Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

WTF Wednesday

WTF . . .

. . . was Eliot Spitzer thinking? When your image is that of a crusader for the rule of law and all that is considered "right," how can you think you'll get away with hiring a prostitute and wanting her to take you bareback? Hello?!? And to top it off, you pay for her to travel across state lines, in violation of the Mann Act, a federal law. Keep in mind, Spitzer made a lot of enemies as AG in NY. He stepped on a lot of federal toes in his investigations and prosecutions. These are not people to whom you want to give ammunition. Idiot.

. . . does testosterone do to the male brain that allows it to remember sports stats, WWII airplane details, and a ridiculous number of programming languages, but not that Wednesday is freaking garbage day, as it has been for the last 10 years? Or that you need to scrape off the dishes before putting them in the sink because we do not have a gosh darn garbage disposal in the house we have been living in for 10 years? Or that folded clothes in a basket are probably clean, so you should refrain from putting your dirty underwear and socks on top of them? Or that the children's bedtime is 8:30, therefore putting in a 90-minute movie at 8:15 is probably unwise?

. . . is Snoop Dogg doing driving a school bus? Because I'm pretty sure that's who my son's latest bus driver is. Or at least his long-lost twin brother. I don't know his name, so in my head he is Snoop. This morning he wanted to "axe" me something. He "axed" one of the teachers yesterday, but he wanted to "axe" me too. I was polite, but I wanted to scream "It's ASK, not axe!" I'm such a bitch.

. . . is the deal with men's fascination with lactation? Is this a fairly common fantasy/kink or do I just seem to find these guys? It doesn't bother me, but my girls are just for show. They didn't work as advertised when I had newborn children, they certainly don't function that way now. Nurse all you would like (no really - PLEASE), but nothing is going to happen besides me getting really turned on. Sorry.


Trueself said...

I am with you on the Spitzer thing. I don't care if he goes broke spending all his money on prostitutes. However, to put on the self-righteous act for the public and expect to have a private life that is in stark contrast to the public persona is disgusting.

she said...

wuss yo problem with axe sixter?

Anonymous said...

Spitzer - yep, he's a moron

testosterone - yeah, it can cause us to remember weird stats, but there are too many of us who remember to do our share of the household chores for that to be the problem.

Ebonics - is not a language

lactation - kind of gross, but if you are ever in town or nearby, I'll take you up on that nursing offer.

Anonymous said...

Sure, Spitzer is a power hungry maniac... but he's being run out of office the old fashioned way.


Edtime Stories said...

Spitzer was an idiot, on many levels, but I am surprised you indict all men here. Sexism is never pretty.

Anonymous said...

Testosterone forces us to remember the very important (read - to be discussed over a beer, having no relevance to survival or family) facts of life. If you need continuous scheduled activity; garbage; than you have to make it a competition or rewarded activity to keep it on our radar.

J/K - love the blog and hang in there!

ZigZagMan said...

LOLOL.....I can perhaps on this..

1) Elliot is an idiot...nuff said

2) Hubby suffers from not too much testosterone,,,,,but limited. Teenage girls are a temptation..but when thats all you look at with longing...other things slip.

3) Bed time is simple.....bed time regardless of movie, get your ass to bed....period.....I'm usually the bitch on this one..

4) Bad grammer from bus drivers is not only normal...but to be embraced. While anybody that puts shoes one and goes to work should be should be of note to your that what you want to do??

for the record.....we've had 2 garbage disposals in this house. I've found that much to my dismay, they do not digest glass.....steel...or mystery parts well......:)

The Troll said...

WTF 1: Good catch on the Mann Act.

WTF 2: No comment

WTF 3: There's a "tenured professor" at Syracuse who moonlights as a talking head. He talks like your bus driver.

WTF 4: Uhmmmm. Yuck!

D said...

1. i think we have found hilary's vp

2. as a guy that has some testosterone: i suck at sports stats, airplane parts scare me, guilty on the programming languages. i think testosterone should be blamed less for what it makes us remember and more for what it makes us forget. things like garbage day, kids bedtimes, birthdays and how wonderful of a woman we have living in our house.

3. zigzagman stole my thunder on this one.

4. men fascinated with lactation are to be avoided at all costs. can you say "oedipus complex"? run. run away. run away very fast. now as for the offer of boobies, i am more than willing to take you up on that any day but i can not be help responsible for my further actions.

Desmond Jones said...

Nothing much to say re Eliot Spitzer; he made his bed, now he has to lie in it.

But I can't help feeling bad for the wife in these situations (and there seem to have been a ton of them in recent weeks/months; Kwame Kilpatrick, Kobe Bryant, and a few others I can't think of off the top of my head). Hi-profile hubby gets caught doinkin' around, so wifey has to 'stand by his side', lookin' all 'supportive' for the tearful apology. Seems a tad demeaning, to my untrained eyes. . .

I posted once upon an age ago about lactation, and its 'erotic' side. For now, I'll just say that Molly's milk lightened my coffee on more than one occasion. . .

verite said...

I tried to sum up the disaster that was the Governor of NY, bottom line he snapped, the midlife crisis that hits all at once, as opposed to slowly over time, giving one a chance to adjust to unforgiving reality.

No it's not testosterone...I live with a scientist...same thing with the sink, ditto garbage day...but she's brilliant in the lab.

Names are fun...and as for milking breasts, c'mon, anything that gets juicy is fun...don't you like the part of us that squirts??

Blonde, Not Stupid said...

Spitzer? Total idiot.

Spousehole? Total idiot, but uses it to his advantage. It's that whole if he doesn't do it or does it poorly, he won't have to do it at all.

Snoop Dogg? Dunno. I think it's more of a cultural thing than him not knowing the difference.

Lactation? Don't know. Don't get that one, either.