Happy Valentine's HNT!

Today's theme was RED, as decreed by the great and wonderful Os, so I dug
through my lingerie drawer and here's a peek at what I found:

clickety-click both for more than a peek

Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os at

WTF Wednesday

WTF . . .

. . . is up with this weather? It's been too frickin' cold, even for Michigan. I'm just glad I don't live "up north" anymore. We didn't actually get as much snow there, on the east side of the state, but it was horribly cold. 25 below (before windchill) was not unusual. Whenever we bundle the kids up to go outside, it is reminiscent of Ralphie's brother Randy in "A Christmas Story." My husband and I start saying "Ralphie . . . RALPHIE" like Randy does when he falls down and can't get up because he's so bundled up. The kids think we are insane. They may have a point.

. . . why does my daughter call peanut butter "penis budder"? And why do I still giggle every time she says it?

. . . is up with the strange conversations that go on in my house. A sample:

Him: Hey, hon . . .

Me: Hm?

Him: Why is there a pink vibrator in the bathroom cabinet?

Me: I dunno. Why is there Pantene conditioner in the drawer of the computer desk?

Him: Touche

Me: Tush-ay? Wow. I didn't know you were into that.

Him: Huh? Oh shut up!

. . . is my neighbor's deal-ee-o? We got a few more inches of snow last night. Just fluffy stuff. My neighbor guy, divorced, about 45, is in amazing shape. I mean, not that I watch him through the kitchen window cooking dinner shirtless or anything. He'd be a hottie if he weren't a complete doofus otherwise. I point out that he is in great physical condition, so you will understand why I am cheesed off at him. We got that snow I mentioned, right? And a major homeowner duty in the great white north is shoveling your sidewalk. I told you it's just fluffy stuff, right? Here's hottie-body neighbor's idea of shoveling the sidewalk:

In case it's not clear, that's exactly one shovel-width. God forbid he should clear the whole frickin' sidewalk. It's about three shovel-widths wide. Would it kill him? If I can manage, so can he. He doesn't even shovel the steps up to his own front door either. He uses the side door, but that doesn't help the mail deliverer, does it? Lazy-ass bastard.

And that brings up another one - a big WTF to Spousehole! He has very few responsibilities around the house, besides bringing home the bacon. But his short list of duties includes scooping the cat boxes, shoveling the walk, and putting the trash out on Wednesday morning for trash day. Guess how many of those things were done in the last 24 hours (more like at least 48 hours on the cat box. Remember: we have three (3) furry poop generators). If you guessed "NONE" you win! Besides that whole bringing-home-money thing, he's not really very useful lately. I was going to show you pictures of all three, but I forgot to take pictures before I shoveled the walk and scooped the cat boxes. And a picture of the curb with no trash bags really doesn't say much. Besides, did you really want to see a picture of a dirty cat box?

You're the Panama Canal!
While others are content to work long and hard hours, you're all about
taking the shortcut. While this has benefited you for the most part, it has required starting several conflicts so that you could get your way. Your old profession doesn't seem terribly lofty to anyone, and sometimes you've even needed to dig ditches to get by, but you figure the results are worth it. Now, most of the time you're just cruising.
Take the State Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

TMI Tuesday

It's TMI Tuesday! Click the "I kiss and tell" icon to come play with us!!

1. What's the sexiest gesture a person you are sexually interested can make?

Look deeply into my eyes and give me a wicked smile

2. what are 3 inevitable things about you?

I will disappoint you
I will not think I'm getting enough sex
I will never be completely happy with my body

3. how many types of orgasms have you experienced?

One

4. what asset do you have besides the physical and the material?

Intelligence

5. what do you want . . . . now?

A good romp - it's been too long and I have been excessively horny the last couple of days

Bonus (as in optional):describe a sexy mind.

First and foremost, a sexy mind is an intelligent mind. It is one that focuses on the sensual in life generally, that enjoys all aspects of a sexual interaction - not just the "tab A into slot B" part, but all the sensations including touch, taste, smell, sound, one that is interested in getting to know all aspects of one's partner in order to enhance the experience for both.

