Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

TMI Tuesday - Farting Edition (WTF?)

1. Are your farts: a. Silent but deadly; b. All sound, no fury; c. Loud and stinky

None of the above, most of the time. Silent with little to no fury is the norm. There are exceptions, of course, but rare.

2. Have you ever farted in front of a lover? Who was the 1st one to do it? How did they or you handle it.

I think once you are married, it is inevitable. You share everything, good or bad. An example from a prior post:

We were going at it, hot and heavy, when I attained the pinnacle of sexual pleasure (orgasm, okay?) Right in the middle of it, with Spousehole pounding away at me, I passed gas. Loudly. Not smelly or anything, but not something one could really ignore either. It sounded like the air brakes on a school bus - pshoooo. Spousehole laughed his ass off and it was several minutes before he could resume and finish because he was laughing too hard.

3. Have you ever farted and tried to blame someone else? Who and did you get away with it?

Isn't that why people have pets?

4. What food triggers you?

Broccoli, cantaloupe, hard-boiled eggs.

5. Varts (Vaginal Farts) Scary, or an indication of a good time being had by all?

Evidence of a good time, definitely.

Bonus (as in optional): When you do fart with someone in your bed, do you cover their head with the sheet and hold them under?

No. I'm more mature than that. But just barely.

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy


Baby said...

Funny story... thankfully you were lucky enough that "spousehole" had a good sense of humor about it :D Happy TMI!!!

Slick said...

Well, according to this...I ain't mature enough ;)

I totally agree about the Varts though!

Renee said...

Ack! I forgot about the hard boiled eggs. Those get me too - every freaking time! *giggle*


Desmond Jones said...

Yeah, funny story in #2. . . I think you're right - when you're married, you're gonna be privy to pretty much everything, sooner or later. . .

I'll just say you haven't lived until you've been farted on during 69. . . Ever since then, I always ask if she's OK if I go down, and if she's the least bit, uh, gassy, she'll give me a rain check. . .

And Molly has some kinda trick for 'varting' at will. . . Just for the sake of sayin' so. . .

SeaRabbit said...

I love your #2!!
Happy TMI!!

Vixen said...

See, you are my did the TM when I backed out out of fear of being mortifiedI. LOL :)

#2...I would have died of embarrassment right. then. and. there.

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

Your number 3 is my answer *exactly*. :)

Poor maligned pets.

Kittie Kate said...

that's one of the reasons we have pets.