Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Tagged! - Desktop View

I was tagged by Girl Under Cover to show you my desktop:

I use Ubuntu, so if this looks a little different from the norm, that's why. Mine is quite boring. No cool pics, nothing interesting. Sorry. Even the game icons were put there by my son (he has his own log-in, but plays with mine anyhow). Actually, my 6-year-old son's desktop is far more interesting. He has Mr. The King as his background and his desktop is COVERED in game icons. Some are repeated many times.

The Rules:

Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop. Don't add or remove icons before doing this - we want to see what your desktop REALLY looks like. Here's how to do it on most systems:

1. Go to your desktop and press the Print Scrn key (to the right of F12)

2. If you get a "save" window, save it. Otherwise, open a graphics program (like Paint, Picture Manager, Gimp, Photoshop) and paste it (ctrl-v). If you wish, you can edit before saving. But don't, okay?

3. Post the screenshot on your blog. Describe and explain if you wish, such as why you chose that look, what your background is, or why you have so many/so few icons.

4. Tag 5 friends and ask them to show us a Free View of their desktops as well.

5. Add your name to this list of Free Viewers with a link pointing directly to your Desktop Free View post to promote it to succeeding participants!

People who have already pimped their desktop:

Chez Francine
Unchained Melody
LadyJava’s Lounge
Revellian Dot ComDesktop
Emila’s Illustrated Blog
Spiff, The Spaceman
Brown Baron
The Kat House
Views From the Back Row
Life Under Cover
Down the Rabbit Hole
add yours here after doing this tag.

I tag the following:

Chelle of It's My Escape
Sue of That Rusty Road to Zion
Ed of Edtime Stories
Crse of Zamphir, Panflutemaster
ZigZagMan of Zig's Rants

If I didn't tag you and you want to play, do so and let me know you did!

You scored as Exotic Dancer Barbie, You are Exotic Dancer Barbie!! Lucky you!

Exotic Dancer Barbie


Transgender Barbie


Sorority Slut Barbie


Barbie got Back


Goth Barbie


Gansta Bitch Barbie


Which Funny Barbie Are You?
created with

Weekend Blogging . . . Again

My life is just too damn much fun. Anyone want to trade?

Man, what a weekend (she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm). Laundromat to wash all the stomach bug soiled stuff at once on Friday. The cute college boys only started showing up about 15 minutes before I was leaving, darn it (yes, I know I'm old enough to be their mothers; I can look). On Saturday, an attempt at taking the kids to play at a park, but the Boy first sat with his head on Daddy's lap and then came to me, crying, saying that he just wanted to go home. Who can refuse such a sad kid? Then a solo trip to the library. Checked out "Curse of the Were-Rabbit." That brought a smile to my kids' faces. Got "The Constant Gardner" for me, but don't know when I'm going to get to watch it. I've had a video from Netflix on my shelf for two weeks that I haven't watched yet either. I got books too, in case it sounds like I've forgotten the main purpose of the library. Also found out that parking at the library is free as long as you want on Saturdays with a library-validated ticket - woo hoo! (Usually library validation only gets you the first hour free. I understand at libraries in the suburbs they have something called "free parking." Not terribly familiar with that concept. May have to look into it.)

We did all make it to church this morning. First time in 4 weeks. The kids did great, then both had a recurrence of the stomach thing as soon as we got home. Of course, their father isn't here to help out or anything. He's off at a ropes course with the senior high youth group. What could make my day even brighter? My in-laws! They just called and are going to "drop by" in an hour and a half or so. They live an hour and 15 minutes north of us. Not exactly "drop by" distance. Oh well. It's their gas, right? But I'm not even attempting to clean things up for them.

I remember when Friday night was party/date night. Saturday was spent recovering from Friday, hanging out with friends, volunteering, maybe a party or date again Saturday night. Sundays meant a leisurely breakfast out reading the newspaper, sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend, sometimes with whoever I saw Friday or Saturday night. Visit my parents in the afternoon, scam some dinner from them that night. While that may not sound terribly exciting, it would be heavenly compared to this drudgery I've experienced lately.

I really need to pull myself out of this funk. All I do is complain, complain, complain. I'm turning into that person described in Chelle's recent post "Would You Like Some Cheese With That Whine?"

Somebody smack some sense into me, okay?

Friday, September 28, 2007

Some Clarifications

When I said "I ::heart:: PiC today" that does not mean that I've developed feelings, beyond lust, for him. I just meant that I appreciated him in that moment. I'm not going against my own "never get emotionally involved" advice. We are friends, who happen to get naked and have fun. Nothing more. I love my husband. Sometimes inexplicably, but I do.

Although I complained about Spousehole's not answering or even acknowledging simple questions, please note that in the particular situation I related, he was being a really good Dad. He washing barfy/diarrhea Boy while I changed the bedding. He is often a "hands-on" Dad and I appreciate it. He bathes children, he changes diapers, he roughhouses with the kids, and he does things like take the Girl onto the porch during a storm to watch lightning when I really want her out of my hair. He also was totally cool today with my getting out of the house for awhile (Boy is sick STILL, I needed a break). He took care of the kids and didn't complain one whit. Also, he has agreed that this illness of Boy's has been very hard on me and that I deserve a day or so away, on my own, to relax and rejuvenate when this illness is finally over. I know exactly what I want to do, if it can be worked out. We'll see. Anyway, he can be a good and helpful person. Who just doesn't want to have sex. (Sorry - had to throw that out there.)

And, finally, I will not be taking pictures in the periwinkle bra and panties at the same time and posting a full-length shot for HNT. Not going to happen. I like my breasts; I don't mind my bum; but the area in-between is not for the faint of heart. Stretch marks, c-section scars. No, that won't be posted. Ever.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

For The Responsible Cheater

Feeling bad that your infidelity is causing an imbalance in the emotional atmosphere? Want to do something about it? Now you can. It's called CheatNeutral. You've heard of carbon offsetting? Well this is infidelity offsetting.

From the website:

What is Cheat Offsetting?

When you cheat on your partner you add to the heartbreak, pain and jealousy in the atmosphere.

Cheatneutral offsets your cheating by funding someone else to be faithful and NOT cheat. This neutralises the pain and unhappy emotion and leaves you with a clear conscience.

Can I offset all my cheating?

First you should look at ways of reducing your cheating. Once you've done this you can use Cheatneutral to offset the remaining, unavoidable cheating

The best part? It's great for cheaters AND those who don't cheat! Cheaters can pay to offset their misdemeanors and non-cheaters can get paid for not cheating! So even if you are single and never, ever in a million years are going to laid, you can get paid for it. What's not to love?

If you're a cheater like me, it costs only to pay £2.50 to offset your cheating ways. That's about $5.06 for us North Americans!

Note: CheatNeutral is a spoof. They won't really pay you to not get laid. Sorry.


I had a picture a while back of a cute periwinkle bra and got requests for the matching panties. Here they are:

Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os at HNT_1
I submitted mine (covered and uncovered). Have you submitted yours?:

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wednesday Mind Wanderings

Am I totally rockin' those fake sunglasses thingies
they give you after your eyes are dilated, or what?

From this morning:

Boy is much perkier today. He actually wanted to put something in his stomach today, which is a big improvement. What he wanted was soy ice cream at 6:30 in the morning, but what the hey . . . at least he wanted to eat. I figured it would be okay just this once. Please don't tell the mommy police . . .

My mother is going to set foot in my house today. Third time in 2007! No wait . . . 4th. A minor miracle in itself. She lives 45 minutes away, but to hear her tell it she's practically a continent away. I have an ophthalmologist appointment today, so she's coming to watch the kids. She's not happy about it and will bitch about my imperfect housekeeping, but at least she's coming.

You have to understand my mom, who would never leave her house if she had the choice. She prefers that people come to her. When I lived in the same town, she still only set foot in my house maybe 10 times a year, not even once a month. Before I bought a house it was even less. When I went away to college, she came to campus 3 times in 4 years - and one of those was graduation. She never, ever saw where I lived in those 4 years. She'd pull up outside the buildings, but never got out of the car until graduation day. When I lived in Detroit (3 years), she visited twice - and one of those was for graduation. But she drives by herself to Iowa every year to visit her cousins, surviving aunts, and other assorted relatives. My sister and I know where we fall in the hierarchy.

I couldn't figure out why my nipples were so sore this morning. Walking around thinking "This is just weird. Kind of a good sore, but weird." Then I remembered, duh, PiC made me pinch and twist the heck out of them last night in a surprise, extended sexy IM session. Just when I think I'm bored of him and that he's reached the limit of his "freakiness," he surprises me by taking things a little further. I ::heart:: PiC today.

I had just wrapped up a chat with another friend and was headed to bed when PiC popped up on my screen. We haven't had a good IM session (more than hi, miss you, bye) in a long while. The stars apparently aligned, because both our families were in bed so we each had some time and some privacy. I won't get into much detail, but damn, I needed that. A bit of (tame) conversation:
(10:58:54 PM) PiC: I am such a perv
(10:59:22 PM) Bunny: No, not at all. Well, ok yes, but in a good way

Why can't my husband answer a simple yes/no question quickly? It just pisses me off sometimes. The other night, I was changing the bedding on my bed as Spousehole helped Boy clean up in the bathtub (Boy had thrown up all over my bed and himself). Standing at the linen closet, since I'm there anyway I asked "Honey, would you like a washcloth?" 15 seconds, silence. 30 seconds, nothing. 60 seconds, still nada. I sigh annoyedly (is that word?), close the linen closet door and return to my bedroom with the clean linens. Finally, I hear "Yeah Hon, that would helpful." He does that all the time. Like it takes a great deal of thought before he can answer a simple question. Others that have drawn this same extended silence before answering: "Do you have my car keys?" "Would you like some iced tea with dinner?" "I'm getting ice cream. Want some?" After waiting a bit, I usually just walk away. Then he gets huffy because I walked away before he could answer. It's like he's a computer that needs defragging or something. Can't access the needed information quickly.

I need a new pet. Someone to baby. My kids and my cats are sick of my babytalk and cooing. My daughter puts her finger on my lips and says "hush" when I babytalk her. The cats roll their eyes (I'm not kidding. They are the masters of the disdainful look. At 12, 9, and 9, they've heard it all and are no longer amused.) I really miss my dog. Perhaps a dog would be good. Or another rabbit. Dog would be better for the kids, they'd be too rough with a rabbit. And they want a dog BAD. They've been angling for one for quite some time. Just have to convince Spousehole. :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Remote control O?

Found in the October 2007 Vanity Fair, in an article entitled Lazy America:

n recent years people have learned to accept the presence of technology, mechanical or pharmaceutical, in the bedroom. But even Cialis seems old-school in comparison with a new gadget recently created by Dr. Stuart Meloy of Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Meloy's still-unnamed wonder one-ups the Orgasmatron proposed in Sleeper, Woody Allen's 1973 comedy of the future. With the adoption of Meloy's invention, there will be no need for foreplay, not to mention dinner and a movie. Discovered serendipitously as the doctor was treating a woman with back pain, the device is a remote-controlled electrode surgically implanted into the base of the spinal cord. With a click of the wireless remote, it welcomes you to the future in a big way, sort of all over. Ninety-one percent of women tested by Meloy reached orgasm in recent F.D.A.-approved trials. (The other 9 percent told the electrode, "Don't worry, honey, it happens.") No, the product is not yet on the market.

I can see my husband wanting to get this device for me. Not because he wants me to have orgasms, necessarily, but to relieve him of the burden of being expected to provide them. He could participate in sex to point he chooses, then just click the remote to make me come. Ok, he would click it a couple times because once he's into it he likes me to get there more than once, but you see what I mean . . .

Frankly, I'll take old-fashioned ones, thank you. What's the point if you don't work for it? If he would like to pay for some unnecessary surgery, I'll take LASIK, thank you.

Inspired by a friend . . .

TMI is down one post.

Trying my hand at fiction again, inspired by a friend. Important to keep the hands busy, after all.

I walk into the bathroom, surprising you as you emerge from the shower. Without a word I kneel in front of you, taking your flaccid penis into my warm, soft mouth. My hands stroking your inner thighs, my fingernails leaving light red marks in their wake, it doesn't take long before you're at full attention.

You put your hands in my hair as I continue working back and forth on your gorgeous cock; taking it in slowly, then quickly, shallow then deep, pausing only to give your balls the attention they deserve. Even as I lick and nuzzle your balls, my hand slides up and down your shaft, squeezing firmly, then lightly, and firmly again, wanting it to last. My hand moves back down to continue stroking your balls while my mouth returns to your engorged cock, taking just the head in my mouth, encircling it with my tongue, sucking gently; then, with my lips covering my teeth, I pull you into my mouth with more urgency. You place your hands on my shoulders as you begin thrusting in and out of my mouth, moaning softly. Your moan causes me to moan around your hard, pulsing shaft and soon you fill my mouth with your creamy, salty goodness.

I stand and kiss you, letting you taste yourself in my mouth. You may think we're done, but the morning's adventures have just begun.

TMI Tuesday!!

It's TMI Tuesday! Click the "I kiss and tell" icon to come play with us!!

1. Who did you think you would marry in elementary school?

Chip Jones.

2. Which muppet is your favorite? Why?

Beaker. The interactions between Bunson and Beaker just crack me up. (I'm rather easily amused, I suppose.) But I also really like the Swedish Chef, Stadler & Waldorf, and Animal. But somebody get rid of Fozzie Bear - please! However . . .
You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick.
You're always willing to lend a helping hand.
In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going.
"15 seconds to showtime!"

3. Which politician would you most like to screw? [For pleasure or revenge]

Thomas Jefferson. What's not to like? He was intelligent, he had that funky red hair (I've never been with a red-head), and he had a really cool house. If it has to be someone currently walking the earth, I'd say Bill Clinton or maybe John Edwards (corrupt him a little).

4. How did you first find the g-spot?

When I do I'll let you know. Want to help me look?

5. What is the best costume you've ever worn?

Probably the slutty witch costume I wore Halloween 1992. It looked good and got the desired result from Scott, the guy I was lusting for at the time. And the look I got from my doorman when I stumbled home at 11:00 am the next morning (I didn't exactly have something else to wear home) was priceless.
Edit: The costume was a clingy black dress, very low cut, with a shredded hem, kind of like an Elvira costume, with less stunning cleavage and a larger waist :( Red pumps with 4" heels (the "fuck-me" pumps) and black fishnet stockings, snake bracelet (wrapped several times around my wrist/arm), large-ish pentagram necklace, classic witch hat, big slutty hoop earrings, and a broom.

Bonus (as in optional):Does pornography liberate or deteriorate society?

