Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

WTF Wednesday

WTF does this mean? Girl and I were at the grocery store yesterday, in the bakery section. Girl didn't want to leave, because she wanted cupcakes. The lady decorating cakes there decided to be helpful and offer a toy to distract Girl and get her back into her police-car-shaped cart. The lady says to me "Would your granddaughter like a princess ring?"

OMG, how old do I look? There's no gray in my hair (okay, it's dyed to keep the grays at bay, but still). I don't think I'm that wrinkled. I don't dress like a grandma, I don't think. I'm only 40. Wow.

Maybe she saw my mail sometime. See, the AARP has been bugging me about joining for the last couple years. I have no idea how I got on their mailing list. But I do know that they sell that list, because now I get all kinds of mail targeted to "seniors." Because being 40 isn't bad enough, I must be made to feel as though I am even fricking older!

When I was in middle school, someone told me that my grandma dropped something off at the office for me. I was confused, since my grandma was dead. Turned out it was my mother. She was 37 at the time. 37! But she refused (and still refuses, 30 years later) to dye her hair. She was about 50% gray at 37 (I get one or two gray hairs - I got Dad's hair). She's got beautiful smooth skin and gray hair. She gets mistaken for being younger now, because her skin doesn't show her age. (I only wish I had inherited her skin. I have a couple "worry lines" AND also I still have acne. Thanks Dad!)

Speaking of getting older, Spousehole turned 41 yesterday. I never mentioned his birthday all day and I could tell it was bugging him. A taste of his own medicine. (I'm such a child!) I did get him a cake (I couldn't be bothered to make a real one, so I got one at the store) and we sang happy b-day to him. When I brought out a candle to put on the cake was the first time he noticed the cake and he started smiling like "She remembered!" Asshole. He acts like it's no big, but then he gives away how much he really wanted me to remember.

He used his B&N gift card to go get a DVD we've both been wanting (Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow - we really liked it in the theatre). At least he didn't get some obscure anime that I would have no interest in.

Here's a shock:

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Midland

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.


The Inland North

The South

The Northeast

The West


North Central

What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz


Desmond Jones said...

Wow. Should I be worried that my b-day is only one day different from Spousehole's? (52, in case you were wondering). . .

One time when I was in HS, my dad was out of town on an extended trip, and I wound up going out to dinner w/ my mom, for some reason or other. All thru dinner, our waitress treated us like we were a couple, and at the end, she presented me with the check, to my total bewilderment. My mom about fell on the floor laughing, and said, "She's getting SUCH a tip for that!"

sandyshoes said...

I'm 40 too, and that exact thing happened to me at the grocery store with my Peanut. Deli section, though.

It made me cry, and I'm not a crier. Later I realized it wasn't so upsetting because I was thought to be older, but because I was thought NOT to be my little one's mother. There was something primally upsetting about that.

Consolation: Maybe everyone in Bakery/Deli Lady's family is a grandmother by the time they're 40, so it wasn't a knock on our looks, anyhow. Right?

for a different kind of girl said...

Your pain...I feel it!

And seriously, what's up with being 40 and waking up with a zit like it's the day of the prom?! One day, hopefully, I'll grow up. I just hope I've remembered to pick up my hair color at Target that day!

Val said...

yep -- TWICE at Wal-Mart, ONCE at our local Chinese restaurant, I was tagged as Z's grandma... Like Sandy, I think it's more the shock of not being recognized as your child's closest kin than age-ism. [oh hell yes, being labeled as older hurts too; I always thought I looked a little younger than my calendar age...]

Chuck said...

LOL Damn, you should've bitch slapped that woman right there in the grocery store! Grandma indeed! I'll be 40 in 9 months. Still not sure how I feel about that...

Hope Spousehole had a wonderful birthday....yeah, right.

My accent is pure southern baby!! You gotta love us Southern Gentlemen!

I Smile 2 Much said...

people are just LAME sometimes, that's my two cents without sounding too bratty about it. my guess? she's probably the same one who looks at the babygirl dressed in PINK and asks the mom, "so what's your little boy's name?" uh huh. THOSE kinds of smart people (LOL) ; )

its sad we're so blessed to live in a world with all sorts of intellects huh?! god- my sarcasm sucks today (LOL)

i need sex. thats my only excuse. but anyways. was just stopping by and wanted to say HI. ; )

oh. and i get break outs too and i'm thirty freakin four..... what the hell is up with that??!!

D said...

it is obvious that the witch at the store has never seen any of your hnt posts. those are not the breasts of a grandmother!!!!

don't feel bad. i'm 43 and i have been mistaken for granddad so many times i lost count. i just look at them as if i am a grandfather. you know the blank stare you get from old men when they think you are such a total idiot that you should be stomped to death. yeah that's the one.

and as for the acne thing, it could be worse. it could be a recurring case of hemorrhoids.

Trueself said...

Sigh. . . I feel your pain on the grandmother thing. Apparently I shouldn't have waited until 37 to have N as people always mistake me for Grandma. Bleah. . . Sometimes though I think (I hope) that it is because I am with W who definitely is old enough to be a grandpa, and actually is a grandpa with his first family. Yes, he has children older than me and grandchildren much older than N. We're nothing if not complicated.

I think spousehole should be mighty glad you recognized his birthday at all given the way he treats you.

Polt said...

AARP's sent me stuff too, and I just turned 40. I'm right there with ya, sister...with my cane or walker, but with ya nonetheless!


Sue said...

"North Central" is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw "Fargo" you probably didn't think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.

Absolutely NO surprise there, eh?


I'm glad Paul's birthday isn't until many moons after he leaves.

Vixen said...

Grandma?! *pffbbt* I don't think so!

I LOVE that birthday banner. LOLOLOL! Too funny.

Anonymous said...

Well, either your pictures (HNT and such) or a few years old, or you totally don't look like a grandmother.

Blonde, Not Stupid said...

Eww, boy... I don't think it has anything to do with your actual age. I suppose they assume that anyone out in the middle of the day with little ones must be the grandma because the mommy would have a job - or in the case of the idiot you met at Hell Hole the other night, she'd still be asleep from partying the night before. That's some kind of weird discrimination, huh?

Nothing new with Spousehole - once a dick always a dick. I wouldn't have gotten a cake, either. I'd have found a card from both the kids and left it at that. Ass.