Down the Rabbit Hole

Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

TMI Tuesday

Today’s fun TMI Tuesday questions were submitted by Jz from “A Reluctant Bitch” blog. Enjoy!


Love, Hate, and Guilty Secrets. We never mind telling people about things we love or hate, but how about the things we love, but would hate for anyone to find out about?

Well, it’s time to free yourself of that fear!

For each of the categories below, list one thing you love, one that you hate, and then, take a deep breath and tell us something you hate to admit you love.

You’ll feel better for it!

1. Food
I hate MUSHROOMS (jock itch = fungus; athlete's foot = fungus; mushrooms = fungus)
My guilty secret is RAW GARLIC

2. Apparel
I love JEANS, I'll even wear them to church when I can get away with it
I hate SLEEVELESS TOPS, if you saw my upper arms you would understand
My guilty secret is GRANNY PANTIES (shut up! they are comfortable)

3. Books
My guilty secret is (tie) Janet Evanovich books and Fifty Shades of Grey series

4. Songs
I love Vivaldi's Four Seasons
I hate Kesha
My guilty secret is Cheap Trick's Dream Police

5. Movie
I love The Princess Bride
I hate Amelie
My guilty secret is Bridesmaids, 40-Yr-Old Virgin, and the like

6. TV Show
I love HOUSE
I hate most reality shows
My guilty secret is Last Man Standing

7. Celebrity Crush
I love Wes Bentley
I hate Rob Schneider
My guilty secret is Rachel Weiss

8. Music Group
I love Queen
I hate Celine Dion
My guilty secret is Styx

9. Sports Team
I love RED WINGS!!
I hate Broncos
My guilty secret is Blackhawks

Sex Position or Sex Act or fetish
I love OMG, I will take anything I can get these days.
I hate Not getting any
My guilty secret is Gay porn


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Paging Dr. House

I am becoming a female Dr. House. No, I didn't go to med school when I wasn't blogging. Yes, I've always been something of a sarcastic, self-centered bitch. The change? I now carry Vicodin everywhere I go and sometimes feel I'm gobbling it down like the leftover Halloween candy.

At the ripe old age of 44, I've come down with shingles. Herpes zoster. Chicken pox - the sequel.

If you have the choice to develop shingles or not, GO WITH NOT. Seriously. If you've had chicken pox, get the shingles vaccine. Your insurance may not pay for it until you're 50 to 60 years old. If that's the case, lobby the insurance company or just knuckle down and pay for it out of pocket (the price is coming down and your local pharmacy may actually have it cheaper than your doctor). Shingles is THAT miserable. You may still develop shingles after having the vaccine, but it will be far less severe than without the vaccine.

Here's the thing: if you've never had chicken pox, you can't develop shingles. If you or your kids haven't had chicken pox, get the chicken pox vaccine. Yes, a parent of an autistic child is advocating vaccines. (Vaccines DO NOT cause autism. Don't listen to Jenny McCarthy)

God, I'm a preachy bitch, aren't I? Sorry. I just really, really don't want anyone to go through this misery. The pain is ridiculous (they thought I had kidney stones or appendicitis until the rash finally appeared, trailing the pain by almost a week). The treatment is no picnic. The anti-herpes drugs can make you nauseous (Valtrex & Vicodin, in my case) and the Lidoderm patches that help immensely are pricey and not always covered by insurance. My insurance covered the patches, but my co-pay for 3 was still $30. Depending on the pharmacy they run $100 to $200 PER PATCH (3x3").

Otherwise, things are not horrible. Marriage remains sexless, but Spousehole has been good to me while I've been suffering. Kids are cute as all get out and doing great in school. Two cats died in six months, but they were older and it wasn't wholly unexpected. Remaining cat is a sweetheart who has really come out of her shell since the boys died. A rabbit fell into our laps soon after cat #2 died, so the cat has a furry friend. A furry female friend who nonetheless likes to mount and hump the poor cat. Hopefully spaying the bun will allow them to remain platonic friends.

What have y'all been up to?

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Friday, February 11, 2011

My Mom, 1941-2010

Not much has changed in my day to day life, hence not much blogging. Same old, same old. Mostly sexless marriage (May 2009 was the last time. Almost 2 years.). Same adorable, but aggravating kids, only bigger.

Well, there was one big change.

My mom died.

No one was expecting it and we're still taking it hard. She died on July 2. Talking to my dad one moment, saying something didn't feel right, and dead the next. Truly it was that fast. She had an abdominal aortic aneurysm and it burst. When that happens, one bleeds out very, very fast.

Of course my dad has had the hardest time, though he tries not to let it show. He's not one to sit around dwelling on things or feeling sorry for himself. But he admits he cries at least once every day still. He'll hear something or think of something and immediately think "I've got to tell Jan that" and then he remembers and his heart is broken all over again. He never, ever expected to survive Mom. Dad is 6 years older and continues to smoke despite having already had a triple bypass and carotid artery disease. His whole life, especially all his retirement planning, involved planning for Mom to carry on without him. It's been all about making sure she would be okay.

But she died as she would have wanted, if not WHEN she would have wanted. Mom's deepest fears were a lingering illness and being in pain. Both her parents suffered greatly before they died and she really, really wanted to avoid that. She got her wish. She beat colon cancer and uterine cancer (cancer-free 17 years) and in the end it was high blood pressure, leading to the aneurysm, that got her. But she didn't suffer and for that I rejoice.

Mostly though, I just miss my mommy.

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Let's Just Jump Right Back In

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is accused of rape in Sweden. A friend and I have been having a pretty heated debate about whether the facts, as reported, qualify as rape.

Assume the facts are as set forth below. Then tell me if you think either woman was raped, was assaulted in a manner less than rape, or no crime was committed, or whatever your view is, ON THESE ASSUMED FACTS.