Wow. Kind of hard to answer shortly and succinctly. In theory it can do both, but in practice it has probably deteriorated society. It has contributed greatly to the objectification and diminution of women. It can lead to unrealistic sexual expectations in both genders. Erotica, as opposed to porn, is perhaps more liberating.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Oh Lord, Please Let This Day Be Over Already

I am whipped. Beat. Bone-tired. It was a long, rough day. Why, you ask? Perhaps this will help explain:
Oh yeah, I spent my day at the hospital with Boy. His intestinal virus continues ravaging him, unabated. He had a doctor appointment today and the doctor sent him over to the hospital to be rehydrated intravenously. This picture was snapped before the drama of the iv insertion. Awful does not begin to describe it. He kept screaming "Why? Why?" and sobbing "Please stop. Please just stop." He topped it off with a "Please don't hurt me anymore!" that nearly broke the nurses' hearts.

Rehydration seemed to help, as did the anti-nausea drug they gave him. He actually ate some dinner tonight. Followed by diarrhea, unfortunately.

Let's hope tomorrow is a better day.

Mute Monday - Ride

It's Mute Monday and today's theme is "Ride." Caution: Somewhat NSFW today!

My first car. Born the same year as me, lovingly restored by my Dad and me from September 1982 to September 1983, when I turned 16. I miss that car.

Spousehole tries to get Girl to help ride the bike back to the garage.

Not me. Not even close. But it is the same type of bike Spousehole rides.

Not me, but closer. (And yes, I would ride nude. With a group.)

But here's how I'd rather be riding:

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Ok, You Lost Me There . . .

I'm still terribly undecided about who to support in the next Presidential election. I like Clinton, but I think enough people absolutely hate her that her electability is a concern. I like Obama, but I have concerns about his lack of experience. Edwards doesn't move me. Most of the Republicans piss me off. I used to agree with Guiliani on a lot, and I think he did wonderful things in NY, but even I have issues with how he has handled his personal life (moving Judi in before Donna and the kids were even out of Gracie Mansion? Serious lack of good judgement.)

But today I must pick on New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson. He vows to tackle obesity issues as President. He said "We must help people understand that it is a disease, not a behavior. And those of us who are overweight or obese are not lazy or undisciplined. We cannot allow Americans to be taken in by the easy comfort of stereotypes." Washington Post.

Speaking as a person who is "overweight or obese," I take issue with this view. I, for one, AM lazy and undisciplined. I think that is true of most of us with weight issues. Yes, genetics are part of it - we got the lazy and undisciplined gene! Yes, there are emotional issues that contribute (they vary, of course, but include sexual abuse/rape, depression, loneliness, and more). And women's bodies are programmed to hold onto fat more than men's (in order to bear and feed the children even if food is scarce). But "lazy and undisciplined" pretty well sums up the bulk of it. For instance, I should go to the gym every day, but I only go twice a week, three times if I'm feeling motivated. Lazy and undisciplined. I should eat healthier, but I don't always. Because I am undisciplined. Simple as that.

Am I wrong? Tell me why.


This was totally random. I swear.

Smurf Name

Your Smurf Name is
Naughty Smurf
Get Your Smurf Name at


Their Royal Sicklinesses

Sir Barfs-A-Lot and Lady Di-arrhea

Eating applesauce and drinking Gatorade (they hate Pedialyte - can you blame them?) while watching Thomas the Tank Engine. Notice the blanket covering the entire couch - I'm no dummy. Protecting the upholstery is a must!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

A Rare Saturday Post

Why am I posting on a Saturday? I don't really know. Got nothing to say. I am bored out of my freakin' mind. My son has been sick for a couple days (vomiting, diarrhea, and now a fever) and I'm stuck at home taking care of him. I hate being cooped up in the house. Spousehole did a charity walk-thingy today and went out to lunch with a bunch of people, while I cleaned up diarrhea and vomit messes. And he can't understand why I just want to get the heck out of Dodge for awhile. Besides, he's playing Halo now and can't be bothered to watch the kids. Joy.

I think I'm restless because I've been incredibly horny and can't do anything about it. I have had one child or other in my presence constantly for a couple days - and I mean 24/7. I haven't had actual sex for almost a month, but hopefully that will change soon. PiC's schedule and mine just don't really match up now that school has started again. And there's someone else who is particularly fascinating to me right now that I would really love to hook up with (you know who you are), but distance is a significant issue. This all adds up to one very frustrated Bunny. Such is life.

The MSU-Notre Dame game will be on soon. Perhaps that will distract me for a while. That is, if the children will relinquish the television. Maybe if I cry the little tyrants will throw me a bone. Or maybe I'll sneak upstairs and reconnect the cable to the upstairs TV. Shhh - don't tell my husband!

Why would he disconnect the upstairs TV? I don't know. He was mad one day and disconnected it. I never bothered to ask why. His latest control move: he put a program on my computer that powers it down every 30 minutes. So if I'm chatting with you and suddenly disappear, check the clock. If it's the top or bottom of the hour, it's the automatic shutdown. I'll reappear in a minute or two.

