Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Bunny Wisdom

For lack of a substantive post:

1. Don't sweat the petty things; don't pet the sweaty things
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!
3. The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people
4. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but be unable to say it
5. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
6. I doubt, therefore I might be
7. Age is a high price to pay for maturity
8. Procrastination is the fine art of keeping up with yesterday
9. Women like silent men -- we think they are listening
10. A fool and his money are soon partying
11. Always take two Christian Reformed guys fishing; if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer (maybe you have to be from around here to get that one)
12. Beauty is fleeting; ugly is forever (thank you Judge Judy!)
13. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car
14. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege
15. Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
16. Parenting: you work your ass off to teach them to walk and talk, then spend the rest of their childhood telling them to sit down and shut up
17. If you think things can't get worse, you lack sufficient imagination.
18. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard
19. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
20. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool
21. If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?
22. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
23. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others
24. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand
25. Remember, sex is like air: it may not seem important until you aren’t getting any

20 comments:

Anonymous Boxer said...

Bwahahahaha - these are all brilliant. I was laughing so hard I had to shut the door to my office.. now I'm sitting here trying to look serious because there's a big window in front of me.

Number 7 is funnee.

Pluff said...

#1... only if you're doing it right!!

HAHA!! Those are awesome!

Desmond Jones said...

#11 reminds me of something I saw once on Comparative Religions -

Muslims don't recognize the Jews as God's chosen people

Jews don't recognize the divinity of Christ

Protestants don't recognize the authority of the pope, and

Baptists don't recognize each other at Hooters


And this, from Red Green - "If it ain't broke, you're not tryin'"

Project Christopher said...

#13 BABY!

I LOVE IT!

I'm so going to have to remember that next time I'm witnessed to. (if you're moving to SC you may find it handy too... :))

Thanks bunny!

I Smile 2 Much said...

#9 --- um, you mean they're not???? ; ) LOL (Luv it!)

#25 sucks but only b/c I'm griping about it (tee*hee*hee)

luv this list!

Amorous Rocker said...

Those are so awesome. I love it, lol.

Vixen said...

LOLOL! #8 cracked me up. We need a lifeguard. ;)

G-Man said...

Sagelike Bunny...xox

Flyinfox_SATX said...

For me, it is One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila...Score!

Flyinfox_SATX

The Silent Male said...

#9 - Oh yeah. If you like men being silent. Then ya gotta love me.... :)

Loved the list, this was great.

Samantha said...

lol these were great!!!!!

Trueself said...

As for #11, I don't know nuttin' about Christian Reformed, but when I substituted Southern Baptists it made perfect sense! LOL

Slick said...

Bunny is a smart, smart girl lol ;)

The Troll said...

I don't know what a "Christian Reformed" is but I think I get the joke. Like Truself, I've heard similar ones about Southern Baptists etc...

A. Secret said...

Amen to dat Sistah!
XX

The Troll said...

19 is great! Is that original?

New important TROLL POLL needs your input!

I refrained from using the term Negro!

jGrrl said...

These are awesome. Fully, completely.

Craze said...

I love them!!

Weekends Off said...

# 2 is so me!

Naughty K said...

You are a wise woman...and funny too!