I was planning to have an HNT picture from my trip to South Carolina, but there was one teensy weensy little problem with that - I left the camera in Michigan. Doh!
So here's a rerun until I can back into the swing of things:
but I know when I'll be back again. Wednesday afternoon. My flight out leaves at the ass crack of dawn on Friday.
Then I'll sit for a couple hours at DTW before my flight to S.C. I thought maybe I'd get a manicure during that time, but the rip-off "spa" there charges $30 for a simple manicure!! WTF? They need to get an Asian-run manicure place in there; sure the hygiene is a bit iffy and no one speaks English, but for $10-12 you get what you pay for. I've gotten a $30 manicure and $45 pedicure before and to be honest it wasn't any better than the cheap storefront places. The only difference was better music in the salon and the manicurist spoke English. The speaking English thing is not always a benefit. Sometimes you just want to veg out while they work on your hands/feet and you can do that if there's a language barrier. (Just to be clear: I always tip the manicurists well no matter the salon, language barrier or no. That's a crummy job and they deserve the tip.)
I went back and forth about checking a bag or not. I booked my flight early enough that I am not subject to the checked bag fee ($15). The sex toys were the deciding factor. If I put them in a checked bag, I don't have to be there if the security dudes pull them out for examination. Lame-ass reason to check a bag, but it works for me. Plus I'm taking more clothes than I could possibly need. I'm even packing a dress - a dress! - in case we go someplace nice-ish. I like to be prepared for anything.
Looks like I won't be doing any blogging from S.C. as Spousehole has taken off every day I am going to be down there. I thought he was going to go to work one day and I would be free to explore the area on my own (he has a van and his motorcyle there so we'd each have our own vehicle). But no, I learned tonight that he's taking off both Monday and Tuesday, in addition to the half-day on Friday. To be honest, he could probably go back to work on Friday after picking me up at the airport - I'll need some sleep anyway. After all, my alarm is set for 3:30 a.m. and I don't sleep well on planes. Happy, happy; Joy, joy.
So if y'all don't hear from me for nearly a week, don't fret. I'm okay, just enjoying some S.C. sunshine (i.e., heat and humidity) and some time with Spousehole. For those who have my cell #, text me - keep me amused, 'k?
P.S. Keep your fingers crossed for some hot monkey love!! I told Spousehole that I expect this to be a conjugal visit and he didn't say no . . . hence the sex toys in the checked bag. And the tube of lube is over 3 oz and therefore forbidden in the carry-on. ;-)
I leave you with a song I like to amuse you in the meantime. It's from Theory of a Deadman (TOAD), or as I like to call them NickJr (short for Nickelback Junior - they sound just like Nickelback and were "discovered" by Chad Kroeger):
“The eyes have one language everywhere” George Herbert
1.) What material is your favorite for bed sheets?
Cotton, minimum 300 thread count (preferably even higher)
2.) How often do you masturbate?
Lately, about once a week. It's not easy with little kids hanging all over me most all the time. Also I just haven't been feeling terribly interested. Summer heat + kids + no co-parent present + trying to keep the house "showable" for potential buyers = not horny Bunny. Anyone want to help with this situation?
3.) What takes you the longest to do while showering? (IE shaving, washing hair, etc)
Shaving, definitely. Even just doing the lower legs and pits takes some time. Though I suppose overall conditioning my hair lasts the longest, but I put the conditioner on and then take care of things like shaving, so I'm not really doing anything while the conditioner sits there. And in this heat and humidity lately the conditioner is almost worthless. I have the crazy curly frizzy hair by 10:00 a.m. no matter what.
4.) What do you think is the right amount of foreplay? Do you spend enough time readying your partner for sex?
Depends on the situation. Sometimes hours and hours, sometimes very little. On the second question, depends on the partner. If we're talking PiC, he's generally good to go as soon as I arrive. Anticipation and all. Spousehole, it take a lot of time to cajole seduce him into thinking that sex is a good idea. In fact, I've already started on him for my upcoming trip to S.C. (I leave Friday)
5.) Who tends to initiate sex more when you are in a relationship?
