Spousehole was angry at me again today. No great shock there. I was trying to get the Girl down for her nap and fell asleep myself. (Apparently I'm not allowed to sleep in the middle of the day unless I have a verifiable illness.) As he has done on countless previous occasions, to express his anger he took off his wedding ring and threw it at me. (Hit me right in the back of the head this time. Video games make for great eye-hand coordination.) Refused to take it back.
Being oh-so-mature myself, I took mine off too. Now it's a standoff. Who will put their ring back on first? (It's really not much of a contest, however. I always put mine back on first. I feel naked without it. I twirl it when I'm nervous or bored and it drives me crazy not having it.) He's gone as long as 3 months without it, usually putting it back on if I cry and beg (not gonna happen this time) or if we are going to be around someone he feels the need to "pose" for and make it seem as if everything is hunky-dory.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Standoff
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15 comments:
be strong
good luck.
js
Screw the stand off Bunny ... you two need to sit down with someone and hash this out. If it means going your seperate ways, so be it.
NO ONE DESERVES to be neglected in a relationship.
His preference for porn and his fawning over teenage girls, and now this ... counselling my dear - counselling ...
If it doesn't work - get a lawyer.
He has intimacy AND control issues - that much is clear even from a distance.
Ask yourself a simple question - do you want your daughter to end up in an unsatisfying, unrewarding relationship like the one you are in ??? If the answer is NO ... get help and get it now. Start tomorrow by asking your Pastor for an appointment to talk about resources available for your family crisis - invite Spouse-hole to come along ... it puts the onus on him ...
Look after you, and run if you have to ... you deserve no less.
-anonymous pastor
Whoa... sorry, he sounds like an *sshole!
That brings home a LOT of memories. Within a few years of being married the ex would do the same thing ... well I'll not be married to you any longer, I'll go to the bar in town and pick up any guy I can ... and heave the ring across the room. I would cry and beg for weeks to have her put it back on and eventually she would, probably because she was tired of listening to me. We remained married for way too long (a total of 17 years) and much of it was a sham.
Good luck Bunny and keep your eyes open. Don't stay for the sake of your child(ren) ... as they get older they see what is going on no matter how hard you try to hide it, and thay hear as well. They know what's going on and it is not comfortable for them. I left when they were 9 and 12 and my relationship with them, 4 years later, is a lot better than it ever was when we all lived in the same house.
spousehole...that sounds like it minght be too much of a compliment.
Doesn't sound like a happy situation. Sad to hear it.
Ditto everything Anon pastor said. he needs to be called on this childish behavior.
Everything anonymous pastor says is excellent advice. Please take it seriously.
Based on what you've posted, you are in an abusive relationship. Period. Don't let your children watch you put up with it.
Don't put your ring back on. Put on a different ring to fidget with, on a different finger. Hide your diamond so you can sell it after you realize that you should have left this asshole a long time ago.
I think you really should consider a different ring. This man doesn't deserve you.
(found you via hnt)
i was going to say just what anonymous said.
make plans to get out. protect yourself. today he throws the ring at you...what will he throw next?
be careful, he is unhappy, insecure and prone to violence. this will only escalate.
Because I also live with an a "spousehole".....I just have this for you {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}. I am so sorry you have to go through crap like this.
For this one.......I truly lack words friend.......
Oh buddy. Im so sorry. I know its an extremely complicated situation but that does not make it suck any less. I love the wearing a different ring to fiddle with idea. Once he sees you wont play the game with him anymore, don't be surprised if it changes the dynamic completely. Good luck friend.
Aww, I agree with Bunny
not that I would ever be an expert on relationship,
takes two to make one healthy
alot of work though
sigh
a professional might be the answer
good luck with this
and if you learn any good tips
let us all know
always could learn something new!!
You know Bunny, Once you get to reading about this train wreck, the more you get sucked in. Even though you've got a pic of that very wretched Joe Liberman on your side bar. (Geez, what an ass!). But I've got to say, the anon pastor has a point. (Something I think I've never said in real life).
This "His preference for porn and his fawning over teenage girls", is not worries me. That's like almost every other guy you'll meet on the street. It's the out bursts like this one, the uncontrolled anger, rage & resentment. Just a real toxic environment for anything to survive. It's not going to last, but I hope you can make good on whatever is keeping you in place. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'
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