Well That Didn't Go As Planned

I should have known by how the day started that not much was going to go right.

I needed some routine blood work done and made my early morning trip to the lab. I hate fasting blood tests. I felt a little warm and out of sorts, but figured it was just the fasting. I'd be fine after they took the blood and I could eat something.

As is the norm with me, my veins dived and rolled and just plain refused to cooperate. As the gal was poking the back of my hand yet again, things started to go a little dark. "I think I'm going down - -" I managed to spit out before I lost consciousness. When I came to every phlebotomist in the place was around me, holding cold packs on my neck and forehead and keeping me off the floor.

Before I could start apologizing for being such a lame-ass, I started vomiting. They got the wastebasket in front of me and I puked up all the water in my stomach. There was nothing but water, of course, since I had been fasting. A quick test of my blood sugar showed it was at 38. That's really f-ing low, for those not familiar with blood glucose monitoring. They gave me some glucose and I perked up after a few minutes. When I felt better, I got up to go to the bathroom to provide the urine sample they needed. Except that when I lost consciousness, I apparently also lost bladder control. OMG - I had wet my pants. Do you have any idea how humiliated I was? They tried to tell me that it happens, it's no big deal, blah blah blah. I just wanted to die. I mean, I faint fairly easily, but I haven't wet my pants before. The only time I can recall that I lost consciousness and wet myself was when I had a seizure and I accept that that's pretty common when you have a seizure. I didn't seize this time, I just fainted. I was mortified.

I thought the day really had to go up from there. Really, what could be worse?

Early afternoon, Spousehole and I dropped the kids with my parents so we could go out and celebrate our anniversary. Our anniversary isn't until May 1, but he will be in South Carolina starting his new job then.

We went to a movie, Forbidden Kingdom. It was a cute, fluffy kung-fu type movie with Jackie Chan and Jet-Li. Not great cinema by any stretch of the imagination, but a cute distraction on a Saturday afternoon. Except for that woman coughing and hacking through the whole. damn. movie. Bitch should have taken some cough medicine or something.

We went to a chain Italian-ish place for dinner. The food was okay, but the meal kept being disrupted by a woman coughing and hacking. That bitch was determined to ruin my night. At one point in the meal, Spousehole reached across the table and stroked my cheek and my forehead and said, "You're burning up honey." "No, I'm fine, really. I'll be okay," I protested lamely.

We went to a park to sit quietly together and look out over Lake Michigan. He snuggled me in the way-back seat in the minivan and we enjoyed watching teenagers all dressed up for prom taking pictures with the lake in the background. It was sweet. Until I fell asleep. At 7:30, in the backseat of the Mommyvan. The Queen of Romance, that's me.

He woke me up and we split a sorbet at Ben & Jerry's. I felt better after the cool, refreshing sorbet. Then we went to retrieve our kids. My mom: "It's not even 70 out. Why are you sweating?" "I'm fine Mom." "No you're not." She gets the thermometer - 102.4 degrees. Okay, maybe I'm not.

And I'm not. Not fine, not at all. Temp is still 102 this morning, cough is still awful. And because Mother Nature has a nasty sense of humor, my period started.

I'm going back to bed. See you later, if I survive this.