Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Let's Just Jump Right Back In

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is accused of rape in Sweden. A friend and I have been having a pretty heated debate about whether the facts, as reported, qualify as rape.

Assume the facts are as set forth below. Then tell me if you think either woman was raped, was assaulted in a manner less than rape, or no crime was committed, or whatever your view is, ON THESE ASSUMED FACTS.

Woman1 meets man through work. Is a little in awe of him because of his public position. Invites him to her apartment where things progress to the parties agreeing to engage in sexual intercourse. She says he must wear a condom. He complains and tries to talk her out of requiring a condom. She insists. The parties have sex, with a condom. The condom fails (whether by chance or by the man's underhanded tampering) and the woman's body comes in contact with the man's semen, a occurrence she was specifically trying to avoid.

Woman2 meets man through work. After a couple days of working together, they go out to dinner and she invites him to her apartment. The parties have consensual sexual intercourse, after a negotiation regarded condom usage that results in the man wearing a condom. The parties sleep together, nude, in the woman's bed. In the morning, the woman awakens to the man entering her, sans condom. She does not object, does not ask that he put on a condom
(she says she was aware that he did not have a condom on), and agrees that she at that point consented to intercourse continuing to completion.

Both women later ask man to be tested for STDS or provide evidence of recent STD testing showing him to be free of infection. He declines, having left their country and planning to never see either woman again.

IMO, this man is an asshole. No question. If he has an infection, he obviously should tell them. If he does not or does not know, he should be tested and provide the results. Any gentleman would
do that without hesitation. His failure to do this is stupid and would be illegal in many US states if he was infected with HIV (and sometimes other STDs), knew of the infection, and failed to inform his partners.

Intentionally sabotaging a condom and unprotected intercourse with prior knowledge that a partner objects to unprotected intercourse might be charged as battery by allowing one's bodily fluids to come in contact with a person who objected to such. However, this might be difficult, as any person who agrees to sexual contact with another person, even with a condom, is consenting to whatever contact might occur if the condom fails.

BUT HERE'S THE MAIN QUESTION: Was the second woman raped when she awoke to find her sexual partner from a few hours before entering her, she did not object and in fact consented to the sex act continuing?

Clearly having sex with a completely unconscious person would be rape. But who among us has not had "wake-up" sex? Does it make a difference if the persons are regular sexual partners or have only had sex once?

Please discuss, but keep it polite, 'k?

Yes, I'll post an update on my life soon, thanks for the well-wishes and concerns :-)

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy


Alfro said...

The guys an Ass....
We'll leave it at that.

Looking forward to an update...

Frank Thornton said...

It sounds to me like a man needs an attorney present before having sex in Sweden.

Sailor said...

The guy's an ass, definitely.

For the second woman, if she says herself that she consented to it? I don't see how that's assault, or rape; he's still an ass, because he knew (from previous interlude, unless he's so dopey he couldn't remember the night before) that she wanted a condom. But, I don't know the ins & outs of that (ha, bad joke, I know, sowwwy).

The rest, the failure to disclose a known condition, most definitely wrong, and should be punishable- I'm surprised it's not everywhere, you say "most" US states? I'm not up on the rules I guess, seems like that shouldn't *need* legislation, just sense & courtesy. (I know, that's why it needs legislating, those two commodities aren't all that common, seems like).

Good questions :)

dareuu said...

Asshole? Yes. Horny asshole? Absolutely.

Rapist? I don't think so. Consensual sex is not rape.Yes he should have worn a condom since they agreed to it the prior time. But as the sex with the first woman shows (and personal experience confirms) condoms can break. Consenting to sex with a condom is still consenting to sex. Rape is when you are forced against your will to be subjected to a sexual act. Rolling over and saying "ahhh don't stop" is not rape. Even if the "ahhh don't stop" is said in Swedish.

Good to see you again.

Joker_SATX said...

Sure, the guy is a sphincter boy, no doubt. However, he is a smart sphincter boy for going after women with the IQs of carrots.

In my opinion, the all have gotten the drama they deserve....

ZigZagMan said...

I can't call this rape and you know my lack of tolerance for such....

My understanding....based on claims made.....this was consenting adults.

I think he's an egotistical emotionally impaired douche....but thats a separate issue...:)