With Spousehole, it's all me in the last 7 years or so. The first 2-3 years we were together it was pretty equal, but then Spousehole's interest in sex decreased significantly and it's been all me ever since.
6.) What birth control do you use?
Vasectomy. Spousehole and PiC. If I were to hook up with someone not "fixed" or about whom I had STD concerns, condoms.
7.) What is one thing your partner could do in bed that would instantly turn you off?
Call me by someone else's name. Or pass gas and hold me under the covers (see yesterday's TMI - BTW, I HATE the "f" word, so yesterday's TMI was really difficult for me. "Pass gas" "toot" "poot" are better, in my opinion. I don't let my kids say the "f" word. I swear like a sailor, but that word just irks me.)
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I mentioned in my answers that I'm going to S.C. on Friday. I leave at the ass crack of dawn Friday. I have a 6:00 a.m. flight - with construction at the local airport and security stuff they recommend I be there at 4:30 a.m. at the latest. That is way too early. My seatmates better not be chatty or I might kill them. The first flight is just a short hop to a hub airport. Then I get to sit in DTW for 2 flippin' hours before my next flight leaves for S.C. My main concern is that I will fall asleep in the airport and miss my connecting flight. But these stupid waits between flights are the price one pays for a round-trip fare as low as I got for this trip. So long as NWA can keep their shit together, I'll get to S.C. before noon.
I don't come back until Wednesday next, so I may not post after tomorrow until next Wednesday. We'll see. Depends on if I can get some "alone time" with Spousehole's computer. He will be going to work on either Monday or Tuesday to give me a chance to explore the city on my own, so I may get a chance to check in then.
1. Are your farts: a. Silent but deadly; b. All sound, no fury; c. Loud and stinky
None of the above, most of the time. Silent with little to no fury is the norm. There are exceptions, of course, but rare.
2. Have you ever farted in front of a lover? Who was the 1st one to do it? How did they or you handle it.
I think once you are married, it is inevitable. You share everything, good or bad. An example from a prior post:
We were going at it, hot and heavy, when I attained the pinnacle of sexual pleasure (orgasm, okay?) Right in the middle of it, with Spousehole pounding away at me, I passed gas. Loudly. Not smelly or anything, but not something one could really ignore either. It sounded like the air brakes on a school bus - pshoooo. Spousehole laughed his ass off and it was several minutes before he could resume and finish because he was laughing too hard.
3. Have you ever farted and tried to blame someone else? Who and did you get away with it?
Isn't that why people have pets?
4. What food triggers you?
Broccoli, cantaloupe, hard-boiled eggs.
5. Varts (Vaginal Farts) Scary, or an indication of a good time being had by all?
Evidence of a good time, definitely.
Bonus (as in optional): When you do fart with someone in your bed, do you cover their head with the sheet and hold them under?
No. I'm more mature than that. But just barely.
Unconscious Mutterings, The Free Association Meme
TMI Tuesday - School Days Edition
1. What were you known as in HS (Jock, Princess, Geek)
Depends on the crowd. Mostly I was probably classified as a brainiac, but I was also a band geek and a partier and I also was friends with some of the "popular" kids, so I knew pretty much everybody. I participated in sports, but I was by no means a jock.
2. What were you really?
Deep down inside, a geek. I enjoyed school and learning. The party side of me was pretty well developed as well. People who knew me as a National Honor Society-Girl Scout-teacher's pet kind of kid were always surprised to find me at parties with the "bad" kids, drinking and handcuffed to my boyfriend.
3. If you could go back and tell your 16 year old self one thing, what would it be?
Slow down! Take some time to enjoy things. Drink less, take more AP classes.
