Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Monday, October 29, 2007

No, Not the Music . . . Anything But the Music!

Mute Monday is down one!

Spousehole is really testing my patience and love this time. Holy crap - he deleted my music!

The only shared folder we have on our Linux computer is music - that way we aren't duplicating efforts and we can share music files between the two of us.

Spousehole was reviewing some of the music files I put in the shared folder and decided that I was listening to "inappropriate" music, so he took it upon himself to DELETE IT ALL. Not just the "inappropriate" music, but everything I had in there. If it showed that I saved it, he deleted it.

OMG, I may have to kill him.

My mp3 player died a sad, sad non-Spousehole related death a while back. Let's just say that when they tell you not to fully immerse electronics, they really mean that, especially if the liquid is Diet Coke. Long story. R.I.P. Lil Monsta. (To his credit, Spousehole went to extraordinary measures to try to resuscitate Lil Monsta.) Everything I had on there was backed up in that music folder. New music that I planned to put on the replacement mp3 player was in that folder.

Now it is all gone. What exactly did he find "inappropriate?"

Some of the ones he recalls that "bothered" him:

Kid Rock
So Hott (it was the unbleeped version, but still)
U & UR Hand
Who Knew (huh?)
You Shook Me All Night Long
Back in Black
She's Got the Jack
Big Balls
Fall Out Boy
This Ain't A Scene (unbleeped version)
Eminem could have been anything - he hates Eminem

Also deleted, for no damn reason except that they were mine:

Styx, Garth Brooks, Kelly Clarkson, Robyn Hitchcock, Sarah MacLachlan, Toby Keith, Lindsey Buckingham, Avril Lavigne, Led Zepplin, Alabama, Beastie Boys, Bowie, The Police, Rick James, Prince, KC and the Sunshine Band, Offspring, Def Leppard, Duran Duran, Melissa Etheridge, Saving Jane, Van Halen, Sheryl Crow, Queensryche, John Mayer, The Flaming Lips, Leann Rhimes, Velvet Revolver, STP, Live, Presidents of the United States, Jars of Clay, The Empire Records Soundtrack, kd lang, The Beatles, Aretha Franklin, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Croce, Cher, Bon Jovi, Jeff Buckley, Metallica, Patsy Cline, and many, many more. Do you have any idea how long it took me to accumulate all that music?

But his Olivia Newton-John songs are still there. All 56 of them. Asshole.

EDIT 4:00: He did later apologize for deleting ALL my music. Admitted he overreacted to the songs he found inappropriate (didn't want the kids to hear, in addition to thinking I shouldn't listen to them either) and just deleted everything. So he did apologize. I should have mentioned that.


Trueself said...

Stunned does not begin to describe my reaction to what he did.

Sad is a pretty accurate description of my reaction to your situation.

Anonymous said...

That sounds a bit much for even a Dom to do to his own sub. Much less a relationship that is not described as a D/S relationship.
I get the feeling that there are lots more stories than just this one - some good and some bad. I kind of hope this one is not an example of the whole relationship though.

Sue said...

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.

His shit would be beyond deleted.


Things like this are why I will never give up my job and access to my own money, or my computer, which is password protected from him.

I'm sorry. *hugs*

Ron Burgundy said...

Sorry to hear. Music is personal and doesn't need to always be shared. My wife is a Classic Rock Gal (Allman Brothers, Rolling Stones) and I'm Art-ternative (The Smiths, Depeche Mode).

Hope you can get some of your songs back.


Chelle said...

Ugh!! Just because HE doesn't think they appropriate, what gives him the right to delete YOUR music? Apology or not....that was totally WRONG for him to do.

I would be LIVID!!!

Renee said...

Apology or not, you are not a child. They were not inappropriate to you. I would be incensed INCENSED if H did that to me.

If SH didn't want the kids to hear them, all he had to do was say something. Right? That's how adults do things. GAH! Control freak is he.

Lady in red said...

can you not retreive them from the recycle bin

Hmmm I can imagine SF doing things like that if I didn't have everything password protected.

that is nothing but a blatant show of controlling you. You should make him download them all again for you. don't let him get away with this or he will continue to control you what will be next throwing out your books?

Anonymous said...

Ummmm.... uhhhh.....


I cannot even fathom this! Apparently, he doesn't want you to share anything with him.

Rae said...