Woman1 meets man through work. Is a little in awe of him because of his public position. Invites him to her apartment where things progress to the parties agreeing to engage in sexual intercourse. She says he must wear a condom. He complains and tries to talk her out of requiring a condom. She insists. The parties have sex, with a condom. The condom fails (whether by chance or by the man's underhanded tampering) and the woman's body comes in contact with the man's semen, a occurrence she was specifically trying to avoid.

Woman2 meets man through work. After a couple days of working together, they go out to dinner and she invites him to her apartment. The parties have consensual sexual intercourse, after a negotiation regarded condom usage that results in the man wearing a condom. The parties sleep together, nude, in the woman's bed. In the morning, the woman awakens to the man entering her, sans condom. She does not object, does not ask that he put on a condom
(she says she was aware that he did not have a condom on), and agrees that she at that point consented to intercourse continuing to completion.

Both women later ask man to be tested for STDS or provide evidence of recent STD testing showing him to be free of infection. He declines, having left their country and planning to never see either woman again.

IMO, this man is an asshole. No question. If he has an infection, he obviously should tell them. If he does not or does not know, he should be tested and provide the results. Any gentleman would
do that without hesitation. His failure to do this is stupid and would be illegal in many US states if he was infected with HIV (and sometimes other STDs), knew of the infection, and failed to inform his partners.

Intentionally sabotaging a condom and unprotected intercourse with prior knowledge that a partner objects to unprotected intercourse might be charged as battery by allowing one's bodily fluids to come in contact with a person who objected to such. However, this might be difficult, as any person who agrees to sexual contact with another person, even with a condom, is consenting to whatever contact might occur if the condom fails.

BUT HERE'S THE MAIN QUESTION: Was the second woman raped when she awoke to find her sexual partner from a few hours before entering her, she did not object and in fact consented to the sex act continuing?

Clearly having sex with a completely unconscious person would be rape. But who among us has not had "wake-up" sex? Does it make a difference if the persons are regular sexual partners or have only had sex once?

Please discuss, but keep it polite, 'k?

Yes, I'll post an update on my life soon, thanks for the well-wishes and concerns :-)

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Snowpocalypse 2011!

Dude, it snowed.

Here in Chi-town we haven't gotten the ice that has plagued so many, but we got snow. A couple feet on our driveway and reports of more to come.

I'm going to have to learn to back out of the driveway, because Spousehole only shoveled enough for backing out, not for turning around. Maybe snow bumpers will help keep from hitting the house (again) or neighbor's fence (again).

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Thursday, May 20, 2010

HNT - 5 Year Anniversary!

Can you believe HNT has been going for FIVE years now??? Happy Anniversary to all the HNTers out there and especially to Os without whom we wouldn't even have HNT!! Os, YOU ROCK!

In honor of HNT's 5th Anniversary, here is my very first HNT from back in 2007. (I would recreate it for today, but my toes are looking pretty scary right now - been awhile since my last pedicure!)

Now go give Os some love!

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Root of the Problem

We were told that the basement of our new-to-us house in suburban Chicago was very, very dry. Never a water problem. Ever.
So imagine our surprise Thursday morning, waking up to 4" of water in the basement. The carpet and pad were floating on the water. Spousehole poured water out of the computer case. Worst of all: the poor cats were trapped in the utility room and the fat one couldn't jump up on the washer or dryer because he's SO fat (25 lbs., if you were wondering). He was a very wet baby.

We had a bad storm Wed night/Thur morn and most of the water in the basement was storm water. But not all. There was some "blackwater" too. Ewww.

Eventually it was determined that there was a break in the sewer line somewhere between the house and the road. Wastewater has been draining into the front yard, probably since we moved in last month, but the storm pushed the soil beyond the saturation point and, voila!, a back-up.

They had to dig a trench in the basement and access the line that way. They took out some enormous roots that had pressed down on the clay pipe and shattered it, along with some more roots out near the street that were blocking the line as well. It was a huge mess. It's hard seeing what was your nice comfy family room become a mud-filled disaster zone.

New pipe was laid and we can once again pee, shower, wash dishes, wash clothes, and in all ways dispose of liquids in a sanitary manner. The family room reconstruction will have to wait until everything is dry.

The Rabbit family has been welcomed to Illinois in a spectacular fashion.

To top off my fabulous time, Spousehole is mad at me but I have no idea why. This morning my daughter presented me with Spousehole's wedding ring, saying "Mommy, look what I found!" I hate these little games of his. Sometimes it makes me hate him.


To blog is a self-invasion of privacy

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Well we're moving on up . . .

Up north, that is. Back to where we once belonged. Sort of. After trying very hard to find something here in SC, turning down a couple jobs that would have required big moves, we gave up and Spousehole accepted a position in a northern midwestern state. Not the one where we came from, but not far away.
We're making our way to the hog butcher for the world, tool maker, stacker of wheat, player with railroads and the nation's freight handler; Stormy, husky, brawling, the city of big shoulders. The Queen of the West. Or as Monte Burns once called it "The Miami of Canada" (which always reminds of one of my favorite late, greatTV shows -

Otherwise known as Chicago. Okay Chris and Stephen, not really Chicago, but the 'burbs. Not sure which 'burb yet, since we haven't found a house. So Chicagoland; is that better?

Back to snow. Back to schools not rated the second lowest in the land (SC schools motto: Thank God for Mississippi!). Back to expensive frickin' real estate. Back to houses with basements! (swoon; I never knew I'd miss basements so much).

Guess it's time to change the location setting on my favorite hook-up site . . . which is a big laugh, since I've been very chaste since moving to SC, including within my marriage. Once since I moved here in September 2008. Once. Yeah, that's right: ONCE.

Can you feel the frustration?

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy