood tests. I felt a little warm and out of sorts, but figured it was just the fasting. I'd be fine after they took the blood and I could eat something.

As is the norm with me, my veins dived and rolled and just plain refused to cooperate. As the gal was poking the back of my hand yet again, things started to go a little dark. "I think I'm going down - -" I managed to spit out before I lost consciousness. When I came to every phlebotomist in the place was around me, holding cold packs on my neck and forehead and keeping me off the floor.

Before I could start apologizing for being such a lame-ass, I started vomiting. They got the wastebasket in front of me and I puked up all the water in my stomach. There was nothing but water, of course, since I had been fasting. A quick test of my blood sugar showed it was at 38. That's really f-ing low, for those not familiar with blood glucose monitoring. They gave me some glucose and I perked up after a few minutes. When I felt better, I got up to go to the bathroom to provide the urine sample they needed. Except that when I lost consciousness, I apparently also lost bladder control. OMG - I had wet my pants. Do you have any idea how humiliated I was? They tried to tell me that it happens, it's no big deal, blah blah blah. I just wanted to die. I mean, I faint fairly easily, but I haven't wet my pants before. The only time I can recall that I lost consciousness and wet myself was when I had a seizure and I accept that that's pretty common when you have a seizure. I didn't seize this time, I just fainted. I was mortified.

I thought the day really had to go up from there. Really, what could be worse?

Early afternoon, Spousehole and I dropped the kids with my parents so we could go out and celebrate our anniversary. Our anniversary isn't until May 1, but he will be in South Carolina starting his new job then.

We went to a movie, Forbidden Kingdom. It was a cute, fluffy kung-fu type movie with Jackie Chan and Jet-Li. Not great cinema by any stretch of the imagination, but a cute distraction on a Saturday afternoon. Except for that woman coughing and hacking through the whole. damn. movie. Bitch should have taken some cough medicine or something.

We went to a chain Italian-ish place for dinner. The food was okay, but the meal kept being disrupted by a woman coughing and hacking. That bitch was determined to ruin my night. At one point in the meal, Spousehole reached across the table and stroked my cheek and my forehead and said, "You're burning up honey." "No, I'm fine, really. I'll be okay," I protested lamely.

We went to a park to sit quietly together and look out over Lake Michigan. He snuggled me in the way-back seat in the minivan and we enjoyed watching teenagers all dressed up for prom taking pictures with the lake in the background. It was sweet. Until I fell asleep. At 7:30, in the backseat of the Mommyvan. The Queen of Romance, that's me.

He woke me up and we split a sorbet at Ben & Jerry's. I felt better after the cool, refreshing sorbet. Then we went to retrieve our kids. My mom: "It's not even 70 out. Why are you sweating?" "I'm fine Mom." "No you're not." She gets the thermometer - 102.4 degrees. Okay, maybe I'm not.

And I'm not. Not fine, not at all. Temp is still 102 this morning, cough is still awful. And because Mother Nature has a nasty sense of humor, my period started.

I'm going back to bed. See you later, if I survive this.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Did the earth move for you, baby?

As I'm sure you've heard or read (or experienced) the midwest experienced an earthquake early this morning. We are 400 miles from the epicenter, but Spousehole claims to have felt something. He said the headboard of the bed was rattling (it is especially prone to rattling). I didn't notice a thing.

I hope any and all of my friends and readers here in midwest came through the quake unscathed and property intact.

Did the earth move for you? Tell me about it.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Sorry, I'm not playing HNT today

I'm just crazy busy, I'll try to get around and comment though. What's keeping me busy? Sorting everything we own into:
Garage Sale (or Craigslist or Ebay)

No easy task. Especially for a certifiable pack rat like me.

Plus the monkeys have been trading a virus back and forth and one or the other is sick at any given time. So sick, they sleep in weird places and situations.

Girl on the living room floor, with her friend sitting on the couch
wondering who he's going to play with now.

Boy in the recliner, head down, bum up. About 7:00 p.m. last night.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Isabella's Sex Meme

I was tagged for this meme by the literate and lovely Marcelle Manhattan and the beautiful and sexy Vixen. Go say hello to them!

This is Isabella’s Sex Meme. Anyone is welcome to steal it but you must post this rules blurb at the beginning of the meme:
1. You must include this link to Sex Talk - Sex Advice for Men.
2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.
3. You must tag three people.

1. Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?
Preferably both :-) If I have to choose, I'll take night because I can go to sleep afterward. But mornings can be fun too!

2. Better Sex Music - Sade or Marvin Gaye?
Marvin Gaye, if these are my only two choices. I generally prefer classical for romantic interludes, rock/metal or no music at all for rough, down and dirty encounters.

3. Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Videos?
Of me? Pictures. Otherwise I critique my every move later. For my viewing pleasure? Videos of other people.

4. Fabulous Sex With: Dr Doug Ross or Dr Greg House?
House, no question. I love George Clooney, but Hugh Laurie's character is far more complex, intelligent, and just plain hot. Have I mentioned before that arrogant men can be a turn-on for me?

5. Vibrator or Dildo?
Vibrator. I'm a clitoral stimulation girl.

6. Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?
Lights off or at least low. I know many men disagree with this choice (Hi Ed!)

7. Word Preference: Pussy or Cunt?
Pussy, cunt is too vulgar usually, unless I'm really in the throes of a good fucking.

8. Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?
How about over the knee during sex?

9. More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Aeroplane?
Elevator - more room to move.

10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North?
Peter North is slightly better looking, so I'll go with him. Like Marcelle, however, I prefer penile girth to penile length. Length is not a factor for me, but thick gets me every time.

11. Word Preference? Cock or dick?
Cock, when I'm being positive, dick when I'm being negative.

12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson?
Jenna Jameson, though overall I prefer brunettes to blondes.

13. Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?

14. Give Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?
Do I have to choose? I enjoy both, but I guess I'll take anal sex as it provides something for both of us.

15. Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?
Call girl. I'm far too uncoordinated to dance around a pole in high heels.

16. Which Threesome - Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?
Both sound fabulous, but I'll take boy/boy/me. Perhaps finally fulfill my dp fantasy.

17. Flavoured Oil or Tingling Oil?
Flavoured, if we have to use one or the other, but lube is generally not a problem for me :-)

18. Pearl Necklace or Swallow?
Swallow. I'm not so much into the mess. :) Unless he's going to lick it off . . .

19. Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex With a Stranger?
Strangers watching - hot! Unless they're laughing.

20. Tied to the Bed or to a St Andrew’s Cross?
As Cake and Marcelle said: "'Jeez, Isa, I’m Welsh!' A St. Andrew Cross is simply out of the question." I also am of Welsh heritage, but I'm also lazy. I rather be laying on the bed than tied to a cross. Though I read a really hot story a while back incorporating a St. Andrew's Cross. (Be sure to read all the installments)

Who to tag, who to tag?

I'll go with Rae, Trueself, and Renee!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

TMI - Tax Day Edition

1. Did you have to pay or did you get money back?

Refund, baby!

2. What was your biggest financial mistake?

This year or overall? OMG, there are so many, I don't even know where to start! Borrowing money from my in-laws several years ago was a big mistake. Not so much financially, but it started Spousehole's downward spiral into asshole-dom.

3. Are you a screamer?

On a roller coaster, sometimes. Otherwise, not so much. Vocal, yes; screamer, no.

4. What part of your body, other than your genitals, do you love to have touched? What part of a partner's body, other than their genitals, do you love to touch?

Any part of my skin.

Okay, that's kind of a cop-out I guess. Um, breasts, neck, arms, legs, back, hair.

Any part of his skin. Chest, butt, hair, arms, legs, abdomen, back.

5. What [edit: 12:30] commercial catch phrase best describes your life?

It's finger-lickin' good!
I don't wanna grow up. I'm a Toys R' Us kid
I'm a Pepper, he's a Pepper, she's a Pepper, we're a Pepper, wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?

Bonus (as in optional): What was the last thing you took without permission? What was the last thing taken from you without your permission?

The last thing I took without permission was a cookie from a tray my friend, a caterer, was preparing for a confirmation party. He never even missed it.

Last thing taken from me without permission was my caffeine-free diet Coke, about 5 minutes ago. My children have no concept of boundaries.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Unconscious Mutterings

Unconscious Mutterings, the Free Association meme

  1. Silence :: Golden

  2. Wall :: -E

  3. Killed :: virus

  4. Wishful :: thinking

  5. Poodle :: skirt

  6. Sullen :: teenager

  7. Do not disturb :: Fun!

  8. Philadephia :: Declaration of Independence

  9. Anticipation :: Heinz ketchup

  10. Sidewalk :: chalk

Friday, April 11, 2008

Undies Poll Results and more

So 52 people voted in the undies poll on the right. Wow! That's my best poll numbers yet! Polls about undies must be the blog-equivalent of a Presidential election - brings out all the voters.

