Scratching an itch

Boy and Girl are going away for the weekend!! I'm very excited. Their paternal grandparents just got back from wintering at their oceanfront condo in Florida (poor dears) and want to take the children for the weekend. Who are we to argue? In fact, when the grandparents stopped by on their way up north earlier in the week, Boy thought he should go with them right then. He kept disappearing upstairs, then we realized he had changed his clothes, put on socks and shoes, gathered his favorite toys, and put on a cap. He was ready. When we explained that he had school the rest of the week and couldn't go until Friday, he was devastated. He moped around for a couple hours after the grandparents left. Boy should be ecstatic today when they take him soon after he gets home from school.

This will be the first time Spousehole and I have had the house to ourselves in months. Hopefully I'll get some of the two things I've been missing in my life: sex and sleep. Or at least the sleep. The other may not happen; we've been fighting a lot again lately. He's back on his thing about not being able to love me if I can't keep the house better, etc. He always says he doesn't want me to be like his mother, then he expects me to do things just like his mother. Well, I'm not her. My house isn't spotless and probably never will be. Even he admits going to his parents' homes (they have 3) is like visiting a model home or condo – it doesn't look like anyone really lives there. It's cold, impersonal, and too perfect. I never want my home to be like that.

When we argued this past weekend, Spousehole told me that he really wouldn't care if I had an affair. How's that for proving he doesn't really give a shit about me? One of these days I'm going to take him up on that. Not a love affair, mind you, just a no feelings, down and dirty, nasty booty call kind of thing. I've even fantasized about a guy who would be perfect for this, in a totally inappropriate kind of way. I probably wouldn't actually like him, but he has one redeeming feature: Spouse absolutely hates this guy. I've never even met him, only seen his booking picture (I told you he was bad news!). He did something despicable and disgusting, but fucking him would definitely get a reaction from Spousehole. Besides, I've always had a thing for inappropriate guys. When I was in college, there was this guy that everybody hated. He was good looking, but arrogant and obnoxious. We'll call him Richard. I couldn't stand him either, but was still very attracted to him. One of those repulsion/attraction things. My friends said I'd never follow through, that I wouldn't be able to stand having to talk to him just to get laid. That's a dare if I've ever heard one. One Saturday night, I could see across the courtyard that Richard was in his room, alone. I threw back a couple vodka-tonics, made my way to the south wing of our building, happened to pass his open door and struck up a conversation with Richard. Soon, after a quick wave to my friends on the north side of the courtyard, I closed the blinds and got what I was hankering for all those months. It was actually pretty good; for a self-centered jerk he was not exactly selfish, if you know what I mean. The only awkward moments were when his suitemate wanted to use the bathroom while we were in the shower and when Richard wanted me to stay all night. But I had gotten what I wanted and was ready to leave. Sometimes you just have to scratch the itch and it goes away.