Does it make me gay . . . ?

I was asked the question recently "Does it make me gay that I want things in my ass?"

The answer: No.

And to ward off any future questions:

Does it make you gay when you -

- eat quiche? NO

- want to touch my ass? NO

- want me to touch your ass? NO

- want to lick my ass? NO

- want me to lick your ass? NO

- want to put your fingers in my ass? NO

- want me to put my fingers in your ass? NO

- want to put your cock in my ass? NO

- want me to put toys in your ass? NO

- like wearing a pink shirt? NO

- how about a purple shirt? NO

- chartreuse shirt? maybe, but only because you said "chartreuse" and not green

None of these things make you gay. Want to know what makes a man gay? Here it is, once and for all:

It makes you gay if you are a man who prefers sex with men over sex with women and would choose a man for a life partner over a woman. That's it. That's what makes you gay. Notice I didn't say that you are gay if you enjoy sex with men. That's not it. It's PREFERRING sex with men over sex with women and PREFERRING a male life partner over a female life partner.

And what the fuck would be wrong with being gay anyway?

Okay, I'm done ranting now. Thank you for listening. Or reading. Or whatever.