Anyway, of those 52 voters, 46% (24) fold their clean undies and place them neatly in their undie drawer. Just slightly fewer, 42% (22) , toss 'em in the drawer without folding. A mere 11% (6) get dressed straight from the laundry basket (or, I suspect, the dryer). I have had times where the clothes never got put away and I just dressed from the dryer or a laundry basket. These days I try to keep up with the laundry better, since there are 4 of us to keep clothed. Plus I don't work in an office where the dry cleaner picks up the dirty clothes from bags in the front closet and brings them back the next day all cleaned and pressed. I miss those days. Sob!

So, apparently readers of this blog are almost evenly divided between OCD neatniks who fold their underwear and normal people who just toss them in the drawer and hope for the best. (It's not at all obvious into which group I fall, is it?) Good to know.

* * * * *

A small tornado passed through a county south of here recently. It kind of zig-zagged, so some houses were spared when neighbors' homes were destroyed. Literally hit-or-miss. No one was injured, thankfully. So one guy says to the local TV station about his vacationing son's home that was spared "The dear Lord was looking out for his home." So what does that say about the neighboring homes that were destroyed? Was the Lord so busy looking after the home of a guy who was on vacation that he didn't think to watch out for the houses with families and children crouching in the basement praying to survive? Does the Lord have something against those other folks? So because vacation boy's house was spared, does that mean God likes him best? I don't get it.

Ceiling Cat? Are you up there?
see more crazy cat pics

Thursday, April 10, 2008


New pictures, but kind of same old-same old anyway. My creative mojo has disappeared lately. Hopefully it will return soon.

The bruise in the click-thru? I have no idea where that came from. Seriously. If you have any ideas, let me know.

Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os at HNT_1

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

WTF Wednesday!

WTF . . .

were my mom and I thinking taking the kids (nephew - 7, Boy - 7, and Girl - 3) to the children's museum during spring break? O. M. G. Never again. Absolute chaos. We lost Girl several times; one time she was missing for 15 minutes before we found her. She's small and very, very fast. It was loud, noisy, and very crowded. Really, what were we thinking?

were we thinking trying to take the kids to lunch at a chain restaurant best known as a breakfast place? It was so smoky (stale and fresh) in the non-smoking section that we couldn't stand it. We had to leave. We should have known better than to even try that place.

was I thinking having my nephew stay with me for a while during spring break? Yes, it was a nice thing to do for my sister who is going to school full-time since her company closed last fall leaving her unemployed. Yes, it is nice for the kids to spend some time together. But what about MY SANITY? I adore the kid, but if my nephew answers "pickle juice" to one more question, I may kill him. I have taught him this though - I know my sister will thank me: Guess what? What? Chicken butt.

am I going to do on my own starting in two weeks? How will I manage the kids alone? How will I get this house ready to sell? Will it even sell in this market? It's too much for me to keep up with though, so I have to sell it, whether I join my husband in South Carolina or not. It's an old house and needs constant upkeep that I'm just not prepared to take on alone. I need something a little more "low maintenance."

am I going to do about my crazy cat? She is truly mentally ill. The vet even said so. B is a nervous, jumpy, 10-year-old scaredy-cat. She used to spend 95% of her time in my bedroom, under the bed or in the closet. Then she found a place she likes even better. She lives in a 4' x 6' rabbit pen in my basement (2x4s and chicken wire). The top is open and she could jump out anytime she chooses. She chooses to not leave. I take her out (to brush her, pet her) and she fights to go back. She has a litter box, food & water, and a cardboard box that she uses as a bed. She seems to think she is safe in her pen. Safe from the children she despises, the other people she hates (anyone but me), and the other pets of whom she is frightened. The vet put her on Prozac, but she just freaked out when we tried to give her the meds. We gave up after a few weeks. If we try to take her, I think'll she have such a panic attack that she won't survive. If anyone else would take her (I can't imagine anyone wanting such a cat), she would likely have the same panic attack because I'm the only person she's ever been able to tolerate; also when she's unhappy she will pee on everything in sight - beds, couches, floors, EVERYTHING. I've talked about it with lots of people, but keep coming back to the same solution: I'm going to have to have her put down. I cry every time I think about it, but I just don't know what else to do. She won't be happy with anything else.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

TMI Tuesday!

