Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Wednesday Weirdness

1.) You just bought a snazzy new leather jacket for an awesome price at the local outlet shop. When you got it home you found $2000 (cash) in the jacket's inner pocket. What are you going to do?

If I got it somewhere that the previous owner would be traceable (like a consignment shop), I would contact the store and ask them to have the previous owner contact me because I found something in the jacket that they might want back.

If it was someplace where stuff was donated anonymously, the cash is mine and I heading out to get leather chaps to match the jacket.

If it was a retail shop and the jacket was new, then I have no idea how the cash got there and I'm keeping it and heading out to find those chaps.

2.) If you could change or eliminate one wedding tradition, what would it be? What is your favorite wedding tradition?

As I'm sure many would say, I'm all about getting rid of the cake-face smashing thing. We did not do that at our wedding and I'm very glad. It's childish and stupid. What a disrespectful way to start a life with someone.

My favorite wedding tradition is the toasts. At our wedding they made me cry and cry and cry.

3.)If you were on Gilligan’s Island, who would you want to share your hut with? Who would you consider it torture to have to share a hut with?

I would want to share my hut with MaryAnn and the Professor for nightly threesomes. Also I think they would be most likely to keep the place clean and neat. I would kill Ginger if I had to share a hut with her. I hate vain, prissy chicks.

4.) Have you ever called your current significant other by another name at any point? What happened?

No. He, on the other hand, calls me by the wrong name on a regular basis. He has introduced me as Melissa or as Melanie on several occasions (that was in the first year or two of our relationship). Generally that happens when he is nervous about introducing me to the person involved. When we fight he sometimes calls me by his sister's name. Apparently he fought with her so much growing up that it just comes out. Lovely.

5.) If you were going to be famous under a stage name, what would you pick your stage name to be? Why? What do you want to be famous doing?

Randi Rabbit, of course! I would be famous for my slow, seductive strip tease. Either that or I would be a comedian with a really raunchy act, kind of like Sarah Silverman.

6.) During sex, do you ever fantasize about someone other than your partner?

Duh - all the time.

7.) Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?

Too loud is definitely worse. I have enough going on in my head to fill quiet spaces, but loud is just distracting and makes conversation difficult.

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy


Anonymous said...

I also despise the wedding cake thing! Good answer.

garbonzo said...

That is a tough one. Which one to get rid of? Which is your favorite? I would marry Emmy again in an instant, but I would NEVER have another wedding. They are too stressful. But, I sure love going to other people's weddings!

Desmond Jones said...

One time my son and I found a wad of cash laying on the ground outside a convenience store. We pocketed it, and told the clerk that we'd found some money (without saying how much; it was a bit of an odd amount), and if anyone came by asking about it, we gave him our number to have them call.

We got home, and the asshole clerk called us three times trying to guess the amount (which, gratifyingly, he couldn't). Finally, after about a half-hour, a woman called us, saying she'd dropped her rent money, and quoted the correct amount. Which was a definite feel-good moment for us. . .

Molly and I had an organic carrot cake for our wedding (hey, it was barely out of the 70s), and we dutifully froze the top layer for our first anni. What a waste of what had been a pretty good cake!

Trueself said...

I totally agree on the wedding cake smashing. If I were to marry someone, and then he did that to me at the reception, the annulment papers would be in the works the very next day.

I am surprised by your Gilligan's Island choices, but only because I thought I was the only person that would choose those particular people for those particular reasons. I like how you think!

G-Man said...

The proffessor was gay!!
You'd be better off with Thurston and Lovey if you wanted a threesome!!
Silly Bunny.....

Tom Allen said...

As I'm sure many would say, I'm all about getting rid of the cake-face smashing thing. [...]It's childish and stupid. What a disrespectful way to start a life with someone.

I really hate that. And when the hell did it become a tradition, anyway? Jeez, the Weekly Odd news has several stories a month about new couples getting into fights because somebody thought it would be funny. Sheesh.

The other thing that I hate are "dollar dances," in which the guests pay a dollar (nowadays it's more like 5 or 10) to dance for 30 seconds with the new bride. I've heard of some receptions in which the money is actually pinned on her. I understand that it was a tradition in poorer communities, but c'mon, can't we move beyond treating the bride like a hooker?

Bunny said...

Amen brother Tom, amen! My Polish friends claim it's a Polish tradition, my Catholic friends claim it's a Catholic thing - whoever started it needs to stop it, right now!! It just seems like money-grubbing tackiness. That and the brides and grooms who ask for cash toward the down payment on a home or toward their honeymoon. Just tacky. We had no "dollar dance" and didn't want cash toward anything. We didn't even really want gifts, we just wanted our friends and family to share our day with us. Apparently that's becoming more and more rare. :-(

Slick said...

Ssshhhh...when mine and Trisha's relationship was still fairly new, I would call her by my ex wife's name sometimes.

That never went over well...

The Troll said...

Barbaric and strange customs you humans have. I've never even HEARD of cake-smashing or hooker-bride. I WISH I'd never heard of the Hokey-Pokey song/dance.

Macabre Girl said...

Cake smashing? That would have to go!

Fantastic responses. Thank you for playing!

Tulipsanticipation said...

My husband and I opted not to do the cake smashing as well, it just seems like a good way to start the marriage off with bitterness.
The toast made by my sister, however, was a highlight. She wrote this cute little poem about growing up together as sisters, both funny and emotional. Made everyone laugh when she talked about my side of the room being perfectly clean, and hers a disaster area.

Cece said...

I love the Q&A type posts! I'd keep the cash, too, and go purse shopping! hehehe