Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

The Rules of Cunnilingus

I didn't make the rules, I just read 'em and recommend 'em. And I definitely recommend Sylvanus and Mina's Rules of Cunnilingus. Check it out. After you've read it, you may come back and read my comments, if you are interested:

1. Unlike Mina, I like hard, direct stimulation of my clitoris with your tongue. Just something to keep in mind. Put your fingers wherever you would like, I'll enjoy that. But the direct stimulation with the tongue is vital - licking, flicking, sucking: all good, just don't be gentle about it. See how we can all be so different?

2. Amen, brother!

3. For me (and this may be just me), let's take a shower together first. I just feel better about the whole thing if our foreplay includes a shower. I feel cleaner and am more open to having you "down there." But that may just be me. And maybe having soapy, slippery hands sliding all over me is just a great warm-up for me.

Also I would reiterate what Sylvanus said:

The more you make her feel like licking her is an eagerly-awaited privilege, and the less like a necessary pit stop before you can plug her with your cock, the better it will make her feel. But, by now, this is probably obvious to you.

But something guys forget: women are often very verbal. Talk to her! Tell her what you are thinking, how she looks. Use words and engage her brain.

4. Sylvanus is right - I'll tell you what I want at this point. Usually I'm going to want you to kiss me - hard - and I'll probably want you inside me, but maybe not. I'll let you know what, when and where, though feel free to share what you want as well. Thanks for listening. Again, Sylvanus' wise words:

And, for the love of God, please, do not ever, after giving oral say any of the following:

  • “You sure take a long time.” Hey, you spent all day trying to play with her pussy, now you’re upset when you get to do it?
  • “What did you eat?” As soon as your semen tastes like a Frosty, you can lecture her on how she tastes.
  • “Your turn!” (or "My turn!")
I've heard the "You sure take a long time" thing before. Makes you never want to have your man go there again, like it's just too much damn work. I'll get defensive and likely respond with "Well if you had a clue what you were doing . . . " and it will just deteriorate from there and you'll NEVER get yours :-) So even if it took "too long," don't say so.

Now go back to At Longing's End and thank Sylvanus and Mina for these wonderful lessons!

Okay, now let's practice!

19 comments:

Zoely said...

oh holy of holiness *THIS* is surely going to be making the internet rounds and like a fire!!! Thanks for directing!

longingsend said...

Preach on, Sister B!

Thank you for also showing how every woman is different in what she likes. I appreciate the link and thoughtful commentary.

Chuck said...

I don't get enough opportunity to eat at the Y as I'd like. I used to consider myself to be quite the connoisseur.

FYI - My nut gravy does taste like a Frosty, or so LaTonya down at Wendy's tells me...

Zoely said...

Nut gravy? {gack}

Kittie Kate said...

It comes and goes for me. Depends on how I feel. Sometimes I like it hard, sometimes soft, sometimes slow.

Sailor said...

Such a great thing to be reminded of; also, at least for us, it's important to remember that what was perfect last night, may be different tonight. So, KEEP ON paying attention, every time!

Polt said...

Um....yeah, okay see, this is one thing that I truly believe I shall never read in my entire life. Not that I have anything against cunnilingus, it's just that, well, i prefer the penis, kay?

Oh, and I don't know about a Frosty taste, but I know from personal experience, a lil bit of cinnamon each day and definitely improve the taste of semen.

I'm just sayin.....

HUGS...

Mina said...

Thank you for the link sweetie! I am glad you enjoyed it and that many others are as well. We just thought we'd share the love :)

G-Man said...

And stay tuned for the next exciting episode of..
"Cooter talk..with Bunny"
xox

Stealth said...

:D Great post :D

Em said...

I'll just say that I do love doing this...and my wife is ever so happy with my eagerness. Of course, if there is an opportunity for more practice, I'm all for that!

Rae said...

I did love this little entry (and Mina and Sylvanus'). It's true we're all different. I haven't ever had this done to me...but I'm sure I'll even be different than you or Mina, or a combination.

Just as long as I get it done to me I'll be happy though (for now)! :-)

Brian said...

I just bought the book "she Comes First: a thinking man's guide to cunnilingus" (or something like that. I love giving my wife pleasure. I want to do it better. Must have missed that day of boy's school where they explained proper technique. Right now I am getting by on enthusiasm and dumb luck.

bdenied said...

Eating pussy is something that is my favorite. For you girls...Some of us guys who really enjoy eating pussy....we do not want to enter you after we do you....some of us like eating after cumming in you...for those of us who really like it...no reciprocation is needed or wanted.....we'd never say "my turn." I dont speak for all guys just some of us.....doing you and not being done is hot......

Z said...

I've been lucky enough to know a few men with the same attitude as bdenied. It makes a difference, knowing how much pleasure he's getting from my pleasure, and that it's not foreplay, but complete in itself.

(But seriously, I have NO idea what exactly anyone is doing down there)

ATLLG said...

Yeah, I like the "you sure do take long attitude".... I guess I'm just too blunt. I'd respond with something like " Well if you had any idea how to use your mouth & tongue down there it would help. The last guy got me off in 1/4 of the time you just did" But that's just me. I could really care less about "my turn" sometimes I want it and other times I don't. Also I guess we all have our times. There have been times I knew I would last 5 minutes in her mouth and other times there is nothing she could do to make me cum that way. COMMUNICATE people, that's really all it takes.

Duke Orsino said...

Frankly, darlings, you can take as long as you like as far as I'm concerned. Oh, and anyone who's interested in what exactly I'm doing down there (eg, Z) only has to ask ...

317537 said...

now see why i love being here reading up & staying caught up on your blog? ; ) you're sooo right about how we're each so different about pressure and what does/doesnt work best and yah---- though my hubby (honest to god, i swear) has seriously never went there 4 me, orally i mean, so yah- i really know nothing as far as this goes but oneday i'll just hafto figure out something; i just will if its the last thing i do ; ) no kidding~

omigosh - can i be any more rambling and open and ....okay. so yes i'll stop now. ; ) and happy monday beginning of the week to you too! ; )

SeaRabbit said...

Interesting... but I am the kind who doesn't like direct clit stimulation... All around... above, under, inside.. yeah... and as much as you like... but not on... oh please... no!