Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Wednesday Mind Wanderings; Nutella vs. Poop

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

This seems to be pretty accurate. I was a very good lawyer - I just hated it with every fiber of my being after a while. But writing was always my forte - I wrote briefs for others all the time, particularly appellate, and was great at editing others' work. (My favorite part of being on law review was the editing - I was really good at it. My knowledge of the style book amazed others. My moot court briefs were pretty darn good too.) My 1.5 year foray into journalism (local TV news associate producer - consumer beat) was successful and I actually enjoyed it (it just doesn't pay beans and when Boy was born I needed to stay home with him). There I wrote and edited stories very well and enjoyed interviewing people on camera for stories.

Hopefully now that I'm 40 I can figure out what I really want to be when I grow up.
Particularly if I am going to get out of this marriage - I really want to be gainfully employed before I do anything like that. If I decide to end it, that is. Another area where I don't know what I want. Great. I've become the type of person I usually can't stand - indecisive, flip-flopping, unable to pull herself out of a downward spiral. I'm maxed out on my dosage of anti-depressants (ie., "maximum therapeutic dose"), so more drugs are not likely the answer. Getting my shit together is the answer - I just have to figure out how to do that.

Enough with the sturm and drang!

The "Is it Nutella or Poop?" dilemma:

I got out of the shower today and saw dark, three-dimensional handprints on the wall. I didn't have my glasses on or contacts in and wasn't sure what I was seeing. The split-second monologue in my head:

"Well, it's probably either Nutella or poop. I hope it's Nutella - I don't want to clean up poop. Boy went through a poop-smearing stage several years ago and that was just disgusting. No, Nutella would be much better. But wait. Maybe it would be better if it WAS poop. Because if it isn't poop, that means someone's been in my Nutella. Their nasty, filthy little hands in my beloved Nutella. What a horrible waste of Nutella. And Nutella's not cheap, even at Costco. Yeah, I think I'd rather have it be poop than my sweet, chocolately, hazelnutty Nutella. But poop is so gross . . . "

It was Nutella. Which is a good thing, since I found the 2-year-old licking it off her fingers. Don't want to contemplate the alternative . . . . And I have a whole other, unopened jar of Nutella hidden on the top shelf of the pantry.
Shhhh - don't tell the children.

Recently read:
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. A short novel about an autistic teenager and his investigation into the death of a neighbor's dog. He uncovers far more than he bargained for and must deal with the emotional consequences. A very interesting look at the world from the point of view of an autistic protagonist. I enjoyed this book, though as a mother parts of it were heart-wrenching. Recommend.

Blackwater: The Rise of the World's Most Powerful Mercenary Army by Jeremy Scahill. Scahill takes an in-depth look at Blackwater USA, one of the largest defense contractors in Iraq, a commercial operation acting on behalf of our defense department and other clients. Scary, scary, scary. I was drawn into this book for two reasons: my intense unhappiness with our country's actions in Iraq and the fact that I knew Erik Prince, a founder of Blackwater, back in the day. (Hey Erik - remember the W.O. girl from the custard shop who refused to date spoiled blonde H.C. boys no matter how much they flaunted their daddy's money? Yep, it's me and I still don't like you! Even "northside whores" have standards.) Remember the 4 U.S. contractors killed in Fallujah, their bodies dragged through the streets and hung on a bridge by gleeful Iraqis? They were Blackwater contractors. A very interesting book. Highly recommend.

Currently reading:

Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford

What are you reading currently? What have you read recently?
Tell me in the comments or an email.


Jim said...

Lol . . . total "guy" moment, but Nutella vs. Poop and the uncertainty and trauma of deciding which one made me instantly think of that scene in "Caddyshack," in which Bill Murray is sent into the drained swimming pool to remove what everyone believes is poop, but turns out to be a candy bar. He picks it up, sniffs it, and takes a bite, and a woman faints . . . lol. Classic.


ArtfulSub said...

Neat blogthing. I was in the same category as you. Guess it fits.

Anonymous said...

I'd think I would have preferred Nutella to poop.

I just finished HP7 about a week ago and am currently reading Jodi Picoult's Nineteen Minutes.

Ron Burgundy said...

Exact same on the dominant intelligence - of course I'm an English major....

Nutella is to poop as Fanta Orange is to lousy Orange and the same.

Vixen said...

I am just LOL at your thought process regarding whether it was poop or nutella. *snort*

sandy shoes said...

I got "linguistic intelligence," too. Bad scientist, bad. Wrong career... can I have a do-over?

Oooh, I've read that St. Vincent Millay bio. Found it well-written and very interesting, as I didn't know much about her before.

Reading: I just finished Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons" (on tape in the car) -- recommended for pure fluff despite often clumsy writing, and Jodi Picoult's "Nineteen Minutes" -- recommended for emotion and thought-provoking, despite forgivable oversimplification. Am currently slogging through Claire Messud's "The Emperor's Children." Not recommended due to its cast of whiny self-absorbed adult brat characters. And I'm a few chapters from the end of HP7...

crse said...

You are right friend. Our children are destined to get married. We've had this same dilemma of poop/chocolate spotting here! I will say you are better than me because no grubby hands can taint the cleansing healing power of nutella for me!

Loving Annie said...

Nothing paricularly scholar-worthy, but I am enjoying Sab=nda Brown's latest !

Whatever your passion is, is where your next career should take you...

VJ said...

Catching up here B, I've always liked Edna St. Vincent Millay's poetry. But the deal on Backwater & their entire ultra corrupt deal in Iraq (& elsewhere) is a crime, and how they screwed those left behind (about 25 of their 'contractors' KIA over there so far) is just a crying shame and deserves to be investigated. They're just another part of 'disaster capitalism', [see Naomi Klein's 'The Shock Doctrine' in Harper's this month and here: [,,2159184,00.html].

But I suspect literary intelligence too, even if though I'm not now or have ever been an English major. Never took it in college actually. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'

Dates Bubbas said...

Indecision is the hallmark of the about 40 age. I say "about" because it starts a couple of years before and lasts up to a couple of years after. When you realize that you've got about half your life left to live and dammit anyway, you're not going to waste it being unhappy is when you'll figure out what you want and go get it. It's also that time of your life when you no longer have time for the mind games anymore.