Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Does it make me gay . . . ?

I was asked the question recently "Does it make me gay that I want things in my ass?"

The answer: No.

And to ward off any future questions:

Does it make you gay when you -

- eat quiche? NO

- want to touch my ass? NO

- want me to touch your ass? NO

- want to lick my ass? NO

- want me to lick your ass? NO

- want to put your fingers in my ass? NO

- want me to put my fingers in your ass? NO

- want to put your cock in my ass? NO

- want me to put toys in your ass? NO

- like wearing a pink shirt? NO

- how about a purple shirt? NO

- chartreuse shirt? maybe, but only because you said "chartreuse" and not green

None of these things make you gay. Want to know what makes a man gay? Here it is, once and for all:

It makes you gay if you are a man who prefers sex with men over sex with women and would choose a man for a life partner over a woman. That's it. That's what makes you gay. Notice I didn't say that you are gay if you enjoy sex with men. That's not it. It's PREFERRING sex with men over sex with women and PREFERRING a male life partner over a female life partner.

And what the fuck would be wrong with being gay anyway?

Okay, I'm done ranting now. Thank you for listening. Or reading. Or whatever.

11 comments:

Enyo said...

Ya know, I've heard this question a couple of times recently...and you said it perfectly. It seems like it's mostly men that wonder though...why don't girls ever think "damn I like my pussy licked....does that mean I'm lesbian??"

/sigh

Edtime Stories said...

Awesome post...brilliant.

Jim said...

And having Zamphir and his pan flute on your iPod . . .

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

XO

Charlie said...

bravo! and i love quiche. but im not a guy. so probably makes no odds!

sandy shoes said...

Excellent post. Love it.

Babushka said...

LOVED IT! I think that is the best explination of what "being gay" is if I have ever heard one! Thank you! I am sitting her smiling from ear to ear because it was just so true!

Chris said...

Fabulous post. It made me giggle. :)

Jon Galt said...

BWAHAHAHA!! Outstanding!

You rock.

Stephen Rader said...

Amen! Love this post! Preach it sister!!!! If it feels good, go for it. And if it doesn't, get a new partner! :)

The Broken Blogger said...

*applause* Wonderful post!

Sheen V said...

I didn't know "chartreuse" was green, lol!