Is it a type of Stockholm Syndrome that I've come to kind of like the automatic shutdown every 30 minutes? It reminds me to get up, move the laundry from the washer to dryer, unload the dishwasher, sweep the floors, whatever. (Though even when I was online continuously, I still did these things. It's just now I'm on a schedule.) I feel incredibly rude when I disappear when I'm chatting with someone, however.

Have a great weekend. If the Boy's illness, and thus my captivity, continues I may even be back tomorrow. (BTW, he has an appointment with the after-hours clinic this evening if he isn't feeling better.)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

HNT - After the Workout

Since I missed HNT last week, here's my sort-of sports HNT. This is after my workout yesterday, still in the sports bra with my hair wet from sweat. Yucky.

Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os at HNT_1

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Saving Jane - One Girl Revolution

I love this song!!! This acoustic version is very cool.

I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you

Your Score: Pure Nerd

65 % Nerd, 43% Geek, 47% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.


Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Arrrggh! It Be Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Go check out this out - it's too funny and very pirate-y!

I had been hoping me pirate name would be having some reference to the illustrious Dread Pirate Roberts, but, alas, it was not to be.

My pirate name is:

Dirty Jenny Kidd

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from
part of the network

I'm on to a new book: Notes on a Scandal by Zoƫ Heller. It's from 2003, kind of old and already made into a movie. I've not seen the movie, so it's all new to me. Kind of a Mary-Kay LeTourneau situation, as told by a "friend" of the female teacher. Well written so far, but I'm only about 50 pages into it.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

TMI Tuesday!!

It's TMI Tuesday! Click the "I kiss and tell" icon to come play with us!!

1. What is one thing your significant other could do to you to rock your world?

Return to being the nice, thoughtful, loving person he was when he was on his meds.

2. Which super power (ability to turn invisible, ability to read people's thoughts, or invulnerability) would you take and why?

Invisibility. You could be a fly on the wall for so many things, I think that would be cool.

3. Would you rather be tied up or tie someone else up? Why?

Being tied up, but it's really closer to a 50/50 proposition for me. I like both, but for me to be tied up means I must really trust the person I am with and I like the idea of trusting someone that much. Also it would force me to submit and focus on my own pleasure, which is something I have trouble doing - I tend to be more concerned about my partner's pleasure. So tie me up, baby!

4. What is your best physical and non physical asset?

Physical: Eyes or breasts, take your pick. Though I have nice feet too. Very nice feet.
Non-physical: Intelligence (she said modestly)

5. If they were naming new Dwarves beyond the seven what would your name be and why?

Horny, of course. Need I elaborate?

Bonus: What's the most embarrassing thing you ever bought?

An enema. (It was for use before a colonoscopy.) Yes, that was more embarrassing for me than any sex toy I've purchased.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Finally, My Boys Are Back!

Three television shows are "can't miss" for me. Everything else I can take or leave, but 24, House and Prison Break are must see TV for this me. The men on these shows are phenomenal. I've had a thing for Kiefer Sutherland from back in his Julia Roberts days. Hugh Laurie is adorable and his character is f-ing brilliant. His looks alone wouldn't hold me, but add in the the brilliant, sarcastic character and I'm hooked.

That leaves Prison Break, the show that fuels my fantasies. Not the storylines - no, the writers did not exactly bring their A game every week last season. Their timeline is seriously screwed up (the weather in Chicago never matches the month it should be if you follow their timeline), people seem to teleport from point A to point B sometimes, but the story is not the reason to watch. The reason to watch is the serious eye candy. Hot men everywhere you look, but two stand out to me. No offense to Dominic Purcell fans, but he doesn't do much for me. He's hot, but his character is dumber than a box of rocks and I don't do dumb. Same with Sucre. Beauty is fleeting, dumb is forever. I just don't do dumb. No, the hotties on this show for me are William Fichtner as Agt. Alex Mahone and Wentworth Miller as Michael Scofield.

The boy first: Wentworth Miller is amazing to look at and his character is intelligent and always tries to do the right thing. The hot Boy Scout. He can give me the blue steel anytime (that refers to his EYES, get your mind out of the gutter). But let's face it, he's a kid. A boy. The real man on the show:

Alex Mahone. That William Fichtner was not nominated for an Emmy is freaking ridiculous. He portrays all this character's layers so well; he's just brilliant. The writers have messed with us a bit (what happened to his drug habit? Hello?) but Fichtner's portrayal never wavers. You can see in Fichtner's face how much the character of Alex loves Pam and Cam and you just want to make it all better for him. Then tear off his clothes and make mad, passionate love to him because William Fichtner is hot, hot, hot, HOT. Holy cow, I need a cold shower just thinking about him. Definitely would not kick him out of bed for eating crackers, no siree. The character is intelligent and so is the actor and that's a necessity for me. Great looks and an incredible body are fine, but if you can't hold up your end of the conversation, it won't work. I'm far more interested in your mind than your body.