Come play with us!

1. Your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your best friend, who are you (more) mad at?

I'm absolutely furious with the best friend, even more than the boyfriend, and probably will dump them both.

2. Is there something someone could say to you that would cross a boundary of not being able to take back or forgive them?

Several years ago I would have said yes, absolutely. Now, to my surprise, I have to say no. Spousehole has said the things to me that I believed I could never forgive and I have been able to move past it. Sometimes we even surprise ourselves.

3. What non-sexual body part do you find the sexiest?

The brain, no question. A sexy brain is more important than any physical quality.
If you really want something physical though, I have a thing for shoulders. Broad, sexy shoulders. And thighs. Toned, but not excessively defined man-thighs. But then there are also hands. Large, slightly rough hands. Mmmmmm. I think I need some alone time. If you'll excuse me for just a moment . . .

4. Would you ever consider cosmetic surgery to have the perfect body?

I would consider it, but there's not enough money in the world to pay for all the changes I would need!

5. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Yes ;-)

Bonus (as in optional) If you were going to have a one night stand, who would you rather it be with- an ex or someone totally random you just met?

An ex, probably, because I know them and know what to expect. While being with someone new is totally hot, learning about their body, their desires, -- there's something to be said for the familiar as well. Sex with an ex is probably safer (not as in "safe sex" just as in overall physical well-being safer) than a hook-up with a total stranger.

* * * *

Things around here have been good. Really, really good. I'm glad, but a little concerned too. Wondering when the bottom will fall out.

Spousehole has been acting like the man I married, not the ogre I've lived with for so long. He's pleasant, accommodating, affectionate (!), and just plain happy. It's bizarre. Sure there is some nervousness about the new job, the details of his moving down there, etc., but for the most part he's a different person. How is he different:

He put his wedding ring back on.
I got up to use the bathroom a couple nights ago and on my way back to bed he asked me to instead lay down and snuggle with him (we've slept in separate rooms for a very long time, only occasionally sleeping in the same bed and then only with pillows between us).
He washed my back in the shower and said nice things about my breasts.
He told me he loves me, in a nice way.
He's been hugging me for no reason at all.
When we were going up from the church hall to the sanctuary for church on Sunday he held my hand. Initiated it even.
He wants to spend at least one night, if not a weekend, alone together before he goes to South Carolina
He didn't object to my going out for and spending money on a manicure last night

I'm not sure who this guy is, but I'd like to keep him!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

MeMe, It's all about ME!

I have been a bad, bad blogger. I have failed to answer three (3!) tags!! I'm going to blogger hell for sure. Since two were the same meme, I'll just do it twice.

First, the incomparable Gretty tagged me for the Fill in the Blank meme:

1. I can’t believe I’ve never…
traveled outside of North America (I'm including the Caribbean as part of North America, whether it is or not)

2. Every time I think about … I still cringe.
all the embarassing things I did in college

3. I wish I’d …when I had the chance.
made a different career choice

4. I’ve never felt so out of place as when I…
started attending church again in my 30s

5. … is my guiltiest pleasure.
Sex with men other than my husband

6. I hope … know(s) how grateful I am for …
my parents . . . raising me in a half-way normal family, moving to Michigan from North Carolina when I was 8 (although I hated them for it at the time), and making it possible for me to get an education.

7. In my darkest hours, I secretly blame … for my dysfunction.

a lack of alcohol and cocaine

(If I just drank more it would all be okay!)...

8. … changed my life forever.

Meeting Spousehole

The lovely Amorous Chick (fka the Amorous Rocker) and the sexiest Troll I ever hope to meet both tagged me for the Six Word Memoir meme. I don't feel like re-typing how it works - just go see Mr. Troll. I wrote a few and posted them in comments on others' blogs, so if these seem familiar, that would be why:

Planned life, took detour, hopelessly lost.

Wife, Mother, Daughter; Searching for . . . Something

I'm not tagging anyone for these, because that's just the mood I'm in. If you want to give them a go, feel free and let me know!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Oh Shit, Now What Do I Do?

