Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Morning from He!!

Man, what a morning I've had. The Boy has been having some problems lately with riding the bus. He just doesn't want to anymore. He has been riding a school bus since he was 2 with no problems. In fact, he has always loved riding the bus. But the last few weeks something has changed. He fights and screams and says "No 833" or "No 844" (his morning and afternoon buses, respectively).

Our first thought was a bully. He rides a bus that only has special ed students. He goes to a "neighborhood" school, meaning most of the kids walk. Only the speds ride a bus, because they come from all over the city. It's a full-size bus (not a "short bus") and there are only 4 kids on the bus, including Boy. He doesn't sit near anyone else and has very little interaction with them. The drivers say there has never been a problem between him and the other boys (special ed kids are more often boys - his autism classroom is ALL boys). The boys aren't loud, so unless there's a noise emanating from the bus itself it's not likely a sensory issue. I just don't know and he doesn't have the verbal skills to tell me.

At first it was only the morning bus; he was fine coming home. Now he is fighting both. He has never been a terribly violent child. He is known for being pretty laid back. But not about this issue.

This morning he had a major league breakdown when I tried to get him on the bus. Banging his head on the walls and windows of the bus, kicking, screaming, biting. He punched me in the face several times. He wouldn't keep his seat belt on (yes, they wear seat belts) and I had to take him off the bus. I woke and dressed his sister and drove him to school. It's about a 15-20 minute drive; not bad, but I don't want to have to do it every single day.

The only other time I've seen him this hysterical was when he had to have an IV inserted last month when he in the hospital.

He balked at going into the school, but he went without a real fight. He seemed fine once he was at school. The teachers say he is fine once he gets there every day. He follows the rules, does his work, participates as he should. He just doesn't want to ride the bus anymore.

His class is going on a field trip today to a farm. They are supposed to ride a bus. The teacher and I discussed it and decided to try to get him on that bus. If he has another meltdown he'll ride in the teacher's car (she was planning to drive anyway, in case any kids needed to go back or something before the day was done).

So I'm exhausted and frustrated and have a lovely purple mark developing on my face. If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

To SCM: Thanks for listening to my ranting and raving about this and for your helpful suggestions. I know you've been there with your boys and your support means a lot.


craig andrew said...

Maybe it is the other students at the school teasing him, making him sensitive about being "different".

Just a guess really... Good Luck! and have a better day.

George said...

I know so little about most things but autism even less so I can't comment other than to say ... I hope you can find the cause and heal it soon.


Lady in red said...

maybe it has nothing to do with the bus but thats just his way of getting you to notice something is not right in his world.

Dates Bubbas said...

I know next to nothing about this topic, but I'm going to lean toward lady in red. Unless maybe it has something to do with an association to the color or smell of the bus. Can't imagine if it's not one of the other kids. *shrug* I'm so sorry!!

Sue said...

Aw, man. I'm sorry. I agree that it might not be the kids on the bus, but maybe a single kid at school. And since he knows the bus goes to school, maybe his mind theorized that if he refused the bus he'd stay home. ???

It's hard enough to deal with kids who don't have any learning issues, I couldn't imagine what you go through on a daily basis.

Lots of hugs and hopefully you'll either find the problem, or at least a solution that is acceptable to everyone without being horribly stressful for you.

crse said...

Im so sorry ive been gone sweetie. If its not interpersonal then are you sure its not sensory? The fumes could be upsetting to him. I know I hate buses for this reason. I do appreciate all the feedback your readers are offering and i think its awesome but im guessing its the actual bus just based on my autism experience. Have you guys tried switching seats? How long is the ride? Email me sweetie

D Pop Tart said...

Hey, Bunny :)

Gracie sent me here (I'm also DeeDee from SK) and I have an auspie. She's 18 now (I can hardly believe that - one one hand anyway).

I don't know much about your son, and I certainly don't claim to be an Autism Expert, but I would first of all say, "You are a damn good mom and don't you forget it." Special needs parents have lots of things and people ready to tear 'em down & make them question themselves and take it from a looney one, you've got to know how good you are (this post alone shows how much you care) and replenish yourself.

As for your son and the bus, I wouldn't rule out any people on the bus. Not that anyone is doing anything creepy, but you know how anything can be misinterpreted.

But my gut tells me, since it seems nothing has really changed, that it's some seemingly inconsequential thing which has him spooked. Could be the bus driver had to serve from hitting some idiot who stopped to fast, or the bus driver was upset over another driver - swore or muttered something. Could be he saw something thru the window of the bus which he now associates with the bus.

I know, I know; none of this is very helpful.

But the good news is, you care, you're working on it, and you've got support. Use it all babydoll; your big brain, your huge heart, and all of us who care about you and your family -- cuz believe it or not (and there are so many days it's hard not to) you do matter. You do great things. :)

Email me and ifin you wanna, we can hook up on the phone -- I won't even charge you by the minute, but you'll as good as if you had :p