A new situation has arisen and I'm not quite sure what to do with it or about it. Spousehole isn't angry, but he seems depressed.
When I came home Sunday night, after an impromptu rendezvous with PiC, Spousehole seemed really, really down. I thought perhaps he had some inkling of where I had been. But he doesn't usually hold that type of thing in. If he suspected something, he would confront me. That's his M.O.
This morning he seemed down before he went to work. He was also surprised to see me awake and dressed before 7:00 - I had to have some blood drawn and they required fasting so I wanted it done first thing in order to be able to eat. Anyway, he just seemed out of it, not himself. Not angry, just down.
I went out for lunch this afternoon and when I came home he was here and in bed - at 2:30 in the afternoon. I asked if he was okay and he said that he felt light-headed, dizzy. He wasn't terribly convincing. He seemed more like he just wanted to hide under the covers and not come out. I know that feeling, I've been there way, way too often.
He stayed in bed all afternoon, only emerging when I asked if he wanted dinner. Once dinner was ready, I asked again if he was okay, explaining that he seemed more depressed than usual. He shrugged his shoulders. I told him I was worried about him, because I love him. He smiled and continued serving himself. After dinner he seemed better, going to the boat store for some gel coat for the cat. He didn't want me to go with him, but he also didn't give me a list of things he'd like to see accomplished in his absence. Highly unusual.
I know this is a pointless post, but it's for me, not you all. Some people think aloud, I think here.
Edit: He got the gel coat and seems much happier outside working on the cat. I swear that damn boat makes him happier than I ever did. But the weirdness continues: I needed money to go get more dishwasher detergent (God forbid that I should wash those dishes by hand!) and he handed over the cash without complaint or grumbling. That's not like him at all. I reminded him that I love him before I left for the store and he smiled and said "I know you do." What does that mean? Or does it mean anything? Maybe I'm just overanalyzing this whole thing.
Monday, August 13, 2007
A New Situation
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7 comments:
Its not a pointless post at all. Its actually really thought provoking. Please keep us posted on how this plays out.
That is odd, DW has lately been making me lots of offers to leave whenever I want to. I am wondering also what is up.
It's a passive control device; by playing the needing individual, they force you to adjust your contact and level of care away from the direction you've been in. It's a way of reeling you back in. FW does it all the time, but usually uses "health" problems to force me back into my indentured servitude.
I would be worried as to where he takes this. Depression can lead to some awful things. Is there someone he can talk to?
This wasn't pointless at all. You may have only posted it for yourself but more serious posts about people's well being aren't pointless. I find human behavior puzzling and fascinating. I hope this doesn't take a turn down a worse road. Take care.
Nothing to do but wait it out. But, I will tell you that I am just feeling normal again after having a weird disease that mostly just made me exhausted - not many other symptoms. It lasted for about a week and at its peak, I spent a couple afternoons in bed.
Best of luck.
Two things... there does seem to be something weird going around that just kind of knocks you down. Sort of like mono. On the other hand, he's got all kinds of control issues, and I think soccer dad might be onto something. Maybe he's feeling down that the monkeys are at the in-laws? And I'm guessing that by your last post about them the kids are with them because they're bugging him to deal with his marriage for a change? Just a thought...
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