Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

My Husband Does Have Redeeming Qualities

Yesterday Girl had to go to the doctor on a last-minute basis at 5:30 in the afternoon. Fever of 103 (this has been going on, off and on, for 10 freaking days), with no other symptoms. When husband arrived home to an empty house with dinner started and abandoned, he figured out where we were. He came straight to the doctor's office to (a) find out what was wrong with our baby and (b) stay with Boy in the waiting room. You see, Boy HATES the doctor's office. He was hysterical about just being in the waiting room. We have seriously discussed sedating him for doctor appointments, just like he gets sedated to see the dentist. It's part of his autism; these things just totally freak him out.

When Husband arrived, I was never so happy to see anyone. That he performed the mental calculations to figure out where we were (I didn't leave a note) and came to help meant a lot to me. He was patient and kind through an interminable wait as they tried to catheterize my darling Girl. (Didn't work. Poor kid. And poor me, as I had to help hold her down - she may never forgive me.) He was good with going to the hospital to have blood drawn and try the catheter AGAIN (didn't work). He offered to buy dinner for us all at the hospital and didn't complain about the money. It was 7:45 by the time we got the blood drawn and were able to eat something in the cafeteria. Then he even took us all out for ice cream to try to compensate for our misery. (And we still don't have that damn urine sample from Girl.)

I've said so much bad crap about my husband lately, I figure it's time I told you some good things about him. Here's more:

He's a brilliant programmer. His code is elegant and streamlined. Commercial programs today are so bloated and over-coded because programmers are lazy. They don't take the time to streamline and pare down their code to make things smaller and faster. You'd think they were paid per line of code or something. We'd have more room on our hard drives for mp3s, jpgs, and mpegs, if everyone's code was as elegant as his.

He volunteers his time and talents in the community. He is active in our church in youth programs and anti-poverty programs. He raises funds for several good causes through physical endeavors and other activities.

He makes creative and lovely stained glass windows (maybe all the lead cam has gotten to his head . . .). He can be very funny when he is relaxed and happy (and properly medicated). When he cares for someone, he will go all out. He is a great friend (often putting friends ahead of family ~sorry, had to get that snark out). He helps the neighbors and others when they need to move heavy stuff, get locked out of their homes, or have a car that won't start (not that he's any real help on that last one). He's trusting and gives people the benefit of the doubt (unless they are married or related to him). He doesn't lie well. He knows his snoring is really, really bad and has tried to do something about it.

He adores the children, even if he has to be reminded to demonstrate it to them. He is a good sailor. He can disassemble his motorcycle and re-assemble it in one afternoon and I would not hesitate to ride on it afterwards.

He believes that I have it in me to be a better person, he just doesn't know the right way to encourage that. He got us new mountain bikes this week, after I mentioned ONCE that I'd really like a new bike. New helmets too. Pretty cool. He figured out how to do most tasks regarding my mp3 player with linux, even though the manufacturer says it won't work with linux, and patiently explained them to me. He deleted my favorite game and seemed to actually feel bad about it (didn't realize I played it that often).

Before we were even married, he learned I had lied to him about something and he forgave me and still married me. This lie comes up again when we fight, but he's still here. He may throw it in my face, but he hasn't left me (yet).

Finally, he has a great looking ass. Seriously, it's near perfect, naked or in (be still my beating heart) Levi's. This is not just my opinion. Women I've asked who don't even like him agree that it is a damn fine ass. Every gay man I've ever asked agrees too.


crse said...

I am married to a computer programmer too. Can I just say? Finding this out makes everything a lot more clear.

The inside of me said...

LOL I am in the same boat. When ever she brings up that past thing, I just say, yes but you kept me so I must be worth it. I am not a computer programer but a good provider. I can bring home the bacon and cook in the bedroom, and any other room for that matter. :)

Dates Bubbas said...

I hope your daughter is feeling better soon!! From what you described, it sounds like she's got some kind of UTI. They suck.

I think we all *knew* he had to have some redeeming qualities or you would have packed up and left a long time ago.

FYI - some programmers are paid by the line for their code. There are other reasons for slow, bloated code. One is called a project schedule. The other is that in big places (read: Microsoft) half of the software is built in one place and the other half somewhere else and then it's slapped together in yet another place. Not much different from material manufacturing, really.

Nalini said...

I have some things to say that I hope don't come out wrongly...but here goes..

First off, I'm so sorry about your baby, is she feeling better? What was wrong with her?

Second, we all knew he had some redeeming qualities...or it would have made it much easier to leave him. The problem with most people is that they still have something about them that keeps us loving them, even if we're blooming unhappy doing it...

Your husband sounds like he may have problems opening up...or that he has ulterior motives for doing things. Volunteering in church and all that is great, s'long as he isn't doing it to ogle pretty young for helping you with the kids and all that...he should, it's his responsibility!

Bunny, I think you sound like a great person in a bad situation...I'm not saying he's a bad person, I only say that from what you say...he sounds like he's punishing you for something...if you truly forgive someone something you don't bring it up to hurt them whenever things go wrong...

Some things he does are sweet, it really worth it?

SM said...

If he's such a brilliant programmer and he is suspicious of you cheating, he's most likely been logging all of your keystrokes without you even knowing it. There are definitely "invisible" applications that can be placed on your machine without your knowledge.

Be careful with your choices. Better yet - make your decision and move forward. If he's as involved, smart, and technically savvy as you say, you're most likely going to pay dearly for your deception. And you probably won't even know what hit you.

Bob said...

All that said about your husband, after taking a stand up leadk, does he put the seat down on the toilet? That's the real test of any relationship. :)

Bunny said...

Bob - lol, yes, he does put the seat down. Lid too. He's very well trained in that regard.

David's Traveling said...

this post sounds like a foundation to go from 'rabbitgonewrong' to 'rabbitthatusedtogowrongbutisnowgoingright' ;-)

Semi-Celibate Man said...

As a husband, it's good to read a post like this now and then! Good for you for writing it.