Um...did Olivia Newton-John even HAVE 56 songs?

Patsy? Beatles? Kelly Clarkson?

I'm sorry, I would have had to geld the man for removing all my songs. I think maybe you should just delete all his too and tell him, "Well, I thought it would be great to have a clean start."

I think Olivia is more inappropriate than Eminem any day. :-)

I hope your evening is better. *hugs*

Uhave said...

Kill him now. No jury would convict you.

George said...

An unhonourable apology is worth shit. Easy for him to apologize ... I despise people who give you a flippant oh so sorry, my bad ... with a smile on their faces. Even if the s-hole wasn't sorry, I cannot believe for a nano second that he meant it. That is fucking disgusting of him. Who made him God? As far as I know that position is filled and there are no plans for replacing him any time soon. What a childish bastard.

Sorry for ranting about your spouse.

Definite grounds for divorce. I have about 3,000 tunes on my pc, no not the Ubuntu partition sad to say, and if ya wanna drop by I'll be more than happy to share that and other stuff as well

Anonymous said...

"But his Olivia Newton-John songs are still there. All 56 of them. Asshole." Well that's kind of a red flag right there, LOL.

I also have quite the collection on my puter. If you would like something, I would be glad to send it to you if'in I got it. Wil

Sassy Lucy said...

Wow - that's a knee jerk reaction. My dh would have got an earful.
My music would have been deleted to by him as I have similar tastes in music.
Well, we know what you will be doing for awhile. Good luck finding your tunes.

ZigZagMan said...

How many innapropriate porn and games of his is he willing to delete in an act of fairness?

I rarely speak to this lass....but that one is bullshit...:)

Dates Bubbas said...

I'm almost speechless.

Deleting his files would accomplish nothing. That would be stooping to his level. Actually, that's what he wants you to do. It's another one of those things where you're supposed to flip your hair. Unfortunately, all that does for you is continue to set a precedent for the man controlling every aspect of your life.

I ask again. How much more does he have to control and how much more of a poor example of humankind does he have to display before you take your children and leave?

Vixen said...



Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!?!?!

It doesn't matter what in the hell you had in your music. You are an adult and nothing makes it ok for him to do something like that.


I've been in the most controlling relationship a female can be in and now that I'm out it makes me so sad for you to hear shit like this happening. :(

NOT. ok.

Sulpicia said...

You MUST go read this post! We can all learn from this woman.

Very bad spousehole!

Sulpicia said...

Great music, by the way!

Joy, shared said...

I'm not sure where he's coming from.

If you were using a shared MP3 player or there were songs on there that your kids were listening to and shouldn't be, then I could see having a discussion about whether or not they were appropriate for a place where the kids had access to them.

Otherwise, he doesn't need to approve your music. If you're not forcing him to listen to it, he shouldn't even have much input into it.

And, he objects to Garth Brooks and Toby Keith but listens to Olivia Newton-John ... ? I'd question his attraction to women, but you said he deleted Cher, too.

D said...

he has moved beyond controlling and is into terrorism. and you know what you have to do to fight terrorism. you fight back. he deletes your music. you can't explain how a bent staple found its way into his underwear.

if he says anything just apologize and say you'll try to keep that from happening again.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Do you cook for this man?

If not, perhaps you should start. If you do, oh what a stupid man he is.

At my house, there would be retaliation. And I would smile.

Lady in red said...

I still think you should make him sit down and get all your music back and keep at it until he has....make him realise what a big thing it is that he has done.

Don't retaliate don't sink to his level but you must and I repeat must

make sure he knows that what he did was wrong on every level

don't let him think he can get away with behaviour like this

Cali Girl said...

I'm so at a loss for words as to what to say to this... no, I take that back, I'm at a loss of something appropriate to say to it. You have your own reasons for staying with someone as controlling as that and it's not my place to judge.

I just hope that you're strong enough to know it and do it when it's really time to walk away

Dates Bubbas said...

Again, the sage advice of lady in red beckons to me...

Don't retaliate don't sink to his level but you must and I repeat must

make sure he knows that what he did was wrong on every level

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. I would kill. Kill kill. But music is my love and passion in life. So sad. That sucks. I don't happen to find your "inappropriate" music to be bad at all. Then again, I listen to some that's worse so that's probably why, teheh.

crse said...

What. The. Fuck. Im speechless friend. Speechless.