Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Does it make me gay . . . ?

I was asked the question recently "Does it make me gay that I want things in my ass?"

The answer: No.

And to ward off any future questions:

Does it make you gay when you -

- eat quiche? NO

- want to touch my ass? NO

- want me to touch your ass? NO

- want to lick my ass? NO

- want me to lick your ass? NO

- want to put your fingers in my ass? NO

- want me to put my fingers in your ass? NO

- want to put your cock in my ass? NO

- want me to put toys in your ass? NO

- like wearing a pink shirt? NO

- how about a purple shirt? NO

- chartreuse shirt? maybe, but only because you said "chartreuse" and not green

None of these things make you gay. Want to know what makes a man gay? Here it is, once and for all:

It makes you gay if you are a man who prefers sex with men over sex with women and would choose a man for a life partner over a woman. That's it. That's what makes you gay. Notice I didn't say that you are gay if you enjoy sex with men. That's not it. It's PREFERRING sex with men over sex with women and PREFERRING a male life partner over a female life partner.

And what the fuck would be wrong with being gay anyway?

Okay, I'm done ranting now. Thank you for listening. Or reading. Or whatever.


Enyo said...

Ya know, I've heard this question a couple of times recently...and you said it perfectly. It seems like it's mostly men that wonder though...why don't girls ever think "damn I like my pussy licked....does that mean I'm lesbian??"


Edtime Stories said...

Awesome post...brilliant.

Jim said...

And having Zamphir and his pan flute on your iPod . . .

Not that there's anything wrong with it.


Charlie said...

bravo! and i love quiche. but im not a guy. so probably makes no odds!

sandy shoes said...

Excellent post. Love it.

Babushka said...

LOVED IT! I think that is the best explination of what "being gay" is if I have ever heard one! Thank you! I am sitting her smiling from ear to ear because it was just so true!

Chris said...

Fabulous post. It made me giggle. :)

Jon Galt said...

BWAHAHAHA!! Outstanding!

You rock.

Stephen Rader said...

Amen! Love this post! Preach it sister!!!! If it feels good, go for it. And if it doesn't, get a new partner! :)

The Broken Blogger said...

*applause* Wonderful post!

Sheen V said...

I didn't know "chartreuse" was green, lol!