4. If you could erase one moment from your school days what would it be?
In the fifth grade spelling bee (on the radio!), I screwed up on an easy word because of nervousness. I don't remember the exact word, but I remember vividly that it ended in -ed. I screwed up by spelling the word correctly until the very end when I finished with -ing instead of -ed. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
5. Who did you not date (or more) that you wish you did?
I pretty much dated who I wanted.
Bonus (as in optional): If you went to prom, describe your outfit.
One was a long red and black dress, worn with strappy black sandals:
One was long lavender Gunne Sax dress. (It was the early 80s!!) I honestly don't remember the shoes. Here, just look for yourself:
I thought I was incredibly fat when this picture was taken.
(Spousehole used to work at this nuclear plant)
I stole this from last month's guest blogger, Tom Allen. Want to do it ? Steal away!
“Someone” reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. It’s not the Big Read though — they don’t publish books, and they’ve only featured these books so far. In any event . . .
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 or less and force books upon them.
Hey, I'm posting for HNT again! I hope I haven't alienated all my HNT friends by not posting so much this summer. It's been a rough summer for taking HNT pics. Mini-recap: My husband took a job 1100 miles away and I'm doing the single-mom thing until the house sells and we can join him in the deep South. I'm with my kids nearly 24/7 (yes, they even sleep with me), so time for fun HNT pics is limited. Sorry!
Anyway, we went up north to the family cottage for the holiday weekend. On Friday I spent a lot of the day in a lawn chair in the same position - doing Sudoku, jabbering with the extended in-law family, watching the kids swimming, etc. I made sure my kids were slathered in sunscreen and I did the same for my arms and legs. I apparently did not do so for my chest, as you'll see below. But it's not an even shaped sunburn - I guess I should have moved my chair a little more often to create an even burn.
When we were getting ready for bed, my daughter pointed to my sunburn and said "Owwie!" I told her that mommy should probably put something cold on it to help and she ran to the bar fridge and came back with this:
(Sorry, no click-thru)
Five things you always have in your refrigerator:
1.) Butter
2.) Soy milk (vanilla)
3.) Parmesan cheese
4.) Cow milk
5.) Heinz Ketchup
Five actresses/actors that you think are over-rated:
1.) Tom Cruise
2.) John Travolta
3.) Keira Knightley
4.) Ashton Kutcher
5.) Mike Myers
Five things around the house that you hate doing:
1.) Picking up
2.) Dusting
3.) Dishes
4.) Laundry
5.) Paying bills
Five of your favorite movies:
1.) The Princess Bride
2.) In Bruges
3.) Double Indemnity
4.) A Christmas Story
5.) Big Night
Five businesses/stores (IE Circuit City, Kohls, Hollister, Bed, Bath and Beyond, Home Depot, etc) you would love to win a $2,000 gift card to:
1.) Dell
2.) Lowe's
3.) Best Buy
4.) Pottery Barn
5.) Restoration Hardware
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Dudes, I'm gettin' a Dell!
Okay, so I already had a Dell, but I'm getting another one! Almost same processor I have currently (P4, 2.4Ghz currently, new one is P4 2.8Ghz) but more RAM (3G!), bigger HD (and it's SATA vs my current ATA), DVD-RW, and, most importantly, more physical space to upgrade. My current 'puter is a slimline Optiplex with no extra drive bays or anything and only a CD-RW. Also it keeps frying hard drives - I suspect the small space is part of the problem - overheating. Apparently it's been a problem with these slimline cases that the hard drives fry pretty easy. I'm going to run Windows XP Pro on the new puppy, but that was a bit of a battle. They want to ship everything with Vista these days and I do not want Vista. It's a memory hog with no appreciable improvement over XP. No thank you. Microsoft has stopped producing XP in order to force people over to Vista, but you just know the manufacturers still have a nice inventory of XP. It's a matter of having a hissy fit to get it.