And I will therefore greatly miss this season, everyone's favorite Magnificent Bastard, Agent Paul Kellerman. Actor Paul Adelstein is going to be on some Grey's Anatomy spin-off, blah, blah, blah, whatever. All I can do is hope that the spin-off fails dramatically so the Magnificent Bastard can return in triumphant glory to his rightful place on Prison Break (because we all know he didn't really die last season. Right?) I mean, c'mon, the guy was hot even when he was torturing Sarah. (I feel so dirty just saying that, but it's true!) We will miss you Kellerman.
I do look forward to the return of Robert Knepper as everyone's favorite murderous, in-bred, psychopathic pedophiliac , T-Bag. As horrible as this character is, Knepper brings a humanity to him that makes you almost feel sorry for him sometimes. Knepper also keeps playing it straight, even when the storyline strains incredulity with T-Bag's continual escapes and resurrections.

Are you a Prison Break fan? What shows do you like?

Mute Monday - Sweet!

Or as I prefer to pronounce it

Sunday, September 16, 2007


and not in a good way. Not at all. I was hoping we'd get more than 2 weeks into the new school year before Boy brought home a virus. No such luck. He was showing early cold symptoms Wednesday night. He spent Thursday night throwing up. The cold thing has just gotten worse and worse and guess who caught it? That's right - me. Stuffy head, post-nasal drip, cough, sore throat, the whole shebang. No fever though - just an ordinary cold.

I kept Boy home from school on Friday (after the barfing that was a no-brainer), but if he's not streaming snot tomorrow he's going to school. If nothing else, I need the rest. If I don't rest, these simple colds tend to turn into something more sinister for me. I seem quite susceptible to bronchitis if I don't actively try to head it off. I used to get pneumonia easily, but supposedly the most recent pneumonia vaccine I got (in August) will curtail that somewhat. Have they revised it? Because I got one several years ago that was supposed to be good until I was in my 60s and I still got bacterial pneumonia once and viral twice. What's so different about this shot they gave me in August? Maybe I should try asking the doctor instead of you all, huh?

We celebrated my birthday with my family this weekend. Went out to eat, had cakes, presents, the whole deal. My eyes watered while I was opening gifts because Spousehole walked away after singing Happy Birthday. Apparently something on SciFi was far more interesting than celebrating his spouse's birthday. Maybe he just felt like an ass because he didn't even get me a card. Though he did tell me before we met my family at the restaurant that he was going to get me a card while he and Boy walked around at the mall while I supervised Girl playing in the kiddie area but he couldn't find a card shop. It is true that we were in the only mall in North America with absolutely no card shop. None at all. It's a pretty sad mall -great play area though!

Later each of my adult family members (sister, mother, father) approached me individually to see why I seemed sad when I was opening gifts and make sure they weren't the one who upset me. I explained to each one that it wasn't her/him, just sadness that Matthew couldn't even be bothered to hang around while I opened gifts. Or sit at the table with us to have cake and ice cream (he took his and returned to the TV). My self-centered autistic kid was far more attentive than his father. But really, what did I expect?

Friday, September 14, 2007

Dentist poll

You may notice I have a poll on the right about the dentist. I went to the dentist on Tuesday this week and was talking with my totally hot dentist (remind me to tell you about the time 13 years ago when we were both single . . .) about how most of his patients aren't terribly happy to see him. Apparently I am the freakazoid exception - I love going to the dentist! I love getting my teeth cleaned and that great feeling afterward of having a perfectly immaculate mouth. I love having them tell me what a good job I do at flossing and brushing. I love getting the little bag of dental swag (toothbrush, toothpaste, little thing of floss that fits perfectly in my purse, coupons for other stuff). I see no downside to the dentist.

But I know that most people don't agree. I know that some have had dental nightmares (root canals, teeth pulled, etc.). My own sister inherited my dad's bad teeth and has had problem after problem. I was extremely lucky to inherit mom's great teeth. I had a couple fillings as a kid and had to have braces for 2 years (with attractive headgear!) and wear retainers for 4 more years, but that's the extent of my bad dental experiences. Well, I had my wisdom teeth out too, but that wasn't even too bad compared to others' experiences (even though I had 7 wisdom teeth - extra teeth run in the family).

So what is your take on dental visits? Answer in my poll to the right. Feel free to elaborate in the comments here.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Sorry, No HNT . . .

I'm just not feeling fun and frisky today. Not sure what's up with that - probably just hormonal, kwim? I'm just feeling icky and awful. Strong, sexy, confident me will return, but for today, Spousehole wins. I am weak, ugly, and deserve everything bad that ever happens to me. It's just that kind of day.

Are You Ugly?
You are just plain ugly. You even think so yourself but you won't get more ugly or good-looking!

Take the quiz!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Atonement and Forgiveness

Sundown tonight marks Rosh Hashanah for Jews the world over. I love the ideas behind Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The concept of atoning for our sins, being forgiven (hopefully), and starting anew with wishes for a sweet and fruitful year is highly appealing. (Or maybe I just like the food. Honey - mmmmm.)

I am not Jewish, of course, but my faith journey has taken me down many paths. Many of my college and law school friends were Jewish. Part of our friendships included sharing, comparing, and contrasting our faiths and partaking of one another's rituals. I miss that in my current home, where I have few friends of other faiths, which is largely a result of the Christian homogeneity of my area.

