Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Period Sex Poll Results

The results are in! 39 people responded to the period sex poll. Of those,

4 (10%) responded that neither they nor their partner has a period, so it's was a moot point for them.

14 (35%) responded that they do not have sex during their or their partner's period.

21 (53%) responded that do indeed have sex during their or their partner's period.

It would be interesting to break down the "do nots" by which partner is uncomfortable with period sex, the man, the woman, or both. One person explained in a comment that it is her partner who freaks out at the very thought of it. But always remember: no one should feel pressured to do anything they are not comfortable with; if period sex is too squicky for one partner, so be it. We all have our preferences and this is just one of them.

That said: It's no big deal, really. It's just a little blood and uterine tissue and perfectly natural. Just another bodily fluid among many being exchanged in any sexual encounter. Think about it - is menstrual fluid really any more gross than seminal fluid? Sure, you feel (or your woman feels) bloated and ugly and crabby and crampy, but period sex can help with all that! You feel attractive when someone wants you, right? Exercise helps with bloating and cramps. Orgasms ease cramps. Sex puts you in a good mood. What's not to like here, people?

In my personal experience, I don't like the mess, but sometimes you're just too horny not to just go ahead. But there are ways to reduce the mess. Leaving a tampon in until immediately before penetration works for some people. Just remember that you may need a little lube to get started in this situation, even if you don't normally use it - tampons are drying. And put down a dark towel to protect the sheets (or carpet or upholstery or whatever). Missionary and it's variations are probably best, lest gravity enhance the natural flow. Taking a shower together after to clean up can be just as fun and loving as cuddling.

Other people use menstrual cups (Instead, Diva Cup, Lunette, The Keeper & Moon Cup) or a diaghram. Just don't - DO NOT - use a Today sponge when you are having your period. I know this from experience and I really don't want to get into those details. Let's just say it's not pleasant (of course that was 20 years ago during the first incarnation of the sponge, but we'll assume nothing has changed).

Some people just have stand up sex in the shower to minimize clean-up. You get to be in the shower and don't have to worry about the mess - what's not to like?

As for oral sex, even I'm a little squeamish about that, but some people swear by leaving a tampon in and letting their guy go on down. If he's cool with it I suppose I would be, but I have never tried this myself. There's always something new to try . . .

As always, USE PROTECTION, because you CAN get pregnant on your period and because you are at more risk of passing/receiving an STD during your period if you or your partner are infected.

One more thing, guys: remember that a woman's breasts can be very tender during her period. Proceed with caution with her breasts until you find out what's comfortable for her during this time and what isn't. It may be very different from her preferences the other three weeks of the month.

Would I have period sex as the first time with someone new? No. There's enough uncertainty with someone new that you needn't add this complication. For me, period sex is something you do with someone with whom you are in a relationship and can be comfortable laughing through the gross moments.

Some resources:

Cosmo advice
Associated Content: Sex During Periods: Gross or Acceptable
Wiki Answers Have Great Sex While She's Menstruating

For the view that sex during menstruation is a sin, see this article. It think this is a stupid way to look at it, but I'm trying to acknowledge that there is another view.

Are you willing to share your thoughts?


Desmond Jones said...

OK, since you brought it up. . .

We have done period sex, but don't really prefer it. The mess (altho, as you say, it can be dealt with pretty straightforwardly); there is something vaguely 'gross' about the blood, etc, but that isn't really a huge obstacle for us. Mainly, Molly just doesn't 'feel like it'; I'll just say that she doesn't feel particularly sexy during her period, and leave it at that. (Altho I'm sure there's some 'gross factor' at work, too - she won't let me go down on her for a week after her period's over. FWIW. . .)

Besides, at this stage of the game, her periods only last 2-3 days, so they provide us with a nice break to 'recharge the batteries', so to speak. . .

And, yes, it's technically possible to get pregnant from period sex, but geez, that would be either a really short 'buildup phase' to the new cycle, or really long-lived sperm.

wisdomstuff said...

Nope, it doesn't really work for me. I'm uncomfortable with it and it turns SO off so that is fine and if I'm that horny I can take care of myself. It's good to be self sufficient.

Renee said...

We used to have sex while I was on my period until H confessed that he doesn't really like it. He says the blood makes him squeamish and the wet noises are distracting. Whatever.

I don't mind it. Yes, it's messy but I love sex more than I hate the mess. I'm on day 3 of my period now and am climbing the freaking walls. Get over with already! ;)


Sue said...

Great post. Problem is, the wrong one in my family is reading this.

And your note on breasts, dead on sister. I ended slapping his hand away after asking repeatedly a couple weeks ago for him to be more gentle. Him not listening to what I say is normal, but at that point it hurt enough that I didn't care if he got mad that I slapped his hand.

Trueself said...

For my thoughts, see this post from my blog from about a year ago. If you're too lazy or busy to go read it the short version is:

Throw down a towel and go for it!

Flyinfox_SATX said...


Dr. Ruth would be proud of this post! Man what an education I just got. Good and interesting...


Weekends Off said...

It's just not for me at all. But to each his/her own! :0)

I dated a man who didn't care and used to beg for me to give in but no I just can't. It grosses me out just thinking about it.

I'll be GLAD when menopause sets in and I don't have to deal with it anymore.

Vixen said...

Mm.....shower sex.....

LOL ;)

You know it's a whatever for me. I think pple were willing to admit it in an anon poll. So many pple act like it's....whatever. Eh. It's a whatever to me. If I want sex, I want sex damnit. It's stupid and silly to avoid it just bc of THAT.

Good poll. :)

Loving Annie said...

The first day of my period hurts too much to want to do anything. (Except maybe to give him head.)

The 2nd, 3rd and 4th day, I'm fine with doing it in the shower.

The 5th and 6th days which are really just a little spotting, I'm fine with doing it on the bed with a bath-sheet/towel underneath us...

I'm super conscious of washing carefully. I use SebaMed 3.8 pH and swear by it because I NEVER smell anything but clean/odorless then.
So maybe it'd be okay to be eaten then - I've just never had anyone try.

T.M.I !!!

George said...

Answering from a guy's perspective (at least from mine)... I don't have a problem with it at all. While I have not gone down on anybody whilst on her period, under the right circumstances I would try it out. Of all the women who do not mind sex during her perios, I would imagine the number who would allow a guy to perform oral would be are few.

Michelle L. said...

It's totally me. I cannot even stand to be touched while I am on my period. I sleep in the guest room that week!!

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend and I usually have sex while I'm on my period. I have a very odd cycle though. It never lasts longer than 3 days. I'm also a very light bleeder for however long it lasts so the mess is always very minimal and there is hardly any blood involved. He doesn't mind and I don't mind most of the time.

I would NEVER ask him or even want him to go down on me while I'm on my period though and I doubt he would anyway.

If I had a more "normal" period then maybe my opinion and practices would change, but who knows, lol.

Fantastic post Bunny.

Ron Burgundy said...

My name is Ron and I was a no =).

It's 100% the Mrs. on this one and frankly, it isn't that big a deal to me. I've learned there is nothing wrong with a little 3-4 day break in the month for us to clear our heads and not think about sex.

Of course I can't say the same for the other 26-28 days!!

Great poll question-


Chris said...

Wonderful post. I'll be staying in the shower though. Conveniently, my partner and I feel the same about it. :)