Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

No Score and Seven Years Ago . . .

We had been told before we got married that we would not likely be able to have kids, at least not without medical intervention. We were okay with that and planned our blissfully child-free existence. First anniversary, May 2000, we took a trip to the U.P. and do a whole lot of what people who have only been married a year and don't have any kids do. Within a few weeks, I knew something was different. I took a pregnancy test, just to rule that out. After all, I was on the pill and the doctors said I couldn't get pregnant anyway. When it was positive, I took another. A couple more trips to the drugstore and I had tried every "pee stick" they sell. Holy guacamole - I was gonna be a mom!

Husband took it quite well, shouting the news from the rooftops as soon as the doctor's office confirmed that those E.P.T. people know what they're talking about (and the First Response folks, and the store brand, . . . .) And then I started puking. Many times a day. For 7 months. That's right, SEVEN MONTHS. I barfed from June 2000 through December 2000. I carried a Super Big Gulp cup wherever I went in case there was no other place to, um, you know. I was hospitalized several times for dehydration. Oh, and did I mention that I'm diabetic? Oh yeah, not just gestational, but full-blown 24/7/365 diabetes. Throwing up everything you eat wreaks havoc on the blood sugar, as if pregnancy alone wasn't doing that anyway. Joy. Fortunately, I found a wonderful high-risk OB practice. Husband-and-wife OBs board-certified in maternal-fetal medicine. They took great care of me, harassing me into faxing my blood sugars (taken 7 times per day) 3x per week so they could adjust my insulin accordingly.

By 37 weeks, I was ready for it to be over. I was scheduled for an induction at 38 weeks, 1 day. The induction did not go well. I developed a raging infection (probably started when my water was broken) and the baby kept having problems maintaining his heartbeat. Spousehole remembers very little of this, because he slept almost the entire time in a recliner. The nurse had to wake him up and tell him to pay some attention to his laboring wife. After I had been pushing for 2 hours (19 hours after starting labor), the baby's heart would stop completely during every push or contraction. Time for a c-section!

They wheeled me to an O.R., whacked me open and pulled the baby out. Turned out that the cord was wrapped around his neck. Twice. So every push or contraction pulled it tighter and cut off oxygen to his brain. He was blue, limp as wet spaghetti, and had no heartbeat or respiration. That's an initial Apgar of 0, for those keeping score at home. They bagged him and did chest compressions and he finally pinked up and gave a weak little cry. Off to Neonatal Intensive Care he went! With his Daddy in tow, leaving me alone to cry and vomit as the docs sewed and stapled me back together. It was 5:06 a.m., January 12, 2001.


16 hours elapsed before I saw my baby again. I had that raging infection and was really weak, so they wouldn't let me go to the NICU to see him. And NICU babies can't leave to visit mommy. One nice nurse took Polaroids and gave them to me, but it wasn't the same. Boy had his Daddy, which was good for him, but not so good for me. There was a snowstorm, so my family didn't come to be with me and I was so sick the hospital restricted visitors to family and clergy. It never occurred to Spousehole to walk around the corner and down the hall to visit his wife. Seriously, I saw him ONCE in that 16-hr period. I finally threatened to pull out all the IV tubes and crawl to the NICU, so the nurses relented. They helped me into a wheelchair and hooked my IVs and PCA up for travel. When we got to the NICU, one of the nurses reamed my husband out for leaving me alone and scared all day. Yay nurse!

Short story long, Boy recovered but had some developmental delays. By 13 months, I suspected he was autistic. (He had begun speaking, then just stopped. Classic.) He didn't walk until 19 months and was absolutely fascinated with wheels, fans, or anything else that spins. He was in special ed by 17 months and "officially" diagnosed at 22 months.

Today my little boy is 7 years old. He attends mainstream kindergarten part of the day and is in an autism classroom the rest of the day. He reads and writes well above kindergarten level, but is hampered socially by his autism. He is obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine and Polar Express. He's a funny, goofy kid. Happy Birthday, baby boy!

23 comments:

Factor 10 said...

He's beautiful!

Sailor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sailor said...

I second factor, he's beautiful.

Sounds like an awful pregnancy/delivery, but what a great result. I don't know enough about autism to fully appreciate what you deal with daily, but I know enough to be impressed with the moms that care for and love their children, no matter what.

That unconditional love, is what makes the world go round, and I bet you're an awesome mom.

George said...

Happy Birthday to a really good looking dude. No wonder you're so proud.

TUG said...

Happy birthday little man!

It looks like you've done a great job raising him.

Naughty K said...

What a beautiful and wonderful little guy.... Give him a big birthday kiss for me.

Vixen said...

*wipes tear from eye*

He sounds amazing. Happy Birthday to your little guy.


xo

terry said...

what a cutie!

Phyllis Renée said...

Happy Birthday, cutie!

absenceofsameness said...

Happy Birthday little dude! What a story!

Trueself said...

Happy birthday to your Boy! He is adorably cute.

MizMouthy said...

Whatta cutie!

Today is my brother's birthday.

My son's birthday is in 2 days. He is PDD and I had a similar birth experience with him...not quite as dramatic..I would be interested to talk to you about it...Did they give you Pitocin when they induced you? I have a theory regarding Pitocin...
Do you still have my email address?

Congrats to you and Happy Birthday to your beautiful miracle boy!

The Troll said...

Happy Birthday, Little Man! "With love, with patience and with faiiiithhhhhh...."

Those are song lyrics in quotations. Natalie Merchant? Something like that.

Trueself said...

Hey Bunny, just dropping back by to tag you for a meme. C'mon over to my blog and check it out.

Flat Coke and Flies said...

WOW! What an incredible story of hope and fear and celebration all in one. I'm so glad everything turned out ok, and you've got a handsome little fellow to love.

blondenotstupid said...

Happy Birthday, Buddy!! Hope you have a great one!!

sandyshoes said...

What a story!

Happy birthday, little man!

BlueBella said...

Wow - what a story for such a special little man - Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

Chelle said...

Happy Birthday to your boy!! :)

A. Secret said...

Happy birthday from one Capricorn to another!
XX

Loving Annie said...

Happy 7th birthday to your boy, Bunny !

That was a harrowing story. My heart goes out to you.

He's a cute kid, and I'm glad that he is in mainstream kindergarden and classess afterwards for autism, and reads and writes well. He is clearly very loved !

TK Kerouac said...

He's a treasure!


Bunny

I'm making a new HNT link list

and I'll be linking you

my blogs are
tkkerouac.blogspot.com (private)
tkcensored.blogspot.com (new)
tkfinderskeepers.blogspot.com

link me if you wish

Sue said...

Aww, Happy Birthday to your little man. He's so handsome, Bunny!