Wet Wednesday - Committed

1. for you, is sex hotter when it is forbidden? or are you the sort that is wracked with guilt and it is not enjoyable?

Forbidden is pretty hot, I must admit. I thought I would feel guilty cheating, but I didn't and don't. I thought I would feel bad about having sex with a man other than my husband, but found I really like variety and don't think the hub really cares. I thought I would feel guilty sleeping with another woman's husband, but that hasn't been a problem either, even when I have actually met and like the wife (see here). Overall though, for me the "hotness" of it has less to do with being forbidden or not than with the chemistry between my partner and I. I've had technically good sex with all kinds of people, but the really hot sex comes when you've got chemistry, that attraction that takes it to another level. If I had to choose between a partner with excellent technique but only average attraction between us and a partner with amazing chemistry but less technical skill, I'll take the hot chemistry any day. Skills can be learned, chemistry is just there or isn't. (Of course, the chemistry can be lost if he's a clumsy oaf who can't learn, but that's another post . . . )

2. are casual sexual encounters fulfilling to you, or do you need an emotional commitment from your partner?

They are sexually fulfilling, if not emotionally. Sex for the sake of sex is fine, if there's an deeper attraction that's great too, but if you can get the trifecta - technically good sex + intense attraction (chemistry) + emotional connection, so much the better!

3. do you think that with all of the online dating sites that cater to every fetish and desire and places like craigslist that it's more difficult to stay committed to your partner?

No, I don't think the availability of those sites makes it less difficult to stay committed. If you go looking on those sites, you've already decided that staying committed isn't working for you. That is, you don't go there if maintaining that commitment is a vital part of your life. I certainly never considered looking at such sites until I had reached the point that my marital commitment was not so important to me anymore.

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