Spousehole was offered the position in Charleston. It's enough of a raise to probably make it worth it. He's going to give his current employer an opportunity to counter it, but I doubt they can offer that much. He's got a week to decide. They would like him to start May 1. They aren't offering enough in relo expenses though. $2000? WTF? Not. Even. Close. Will that even cover gas to drive both cars there? Not to mention movers, a truck, etc. Of course, I suppose we'd sell one car and just take the Mommyvan and the motorcycle.

The big question: Do I even want to go with him? I was thinking yes, I would give it a shot. Then when Spousehole was home for lunch today I asked him for a hug, since I had had a long morning. He thought about it for a full two minutes (120 seconds) and decided that no, he could not hug me. "You really haven't earned it, have you?" Fuck. You. Have you earned the loyalty and love the kids and I have shown you? (Shut up in the peanut gallery about my loyalty!) Have you earned our disrupting our entire lives to follow you 1000 miles for this job?

Oh, and did I tell you Boy's psychiatrist was arrested for Criminal Sexual Conduct involving a person aged 12-15? Yeah, that was on the news this morning. Not a patient, but still. Of course, he is innocent until proved guilty, but yowza, this bites. Boy has an appointment next week. I need to find out if the hospital has a plan to cover appointments or if we need to reschedule. Because the most important thing is not the doctor or his alleged victim, it's how this impacts MY schedule.

Fuckity fuck fuck FUCK.

HNT! Is it Really Spring?

It seems like spring may finally be coming to Michigan! It's a bit warmer and we haven't had more than snow flurries in almost a week. Time to start wearing my hair in a ponytail and wearing the pastel panties!

Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os at HNT_1

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

WTF Wednesday!

WTF is with people who chew their gum very obviously and with their mouths open and jaws moving side to side? Yuck! Confidential to CG and SG, who will never ever read this blog but it makes me feel better to say it: Spit out the damn gum before church! You look like a couple of cows chawing on their cud and it's annoying and distracting as heck. A group of us refer to sitting near you as sitting in the pasture. Surely you can live without your beloved gum for 60-75 minutes. AACCKK! Also, do your husbands have some sort of genetic flaw that attracts them to gum-chewing women? It's amazing to me that both of them ended up married to gum smackers.

WTF (W=why) do friendships have to end? You ever have that feeling that a friend is slipping away and there's really nothing you can do to stop it? Nothing's happened, you're just drifting apart. It bites. Big time. But you can initiate contact, pay attention to them, stroke their ego only so many times before you figure your friendship just isn't that important to them.

funny pictures

WTF is wrong with Comcast? Those futhermuckers took away our G4! They moved it to the digital tier, so we lowly non-digital subscribers cannot get it any more. No more original Star Trek. No more Morgan Webb, my girl-crush. NO MORE NINJA WARRIOR!!!! What will I do without my Makoto Nagano?

WTF is with anyone who didn't guess MUSHROOMS yesterday for the bonus???
I. HATE. MUSHROOMS! I do not consume fungus. No athlete's foot; no jock itch; NO MUSHROOMS. So yes, that means I fooled around Monday morning. I saw PiC for the first time in many months. The stars, with a slight nudge, aligned and we were able to get together. We really need to do that more often. And you know what? It's not just the nookie, though that is always fabulous. It's how he kisses me, touches me, even how he holds my hand as we go upstairs. I missed that. A lot. ;-)


Thanks to Old Knudsen of Old Bitter Balls for this, erm, loverly picture.

TMI Tuesday!

1. How are your March Madness picks doing? or What is your favorite event?

I didn't make picks this year, but I was rooting for the Big Ten teams, particular my beloved Spartans, but that didn't work out so well. MSU totally deserved to lose to Memphis though. Memphis was a way better team.

2. What is the best April Fool's joke - EVER?
No clue

3. Valentine's Day - bogus holiday or romantic holiday?

Romantic for those who are newly in love. "Meh" for the rest of us.

4. If you made any New Year's Resolutions have you broken them yet? or What have you done lately to make yourself a better person?

Didn't make any. I'm constantly striving to be a better person. I constantly fail.

5. If you believe in 'regret', what is your biggest regret? If you don't believe in 'regret', what do you call 'errors in judgment' or 'missed opportunities' in your philosophy of life?

I have regrets, but I choose not to dwell on them. If I had to do it over, however, I would have chosen a different professional path.

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us about four things about yourself, one of which isn't true.

1. I really, really enjoy sex.
2. As I write this, it's been less than 24 hours since I last cheated on my husband.
3. I love mushrooms.
4. I have a mole on my neck.