My Husband Does Have Redeeming Qualities

Yesterday Girl had to go to the doctor on a last-minute basis at 5:30 in the afternoon. Fever of 103 (this has been going on, off and on, for 10 freaking days), with no other symptoms. When husband arrived home to an empty house with dinner started and abandoned, he figured out where we were. He came straight to the doctor's office to (a) find out what was wrong with our baby and (b) stay with Boy in the waiting room. You see, Boy HATES the doctor's office. He was hysterical about just being in the waiting room. We have seriously discussed sedating him for doctor appointments, just like he gets sedated to see the dentist. It's part of his autism; these things just totally freak him out.

When Husband arrived, I was never so happy to see anyone. That he performed the mental calculations to figure out where we were (I didn't leave a note) and came to help meant a lot to me. He was patient and kind through an interminable wait as they tried to catheterize my darling Girl. (Didn't work. Poor kid. And poor me, as I had to help hold her down - she may never forgive me.) He was good with going to the hospital to have blood drawn and try the catheter AGAIN (didn't work). He offered to buy dinner for us all at the hospital and didn't complain about the money. It was 7:45 by the time we got the blood drawn and were able to eat something in the cafeteria. Then he even took us all out for ice cream to try to compensate for our misery. (And we still don't have that damn urine sample from Girl.)

I've said so much bad crap about my husband lately, I figure it's time I told you some good things about him. Here's more:

He's a brilliant programmer. His code is elegant and streamlined. Commercial programs today are so bloated and over-coded because programmers are lazy. They don't take the time to streamline and pare down their code to make things smaller and faster. You'd think they were paid per line of code or something. We'd have more room on our hard drives for mp3s, jpgs, and mpegs, if everyone's code was as elegant as his.

He volunteers his time and talents in the community. He is active in our church in youth programs and anti-poverty programs. He raises funds for several good causes through physical endeavors and other activities.

He makes creative and lovely stained glass windows (maybe all the lead cam has gotten to his head . . .). He can be very funny when he is relaxed and happy (and properly medicated). When he cares for someone, he will go all out. He is a great friend (often putting friends ahead of family ~sorry, had to get that snark out). He helps the neighbors and others when they need to move heavy stuff, get locked out of their homes, or have a car that won't start (not that he's any real help on that last one). He's trusting and gives people the benefit of the doubt (unless they are married or related to him). He doesn't lie well. He knows his snoring is really, really bad and has tried to do something about it.

He adores the children, even if he has to be reminded to demonstrate it to them. He is a good sailor. He can disassemble his motorcycle and re-assemble it in one afternoon and I would not hesitate to ride on it afterwards.

He believes that I have it in me to be a better person, he just doesn't know the right way to encourage that. He got us new mountain bikes this week, after I mentioned ONCE that I'd really like a new bike. New helmets too. Pretty cool. He figured out how to do most tasks regarding my mp3 player with linux, even though the manufacturer says it won't work with linux, and patiently explained them to me. He deleted my favorite game and seemed to actually feel bad about it (didn't realize I played it that often).

Before we were even married, he learned I had lied to him about something and he forgave me and still married me. This lie comes up again when we fight, but he's still here. He may throw it in my face, but he hasn't left me (yet).

Finally, he has a great looking ass. Seriously, it's near perfect, naked or in (be still my beating heart) Levi's. This is not just my opinion. Women I've asked who don't even like him agree that it is a damn fine ass. Every gay man I've ever asked agrees too.