Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

WTF Wednesday, a Valuable Sex Toy PSA, and a Picture of my Pussy

WTF is with my public school's privatized transportation company? Their spokesbitch was on the news last night raving about how wonderfully the first day went, the buses ran on time, there were no glitches, and it was all because they ran these routes for a month to make sure they had them down and planned for traffic conditions, etc.

Lying bitch. My son's bus was more than 30 minutes late picking him up yesterday. When I called Dickhead Transportation to find out what was up, at first I couldn't even get through. When I finally got a very harried-sounding operator, she sent me to voicemail hell. I called back, got another very harried operator who explained that all the buses were late, it was a crazy, crazy morning. Yet their spokesbitch says "there were no glitches." Whatever.

So today the bus wasn't late. It just never showed up at all. We went outside five minutes before the bus is scheduled to arrive (8:22) and were still out there at 9:10 when the dispatcher got hold of the bus driver, who claims she was at my house at 8:30. Bullshit. Both kids and I were outside that whole time. No bus. So they sent a different bus to pick up just Boy and take him all the way to his school (20 minutes away.) They found us yesterday, but couldn't today? WTF?

So I call Spousehole and he tries to find a way that this is my fault (because everything is my fault). "Maybe the bus came and you just didn't see it." Yeah, because I could easily miss a big bright yellow bus on our tiny narrow street with diesel engines rumbling away while the kids and I stand on the sidewalk only feet away. Because I'm just that inattentive. And the kids too. The bus-obsessed children who scream "schoo bus! schoo bus!" in the car whenever they get a glimpse of a bus. Yeah, they missed it too. WTF?

Why didn't I just drive him, you ask? Mommyvan is in the shop - needs new plugs, wires, and coil box. It was misfiring this weekend, so I took it in for plugs and wires. Then they tell me it also needs a coil box (coil/distributor assembly) and will cost over $780. Holy crap. $331 labor, $45 for the plugs, $178 for the wires, $191 for the coil box, and so on. Remember when you could buy plugs and wires for about $30 and change them yourself in 30 minutes, including gapping all 6 plugs? WTF? And Spousehole's vehicle is leaking fuel so it's really not safe to drive (I would if it were just me, but not with the kids). Plus Girl's car seat is in Mommyvan, which I thought I would be getting back pretty quickly.As predicted, Spousehole attempted to use these vehicular set-backs as a reason to cancel my birthday trip. But the in-laws came to the rescue! They are loaning us one of their cars (mine will be back, but we don't trust it right now) for the trip and providing fundage as a gift to me. The car they are loaning us is one they get for free anyhow, they don't care what happens to it - lol. My FIL is retired from an American auto manufacturer. He (or his widow when he dies) gets a new car each year from the company that is registered to the company, insured by the company, maintained by the company, etc. All they do is buy gas and take it to the car wash occasionally. Each November, they turn it in and take possession of a new car. They get to order the cars direct from the factory, with whatever options, colors, etc. they want. It's a sweet deal if you can get it.
WTF is with my daughter? Like Hermione with the house elves, Girl is on a crusade; a crusade to free the liquids. Apparently, Mommy, the inhumane bitch, insists on confining poor, oppressed liquids in cups, glasses, bottles, cans, cartons, etc., when all peace-loving peoples know the liquids MUST BE SET FREE. Soy milk in a cup? Dump it on the floor, so it can be free! Lemonade in a glass? If you've foolishly sipped some into your mouth, SPIT IT OUT SO IT CAN BE FREE! Mommy's bottle of Diet Coke? It may not have been born free, but it deserves to taste freedom as well - let it free into its natural habitat (apparently, the dining room floor). Water in the bathtub? Set it free, one bucket at a time, onto the bathroom floor! FREE THE LIQUIDS!!

And now we interrupt our regularly scheduled ranting for this sex-toy related PSA:


And now, Maestro, a drumroll please . . . the long-awaited, oft-promised but never delivered pussy picture:



Notice the cleft in his front left paw. His name is Thomas, but we often call him by his Sopranos name, Tommy Two-Toes. At 25 lbs, he still outweighs my younger human child.

15 comments:

sandy shoes said...

What a day! Hang in there Bunny. I hope the bus co. gets its act together soon.

If you're angry enough, fire off a letter to the TV station that broadcast the lying bitch saying all went well. And the local paper. CC the school board.

craig andrew said...

Oddly, I noticed that the same exact bus problems were happening here. the first day the routes were all screwed up and they said everything was perfect, then the next day they said the route problems were a computer glitch, but they fixed it so everything should be fine, but a lot of the buses didn't show up or were late.

It's my conspiracy theory is that THEY are trying to piss people off. There is really no other reason why they would let a plane full of passengers sit on the tarmac for nine hours. Forgot about it my ass. Simple behavioral conditioning to get us to accept the fact that we have no control...

Yeah, I know that it's a crackpot theory, but what the hell... at least the fluids are free C;)

Lolly said...

Writing a letter always works for me ;)

ArtfulSub said...

The cost of ridiculous perks to RETIRED Auto-Company personnel exceeds the cost of ALL the parts needed to manufacture a car.

Jim said...

To rant is human . . . and, in this case, very justified.

My son's bus was so packed by the time it arrived, with three kids to a seat already, that they had to squat in the aisle all the way over there.

What . . . you guys didn't think they were all coming to school or something? School bus companies don't seem to be run by the sharpest tools in the shed.

XO

Kiki said...

I hate spokesbitches and spokesbastards that say there were no problems with busses on the first day of school. It happened every year that my kids took busses.

Those spokeswhores should be forced to drive those busses themselves! BWAH HAH HAH!!

Great vid and pic of your pussy! I almost let a fluid free through my nose reading that title. :)

Vixen said...

Wow Bunny you are on a ROLL today.

You had me LOL the entire time...oh no, sorry, not at your DAY... But at your humorous way of retelling it.
I'm sorry. Blech.

((your day))

I love your pussy ;) He's super cute and uh, big. I have a Siamese girly that back in the day when she was less close to being older than dirt (lol) weighed close to 20lbs.

Hugs.

jsull said...

well i hate you had a bad day!
but I always knew you had a pretty pussy!
jsull28fl@yaho

The "Mind" said...

I always hated the first couple days of school when I had young ones that needed to be bussed. Usually they were late coming back and one year, over an hour AND they dropped my kid at the wrong end of town. So I totally get your WTF?

That video is hysterical! LMAO!

TAG said...

Let me be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday. Wooo hooo.

Enjoy getting older. Remember, it beats the alternative.

Also remember that you can get older without getting old. ;)

TAG

crse said...

THOSE FUCKERS. DO NOT own this shit. I would totally write the letters too. (but then again bear in mind, ive already started stalking my son's kindergarten teacher and its day 2!)

Loving Annie said...

Bunny,
Dang schoolbus snafus. Grrrrrr ! And spousehole just gets my goat --even in cyber-space with his being so unkind ! Puhllleeeese ! how about supporting our wife in her upset instead of making something up that isn't even logical !!!

That video with the vibrator was a crack-up... And the "pussy" picture, too (lol:)!

Joana said...

Just to be a bitch, I would have called in to the news station, requested to remain anonymous, and stated that not only was the bus late but that when I contacted an operator I was told (when I eventually got through) that all buses were late. Hardly "pulled off without a hitch". ;)

I love that comparison of your daughter to Herimone - brilliant! XD If she starts wearing buttons promoting the freeing of liquids you'll know you're in trouble.

Wow, 25lbs? Yikes that's a big cat! I can't keep Isis above 8lbs and Denali tips the scale at 10lbs (or so I thought). That's wow. But your kitty looks so beautiful and healthy though.

Dial-Up Princess said...

Sorry to hear about the umm stressful first few days of school...*hugs*

Edtime Stories said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.............