I do feel a little bit like I'm abandoning my open-source principles, but I will use Open Office on the new machine so that makes me feel a little better. I will still run Edubuntu on the old machine for the kids to use it.
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Why the Toaster Poll?
Here's the deal: Everytime we stay with my in-laws, I am amazed at the anal-retentive cleaning routines. I'm jealous of their cleanliness and efficiency, but don't think even with serious "re-training" I could ever even approach that level of spotlessness.
Anyway, one of their practices is to empty the toaster crumb tray (that little door in the bottom of the toaster) after each time the toaster is used. They really clean it out and keep the toaster looking brand-freaking-new at all times. I grew up in a less fastidious household and it just never occurred to me to clean the toaster after every use.
My siblings-in-law also clean the toaster after every use and are amazed and shocked that I don't and grew up in a household where this did not take place. This made me curious as to how often other people clean the crumbs from the toaster. They almost had me convinced that the majority of people do empty the crumb tray after every use and that my family were incredibly unhygienic lazy pigs. Lazy definitely applies to me, but I really strive to avoid unhygienic.
1. LUST: Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for?
Wow, where do I begin? PIC (duh), SCM, Ed, a total hottie at church, ATLLG, SM, Colin Farrell, Wes Bentley, Mr. Troll (he has very sexy hands and shoulders - that's all I've seen of him), Old Knudsen (it's the cap, don'tcha know?), Charlie, Stealth, and all the hot guys in the bloggy world. If I didn't mention you by name, don't fret - I lust for you, believe me.
2. GLUTTONY: What food brings out your inner glutton?
Pasta, with butter, fresh garlic, freshly shredded parmesan, and course ground black pepper. Yummo!
3. GREED: What are you greedy for?
Sex - I never get enough.
4. SLOTH: What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth?
A good book and no kids!
5. WRATH: Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone.
Does screaming at my children and spanking the little one count? Then that happens almost daily (at least the screaming and the threat of a spanking).
Most of my ass-kicking was done in a courtroom. I've only lost one trial, ever. Granted, most cases don't go all the way through to a trial, but I'm 37-1 for cases that have gotten to trial (most cases settle without a trial and I had quite a few that I felt I would have lost bad had they not settled). That one that I lost was a very weak case to begin with - a misdemeanor stalking prosecution. It was someone else's case that I took over at the very last minute because she had another trial scheduled at the same time. She even said this was a lame case and not to be surprised if we lose it. My non-police witnesses changed their testimony at the last minute, essentially leaving us with no chance of proving our case beyond a reasonable doubt. The jury was right to come back with a not guilty verdict.
One of my favorite ass-whoopings was representing a client in a zoning dispute with her city. The city was just being unreasonable and charged her with a misdemeanor zoning violation. At the end of the trial, the judge told the city attorney that they were being completely ridiculous, harassing this fine, upstanding citizen and to just leave her alone. It was quite funny at the time. Even the lady's neighbors testified in her defense that even if she had violated the zoning ordinance, which no one thought she had, they loved the result and had no complaints. It was clear the zoning administrator had a bug up his butt about my client (small, small town) and this was just part of his vendetta.
6. ENVY: Who or what do you envy? Why?
I envy anyone in an loving, honest marriage.
7. PRIDE: Have you ever had to swallow your pride? What are you proud of?
I swallow my pride every time I put up with Spousehole's assholeishness. I am proud of my intelligence and education and I'm insanely proud of my kids. Current sources of pride: Boy was so composed and sweet riding his horsey buddy in front of a huge crowd at the rodeo on Saturday (he HATES crowds) and Girl basically potty-trained herself in the last 2 weeks.
| Greed: | Medium | |
| Gluttony: | Medium | |
| Wrath: | High | |
| Sloth: | High | |
| Envy: | Very Low | |
| Lust: | Very High | |
| Pride: | High |
Mingle2 - Free Online Dating
| You Are 16% Pure |
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| You Are a Conservative Democrat |
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