My last post was not intended to set off any kind of debate. It merely was intended to reflect my own internal debate on whether my husband truly has no clue, senses what is happening and chooses to stick his head in the sand, or senses what is happening and just doesn't give a damn. ZigZagMan made a comment regarding the comments, however, that I feel I must address. He said:
All I can say is this whole debate makes me very sad. I'm not berated you or him Bunny Lass......thats your business, but to see cheerleaders is disturbing...........:)
To see cheerleaders disturbs me as well. I am in no way proud of what I have done (but will likely continue doing). While I don't exactly feel guilty, I have lost some self-respect. Adultery is something I have always abhorred and still do. I know it's wrong. So when people cheer me on, I feel, for lack of a better word, icky. To me it's like those people who encourage the guy on the ledge to jump - creepy and wrong.
I've been "called out" by a few people too and I greatly appreciate it. Any tendency to masochism aside, I need to be reminded that the path I've chosen is the wrong one. I'm still enjoying it too much to stop, but I truly appreciate being reminded that it's stupid, selfish, and goes against my own beliefs. The Christian Bible tells us to speak the truth in love. When my friends, online and real-world, do so, it is a good thing.
If you want to be happy that I'm "getting some," great, but let's not be too effusive about something that is still, at its core, wrong.
11 comments:
I meant no harm......but it was and is an honest opinion....:)
Take care my friend
I love the honesty in your blog....I have to go read more! *hugs*
Bunny - I'm glad you see the path is not the *right* one. However, it's wrong on a bunch of levels. I'm more worried about the fact that you're hanging out on this limb and you're living with someone who would probably love to pull the rug out from under you. He lives in a world of what's good for him is good for him, and not for you. He is acting under the guise of "taking care of his family" by taking all of the money out of the checking account. If my hunch is correct, he's harboring some old grudge against you and would love to be handed the fact that you're out screwing someone else.
I have a friend whose wife just walked out the door with his kids and won't let him see them. They're both in the wrong, but that doesn't matter. She's got the kids.
As you should know, possession is 9/10 of the law. Spousehole possesses the keys and I'm blown away that you're not fighting him for them.
Thanks... I'll get off my soapbox now.
Bunny - I understand where you are coming from so well. Been there, and am there, myself. I've asked myself the same questions you've asked. I've felt the same feelings you're feeling. I come from a similar Christian perspective. It's not right, yet it is what it is. It's there. It is a symptom of even bigger problems. Is the way he treats you the way a Christian husband should? If he did, would you be doing what you are doing? That is not an excuse of course, but it does explain some of why it happens.
I was glad to see this post.
What you did was wrong for your marriage. But, we all have desires that in one way or another we are going to fulfill. Been there.
C:)
Ironic...
About 7 years ago, in my previous marriage, you would have been exactly what I was looking for.
But back to the point of your post, I think I understand where you're coming from. I just want you to know that my comments will not come from a judgmental or sanctimonious stance.
The way I see it, I'm in no position to judge the actions of you or anyone else in blogville, nor will I attempt to act as your moral compass. My comments will most likely contain a lighthearted quip, or in some rare cases, words of encouragement.
I will never judge you by your post entries. It is my hope that you will show the same courtesy to my comments, but our future correspondences are not contingent on that because I really enjoy your writing.
I know how you feel. There are times on my own blog where I almost wish someone would let me have it in the comments. People are too nice.
finished last - I think you're onto something. I find it interesting in the blogosphere how much people will tell you what they think it is you want to hear. I have my relatively obscure blog because I want to evoke opinions on either side of the spectrum without someone thinking they're going to hurt my feelings. It doesn't seem to work that way.
you have an interesting perspective on the process of extra maritial affairs...
Im going to look for your address buddy. I really respect you for a lot of reasons...
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