During this time of year, our Jewish friends look back on the year and acknowledge their mistakes, their sins against man and against God. Don't we all need to take the time to recognize our mistakes and own them? I love how this is expressed in the last third of the poem "To The Mistakes" by W. S. Merwin, as spoken to the mistakes:

you are the ones who
are really my own
never will leave me
forever after
or ever belong
to anyone else
you are the ones
I must have needed
the ones who led me
in spite of all that
was said about you
placing my footsteps
on the only way

W.S. Merwin, as published in Twenty Poems to Nourish Your Soul, p. 53.

Part of what I love about Rosh Hashanah is the obligation to apologize directly to those you have wronged, so you may have a clean slate for the new year. So many Christians apologize to God, and ask forgiveness from God, for their sins, as we are taught. But Jewish tradition teaches that it is fruitless to ask forgiveness from God when it is a person you have wronged. You must apologize to and seek forgiveness from that person before turning to God to wipe the slate clean. (I realize that this conflicts with the Christian concept of Grace being freely given, etc. but just work with me here.) Think how much better people would get along and how much more peaceful life could be if we all admitted our sins against one another and asked forgiveness. Even if the forgiveness is not granted, wouldn't we feel better for having tried?

I know this has worked for me in my relationship with Spousehole. I regularly forgive him for things for which he has never apologized and will never apologize, because I don't think we can make any progress if I do not. It is my obligation as a Christian and necessary for my own well-being. He, however, does not forgive me anything, ever, forever dwelling on my misdeeds and stewing in his own anger. Over the years I have apologized and all but begged forgiveness. I do not expect him to forget the ways I have wronged him, but is forgiveness so much to ask?

Jewish tradition also provides that once one has apologized three times to someone, he or she is relieved of the responsibility of further atonement, even if forgiveness has not been forthcoming. I have apologized and asked forgiveness more than three times (per transgression), but forgiveness has not been forthcoming. (I sometimes wonder if he even has the capacity to forgive. I just don't know.) But I have resolved to stop asking forgiveness for those things for which I have apologized three times. I won't drag myself down that road anymore. At this point, it is his problem, not mine. I give it to God to sort out.

To all my Jewish friends and readers, Happy Rosh Hashanah and best wishes for the year 5768!

Wednesday Mind Wanderings; Nutella vs. Poop

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

This seems to be pretty accurate. I was a very good lawyer - I just hated it with every fiber of my being after a while. But writing was always my forte - I wrote briefs for others all the time, particularly appellate, and was great at editing others' work. (My favorite part of being on law review was the editing - I was really good at it. My knowledge of the style book amazed others. My moot court briefs were pretty darn good too.) My 1.5 year foray into journalism (local TV news associate producer - consumer beat) was successful and I actually enjoyed it (it just doesn't pay beans and when Boy was born I needed to stay home with him). There I wrote and edited stories very well and enjoyed interviewing people on camera for stories.

Hopefully now that I'm 40 I can figure out what I really want to be when I grow up.
Particularly if I am going to get out of this marriage - I really want to be gainfully employed before I do anything like that. If I decide to end it, that is. Another area where I don't know what I want. Great. I've become the type of person I usually can't stand - indecisive, flip-flopping, unable to pull herself out of a downward spiral. I'm maxed out on my dosage of anti-depressants (ie., "maximum therapeutic dose"), so more drugs are not likely the answer. Getting my shit together is the answer - I just have to figure out how to do that.

Enough with the sturm and drang!

The "Is it Nutella or Poop?" dilemma:

I got out of the shower today and saw dark, three-dimensional handprints on the wall. I didn't have my glasses on or contacts in and wasn't sure what I was seeing. The split-second monologue in my head:

"Well, it's probably either Nutella or poop. I hope it's Nutella - I don't want to clean up poop. Boy went through a poop-smearing stage several years ago and that was just disgusting. No, Nutella would be much better. But wait. Maybe it would be better if it WAS poop. Because if it isn't poop, that means someone's been in my Nutella. Their nasty, filthy little hands in my beloved Nutella. What a horrible waste of Nutella. And Nutella's not cheap, even at Costco. Yeah, I think I'd rather have it be poop than my sweet, chocolately, hazelnutty Nutella. But poop is so gross . . . "

It was Nutella. Which is a good thing, since I found the 2-year-old licking it off her fingers. Don't want to contemplate the alternative . . . . And I have a whole other, unopened jar of Nutella hidden on the top shelf of the pantry.
Shhhh - don't tell the children.

Recently read:
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. A short novel about an autistic teenager and his investigation into the death of a neighbor's dog. He uncovers far more than he bargained for and must deal with the emotional consequences. A very interesting look at the world from the point of view of an autistic protagonist. I enjoyed this book, though as a mother parts of it were heart-wrenching. Recommend.

