Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Apparently I'm NOT Alone

Wow. I've discovered that I'm not alone in not getting enough sex from my husband. Well, I guess I always knew that, but I sometimes felt like a hypersexual slut. I'm not a shout-it-from-rooftops-type Christian, but I am one. Extremely liberal and a member of a liberal congregation of a mainstream Protestant church, but a Christian nonetheless. A good Christian woman shouldn't feel this way, right?

Recently I came across this article. Now please understand: I rarely have anything good to say about James Dobson or his Focus on the Family group. But this article on their website actually addresses the "rejected wife" from a Christian POV and makes some sense. DO NOT take this as any sort of endorsement of Focus on the Family in general. It's just this one article I like. A quote that really hit home for me:
"Only a woman who has been rejected knows the humiliation, the rage, the feeling of helplessness." And another: "I feel so vulnerable. I'm an affair waiting to happen."
There is some crap too, such as "Your husband doesn't have authority over his body — you do." That's incredible bullshit. But otherwise there's some useful stuff there.

Then again, maybe I'm just addicted to semen. Hey - its a scientific study. Can't argue with science! Thanks Debbie!

And now, something fun:

8 comments:

Edtime Stories said...

I know lots of women in that situation. Sadly.
Not a fan of Focus on the Family...but anyone can inspire.

So it is an addiction eh? There has to be a witty comment but I got nothing.

crse said...

You know, Im not a Dobson, or focus on the family fan either but I've occasionally found points I agree with in his stuff. It's a sick joke that men hit their sexual peak at 17 and we don't hit ours until the mid 30s.

Its reassuring to see that you got hitler. Makes me feel a lot better about hussein!

JeannieGrrl said...

I wish I was healthy enough to want it all the time lol maybe then my home would be a bit more peaceful or at least too exhausted to complain...

jsul28fl@yaho said...

it is so odd to me to har about any woman that wants sex can't get it 'specially if shes married. I mean wtf?? Do you ask for it and he turns it down???
I mean what does he say??? no baby i dont wanna shot of leg tonight? Id surely hate it if you rode me until we were both satisfied? Im tird. I have a headache.
for the love of God!
(or Darwin if your a Democrat)
what is the world coming to when men turn sex down, ever, no i mean ever.
js

crse said...

I just want to add buddy that this is way more common than you think (you know i work in mental health. i know these things) If I could just make all the women I know with this problem understand that ITS REALLY NOT YOU ITS HIM!!!! I think the world would be a better place. Women dont realize how much ego is invested into sex for men. I never had any idea until they started disclosing to a "safe objective party" Most of them would rather die than admit they were afraid of not satisfying their women. No matter how indifferent they seem. And most of them would rather not try at all than to risk that blow to the ego...

Dirty Debbie said...

Yep, me too. I don't mention it much in my blog but it's the same for me.
The rejection kills me because I consider sex/love-making a form of expression for me. I live in a half fantasy life I guess, most of it through my blog and chatting. I'm not cheating, but I'm not sure he isn't. And so it goes....

Bunny said...

It really does amaze me how many women are in this sorry state.
Jsul28sl: Mostly he avoids me by playing Halo or Starcraft until I'm fast asleep. Other times, he just says no. A new "friend" I've met keeps saying "He turns this down? He's insane." That helps my self-esteem immensely.
Crse: I do think performance anxiety is an issue and has been since he got a vasectomy two years ago. I've tried to reassure him and encouraged him to discuss some issues with his M.D., but he'd rather just pretend that I'm the one with the overactive sex drive.

The "Mind" said...

You are most definitely not alone. I'm in my second time of dealing with this; it happened with exhole (my ex-husband) and now with the guy I've been living with for the past 8 years. I just don't understand it.