Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Almost-dead cat and cow bacon?

Thomas (orange, left) and Max (right)

Amongst my family's woes of late has been the attempted murder of my beloved cat, Max, by my evil children. Max is 13 - I have had him longer than I've had my husband and much longer than the demon children. Max is a good cat - busy and nosy, but sweet. His main flaw is that he tolerates much of the abuse the children heap on him: playing doctor and bandaging the kitty's legs up, putting him in drawers or boxes or cabinets, etc. Unfortunately he learned when they were babies that he shouldn't bite or scratch them, so now when they deserve to be bitten or scratched, he does nothing.

One afternoon not long ago, the children were playing outside. I didn't realize it, but they had the garage open (we usually keep it locked). When my husband came home from work, he found Max locked in a cat carrier in the garage. He let Max out and noticed that the cat seemed wet, but didn't think much about it. A while later I saw the cat on the porch, looking wet and distressed. I picked him up and smelled a strong chemical odor, so I ran straight to the bathroom and began rinsing the cat in the bathtub (he loved that). In response to my yelling, Spousehole went to the garage and found a bottle of Spray-n-Wash and the children admitted to spraying the cat through the holes in the cat carrier with the Spray-n-Wash. Spousehole sent the children to their rooms while I continued rinsing the cat, much to the cat's displeasure.

I dried the cat with a towel and let him loose. He threw up, but then otherwise seemed okay, except for having endured the bath. We had dinner and then I thought I would try blow-drying the cat. After a bit of searching, I found him laying on his side, breathing shallowly and looking miserable. He was barely responsive, limp, and would occasionally moan.

We called poison control and they said "we don't do pets." We called the emergency vet. They wanted us to call the animal poison control line. I called that line and $60.00 later (yep, that's what they charge; you have to give the ASPCA your credit card number before they'll even talk to you) they gave us some "well duh!" advice and sent us on the to emergency vet. The $60.00 fee also includes their consultation with the emergency vet, which I hope was more helpful than their advice to me (it was, apparently).

At the emergency vet they took Max from me as soon as we walked through the door. They gave him another bath and assessed his vital signs. His body temp was down to 88 degrees (F). It should be around 100 degrees (F). His respiratory rate was low. He was disoriented and ataxic. They consulted with the ASPCA poison control vet. They also ran blood tests.

It turned out that the main thing in the Spray-n-Wash that affected my poor baby was alcohol. It was absorbed through his skin, mainly, and he probably ingested some in licking himself. He had acute alcohol poisoning and a little eye irritation. They put him on an IV to rehydrate him and stabilize his blood sugar and they had him wrapped in warming blankets. He was already looking more like himself when I finally got to see him. He responded to my voice and wiggled out of the blankets. Keeping him the in the warming blankets was an effort all night, I later learned.

He spent the night at the hospital and I brought him home the next day. By morning the vets had gotten him to eat a little and drink a little. He had had an elevated white count that we determined was likely from a bad tooth, so he had some antibiotics to take. He also had an ointment for his eyes. He was looking better, but was still not himself.

I started to wonder if I brought him home too soon. He remained weak and didn't want to eat for a couple days. I tried to entice him with canned food (a once-a-year or so treat), but all he did was lick the juice. I even resorted to giving him water with a syringe because he wasn't drinking. I wasn't sure he was going to make it.

After several days of lethargy and no appetite, Max finally came around. Now, a few weeks later, he is back to himself. He finished the antibiotics and his white cell count is back to normal. The funky tooth got scraped, but not pulled. He needs a full teeth cleaning, but we want to make sure he gains back the weight and is at close to 100% before having him put under for the teeth cleaning.

Initially the children were very sorry for hurting Max, but now they are back to wanting to play doctor with him, hold him against his will, etc. I remind them how badly they hurt him, then they leave him alone again; for a while. Poor kitty.

We like bacon in this family. Every weekend I cook some bacon to include in our breakfast. We lurve the bacon very much. Now I've seen and had all kinds of bacon: regular, thick-sliced, no-sugar, brown-sugar, peppered, reduced-sodium; even fakin' bacon like turkey bacon or soy bacon. But I recently saw one I'd never, ever seen before: beef bacon. WTH? Is this a southern thing? Has anyone tried this? It just seems wrong. I love me some dead cow, understand, but bacon?