Blackwater: The Rise of the World's Most Powerful Mercenary Army by Jeremy Scahill. Scahill takes an in-depth look at Blackwater USA, one of the largest defense contractors in Iraq, a commercial operation acting on behalf of our defense department and other clients. Scary, scary, scary. I was drawn into this book for two reasons: my intense unhappiness with our country's actions in Iraq and the fact that I knew Erik Prince, a founder of Blackwater, back in the day. (Hey Erik - remember the W.O. girl from the custard shop who refused to date spoiled blonde H.C. boys no matter how much they flaunted their daddy's money? Yep, it's me and I still don't like you! Even "northside whores" have standards.) Remember the 4 U.S. contractors killed in Fallujah, their bodies dragged through the streets and hung on a bridge by gleeful Iraqis? They were Blackwater contractors. A very interesting book. Highly recommend.

Currently reading:

Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford

What are you reading currently? What have you read recently?
Tell me in the comments or an email.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

TMI Tuesday!! #100!!!

It's TMI Tuesday! Even if you don't usually play, play today to celebrate #100! Click the "I kiss and tell" icon to come play with us!!

1. Where was the first place you ever had sex?

The actual first time: My friend's boyfriend's house, in his little brother's bedroom. Eww!
The second time, but the first time I was in love and it was wonderful: boyfriend's bedroom in his parent's house.

2. Does size matter? (open to interpretation boys and girls)

Penis size? Yes, it does, to some extent. I'll take short and thick over long and skinny any day! Seriously too large can be scary; teeny-tiny (like the size of my pinky finger - and yes, I've experienced this) isn't too thrilling either. Just about anything in between monster and miniscule is great, so long as it is attached to a giving, enthusiastic partner.

Overall body size? I'm not too terribly picky in this area either, though I can't say I've ever been with a seriously overweight guy. As for height, I've dated guys from 5'6 to 6'7" and prefer someone in the 5'9 to 6'2" range, but I'm really not too picky. But at 5'2" I find that being with REALLY tall guys presents some logistical issues.

Overall, however, intelligence, enthusiasm, and a sense of humor are far more important to me than height, weight, or penis size.

3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment?


4. Ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. In a pool, Lake Michigan, and Lake Huron.

5. Top or bottom?

Yes. Sometimes I want to ride, sometimes I want to lay back and enjoy the ride. Either way is A-okay with me!

Bonus: Where were you September 11, 2001? What were you doing when you first heard about the twin towers?

Driving in my car with my 9 month-old son. I had to pull over and call my husband, I was so shaken up. As a new mother, I was horrified that I brought an innocent child into such an evil world. I was devastated and terrified for him. I also know a lot of people in NYC and someone who was posted at the Pentagon, so I was scared and worried for them as well. We walked around the mall (our destination at the time) in a daze and went to Sears to watch the coverage on TV. I was crying and sick to my stomach so we just went home without meeting our play group at the play area.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Gawd, Could I Be Any Geekier?

For Mute Monday, go one post down.

Labor Day weekend my BIL and his wife informed us that their two-year-old daughter was already a major Star Wars geek. Normal people would react to this by saying "Okie dokie, whatever" and walking away backwards and slowly from the strange parents. Spousehole and I: totally jealous. Our kids haven't been as into Star Wars as we would like, despite frequent viewings of Eps 1-6. They like ST:TNG and original Star Trek, but not so much Star Wars. The Girl likes ewoks, that's about it. Boy likes R2, but c'mon, doesn't everybody?

Star Wars Horoscope for Virgo

You show efficiency when working for a good
But you tend to be a bit fussy when it comes to doing something out of the ordinary.
Like many Virgos, you want to stay out of the spotlight.
You do well at picking up the smallest details.

Star wars character you are most like: C3P0

Our kids are huge into Wallace & Gromit, though, so I suppose they have some geek cred. Boy likes Thomas the Tank Engine, but that's pretty much a requirement for autistic kids. Both kids really like Porco Rosso, an anime flick. (See my Porco Rosso description here.) So I suppose they are geeks-in-training. Perhaps the force will be with them one day soon.

Now they got their asses handed to them by Oregon State! I know I should be kinder to a fellow Big 10 school, but gee whiz ~ they just keep bringing the suckitude!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Mute Monday - Music

Here the two instruments at which I am most skilled, although I also have played (for specific concerts or pieces) alto sax (jazz band), tenor sax (jazz band), English horn (orchestra/symphony), cymbals (marching band), and bass clarinet (symphony band).
My absolute favorite; I played in bands and orchestras until my early 20s,
when law school had to take precedence.
I tried to pick it up again last year, but I've totally lost my embouchure.

I began playing the clarinet, a single reed instrument, when I was 10, but switched to oboe, a double reed, when I was 12. I continued playing the clarinet for marching band, though one year I played cymbals when we needed more percussionists for the Tulip Time parades. I loved playing clarinet in jazz and pep bands. I can still pick up a clarinet and play decently ~ embouchure isn't such an issue with a single-reed instrument, though I worry about ruining years of expensive orthodontia.

My high school marching band, September 1984,
in the stands at a football game. That's me in the red circle, with my 1984 semi-mullet and excessively curled & teased bangs. I scanned this out of my yearbook - the original was fuzzy too.