Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Friday, November 23, 2007

I knew it wouldn't be easy . . .

I was aware that this weekend would likely not be all fun and games. We took the kids up to my in-laws today and left them for the weekend. Spousehole was all quiet and withdrawn the whole time we were there, kind of like he was yesterday with my family. We drove the hour and a half back to our house in near total silence, except for NPR news droning from the radio.

I asked if he wanted to see a movie together. No, nothing appeals to him. I asked if he wanted to go out to dinner. No, he isn't hungry. I asked if he wanted to watch something on DVD. Maybe later. I asked if he wanted to go blow some cash at the arcade (only his favorite thing in the world!). Maybe later.

Apparently he's too depressed to want to do anything. I guess I don't want him exactly doing cartwheels over our impending separation, but I'd like to at least be able to interact as friends during this time. He says he wants that too, but right now he's just too depressed to have fun. He points out every now and again that he doesn't want to separate, even though he agreed last weekend that it's for the best. Basically putting it all on me. So now his depression is my fault too.

If I had someplace to go, I would leave for the weekend and let him be depressed alone. But if I go to my family, they'll want to talk about it. They always want to talk about things. Sometimes that's great, but sometimes I just want to have fun and specifically NOT talk about things.

Anyone within a couple hours of Grand Rapids want to go out and have some fun this weekend? Seriously. IM me or call me if you have my cell. He's just dragging me down and I don't want to end up depressed myself.

9 comments:

Edtime Stories said...

Well I hope that you find some way to be happy....huggggggggggg

wisdomstuff said...

Just don't let him rub guilt off on you. I have had almost a year of that and they'll keep doing it whether they think they are getting anywhere or not. Pretend you are teflon.

Vixen said...

I wish I did.

I know what you are talking about. It was an interesting scenerio when my ex and I split. I was over him. Nail in the coffin. I finally had the guts to get him to leave and he moped and made me feel badly and kept asking for me to come back/promising to do more to make it work this time......

I set him up on Match.com :) Gave him something to do.

Haha...

Well. Hang in there. I hope your wkend is ok despite the mopiness.

Renee said...

Hang tough, B. Don't let him bring you down. You know that's what he's wanting, right? And to make you feel guilty for his feelings too. PHHBBBTTT!!!! The best defense is to not react negatively to his moping.

(((HUGS)))

Renee

Polt said...

Well, I'm a few states away from Grand Rapids, is that close enough?

HUGS, sweetie. I wish I could do or say more...

Sue said...

I am not surprised by his behavior at all. I don't know him, but my ex tried the depression route just for sympathy. And when that didn't work, he was out dating. But since yours has had this issue before, maybe it really is affecting him.

*shrugs*

Times like this it sucks that I live in the Yoop.

Dates Bubbas said...

My ex used to like to use depression and threats of suicide for attention. Spousehole probably is somewhat depressed - he didn't expect you to stop taking his crap. However, don't let him jerk your chain too hard.

Wish I were up there - I'd go out with you to get you away from all that. I wish I could do or say more, too.

searabbit said...

Bunny, I wish you could go to your family... I am not the closest person to my mom, far from that, but when I took the decision to leave my husband, it is her who stood beside me, almost asking why I had waited for so long...
She didn't wish it, for sure, but she was pretty conscious of me not being happy... and she understood quite well why... and, I didn't expect her to be the way she was... she surprised me a great deal... but hey... she only wanted me to be happy at any cost...
I wish you could get the same support from your family... for her while, they were the only one I could talk to about my separation... at the point that my brother was so fed up with me he could have cried from being annoyed... ;-))
Maybe you should have a try... even more if you have no close friend around... if ever you have to leave fast, they could be there for you...

Blue said...

Believe me, if I lived in the area, I'd have made contact. But I'm way the hell down South.