To blog is a self-invasion of privacy


Project Christopher said...

Bunny... I find it hard to say this, and I'll probably be railed against by the mommies for it but...

Beat the fuck out of your children.

Not really. Seriously. But

Jeffrey Dahmer started out torturing animals. He saw it as fun and interesting.

Nip that in the bud.

lime said...

poor max. i have to say if my kids had done that they'd be doing a helluva lot of chores to pay for the vet bill. they'd also have been awakened in the night to help attend to the poor cat (under supervision) so they could grasp the magnitude of what they had done. it also has the added benefit of keeping them too busy (or tired) to torment the creature.

as for beef bacon....uh, kosher and halal folks who want greasy breakfast goodness since the turkey bacon is supposed to be low fat? i dunno, it's a puzzlement.

CHEF TROLL said...

Rotten kids. Quite honestly, I think it's better to teach kids that animals WILL scratch, kick and bite, rather than put all the pressure on one's pets.

And even the gentlest cat, dog, horse WILL do those once-in-a-while.

AL (the inventor) GORE said...

I invented Beef Bacon!

Desmond Jones said...

Lime's comment makes a lot of sense to me. . .

I seriously doubt you've got little Jeffrey Dahmers in-the-making; it doesn't seem like they were intentionally trying to harm the cat - just treating him like too much of a toy, and not enough of a living creature. A lesson on the difference between the two (and the consequences of confusing the two) would probably be real helpful. . .

Vixen said...

(((Max)))) I *love* my kids but if they did something that torturous to one of my furbabies they might find themselves locked in a crate and me spraying THEM with something. How horrible for the kitty. I'm with Project Christopher. LOL

I'm glad he's ok though. :)

Bunny said...

My husband did spank the children and they had to see Max in the hospital and had to help take care of him when he came home. They are still helping to care for the cats.

I don't think they are Dahmers in the making. Boy is 8 and autistic. Girl is only 4. They didn't mean to hurt him. They have seen us spray the cats with a water bottle to get them off certain furniture, so they thought they were doing something similar. They don't usually have access to chemical bottles, but this Spray-n-Wash was in the garage because it was used to clean a sticker off a vehicle and never returned to the high shelf in the laundry room.

Rest assured that the children were punished and know why they were punished.

Phyllis Renée said...

I'm glad the cat is better, but I'm absolutely relieved the kids didn't try to drink the stuff!!

Never heard of beef bacon, but then hubby does most of the grocery shopping.

Sailor said...

Poor Max- but I'm very glad he's okay now!

As to the beef bacon thing? It's not bacon if it's from a cow, or a turkey, or a chicken, or a plant- sorry. It's bacon when it's from a pig.

TUG said...

oh goodness. I guess I know what to keep away from the kids now.

I guess if they make turkey bacon why not beef bacon. How about chicken bacon???

aphron said...

No, beef bacon is NOT a southern thing. Some middle level manager probably dreamed it up. The only bacon that is fit to eat is from a pig and cooked in a cast iron skillet.

As for the cat, I'm glad he is feeling better. Cats are amazingly hard to kill. Ours was run over by Sybil. Survived with a fracture pelvis.

Anonymous said...

I like to let reality be the best teacher. I would have put the fear of the ramifications in their heads if the cat died.

Yes, the kids would have probably been traumatized but they would never harm that cat again....

Project Christopher said...

my apologies.... I didn't TRULY mean Dahmers in the making. And knowing they were punished and also had to see kitty suffering from their actions makes it more clear. Originally posted it didn't sound as if they'd been shown the error of their ways.
I'm just a huge.. HUGE animal protector and kids are often the bane of some pet's existence. I know Bunny would protect the kitty as she did. We just had a bad turn of events with a puppy mill here in Chicago so the Pet-minded are on edge.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad your cat is feeling better. My kids would have gotten in mucho big trouble for that!

And the beef bacon? Sounds gross to me.

Slick said...

Daaaang, I need to borrow the kids to take care of my fire ant problem ;)

We bought some turkey bacon the other day. I have yet to try it but still...

Turkey bacon? Blech

Val said...

Poor Max!
Acute alcohol intoxication, huh?
& the only time I've beaten my boy's butt is when he was about 3 & wouldn't LISTEN when I told him to quit rough-housing w/his poor tolerant G-Kitty...

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