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My MF babysitter for Thursday night just canceled on me!!! Says she has the flu. Little home-schooled, unvaccinated punk. Where the F am I going to get a babysitter for VALENTINE'S DAY now? Man, this sucks. Actually, the question is "Where is Spousehole going to get a babysitter?" He volunteers with the senior high youth group at church, so he is most familiar with the pool from which we draw most of our babysitters. I'm even willing to let him bring his "girlfriend" (the 15 year old after whom he lusts) into our house at this point. (I just won't let him drive her home.) If he doesn't get a babysitter, I'll go by myself and flirt shamelessly with the other husbands and get myself banned from these parties forever. That'll show him. (I'm not really mad at the babysitter for canceling. She can't help that she's sick, that her parents choose to home-school her, or that her parents don't have their children vaccinated for anything. She does choose her alt-punk attire and music, but that's one of the things I like about her.)

____________
Hey, does anybody know what happened to blogger Jon Galt of You've Got to Reach Out and Grab It? His blog seems to be deleted and emails are returned as undeliverable. Did he just give up blogging for lack of time or did something happen? I'm just curious. Regular readers know I have a thing for bi-guys and "Jon" was one of my faves!

Mute Monday - Valentine's Day

Saint Valentine: Patron saint of marriage and plague. Coincidence? I think not.

___________________

Spousehole and I actually have plans for Valentine's Day, with a babysitter lined up and everything. It's nothing romantic, however. We are going to a dinner party where we'll be one of 4 couples. I have to bring an appetizer. If you have any ideas, let me know. (It needs to travel about 30 miles in bitter cold temperatures, so a cold to room temp appetizer is probably best.) I just read a recipe for figs poached in port, stuffed with cream cheese, and topped with prosciutto. I'm leaning toward that unless someone comes up with something better.
Valentine's Day is also my Dad's birthday, but we won't be celebrating it until the weekend.
___________________

It's another frickin' snow day here. It doesn't look so bad out to me, but I'm not trying to maneuver a giant school bus. Also it is bitter cold. It never got above 2 degrees (F) yesterday. They may have canceled school for that reason. They don't want kids walking to school or their bus stops when it is so cold. I don't remember that being a problem when I was a kid. (Next I'll be telling my kids how I walked 2 miles to school, uphill both ways, with holes in my shoes and only an old hand-me-down jacket with baked potatoes in the pockets to keep me warm. And then those baked potatoes were all I had to eat at lunch and I had nothing to keep my hands warm on the way home . . . )

Sunday Memes, Live From the Opium Den

Unconscious Mutterings, the Free Association meme

1. Score :: Touchdown


2. Luxurious :: Decadent


3. Party :: Time


4. Limited edition :: Vehicle


5. Security :: Company


6. Betty :: Page


7. Under construction :: Michigan roads


8. Pest :: Little sister


9. director :: producer


10. Express :: Oil Change

BTW Sunday

By the way...
How good are you at rhymes? Finish each one...

As my love for you grows dear, still I grow weary of having you near.

A more cherished love you'll never find, especially with such a fine behind.

Tell me now and tell me true, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Please take my heart for your very own, but keep your mitts off my cell phone!

Our love will never be empty and hollow, in the mush and gush will it wallow.

I adore the way you tell me, scuse me babe - I gotta pee.

Valentine's Day is all candy and flowers, but a guy without just sits and cowers.

You bring a twinkle to my eye, as you slowly open your fly.

I'm a little valentine, made for you, a gift of sweetness, full of goo.

And, last but not least...

Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem sucks 'cuz I haven't a clue!

So, why is the Rabbit Warren now the Opium Den?

My in-laws gave me two little bottles of Opium perfume in my stocking at Christmas. I don't wear Opium, so I kind of forgot about them. Girl found them. Doused herself in Opium, splashing some on my kitchen floor and cabinets. While I cleaned that up, she had the other bottle and decided to play "chef." She put some raisins in a small toy saucepan and splashed them liberally with Opium - apparently imitating mommy making rum raisin sauce for ham earlier in the week.

O.M.G.

I finally have the Girl free of the smell, several baths later. My kitchen, however, may never recover. I'm going to need to burn dinner or cook fish or something to cover that smell. I mean, it could be worse, but it could be a lot better too. Opium isn't horrible, it's just not my first choice. And Spousehole hates it because it reminds him of his mother.

Bow Before Me . . .

The Cool Nerd Queen

The Confusion Sets In . . .

Puzzled, confused, confuzzled. What does it mean?

Spousehole is wearing his wedding ring again.

He's gone months without it. He didn't put it back on for Thanksgiving with our families. He didn't put it back on for Christmas. He hasn't worn it to church or out with friends or any other time that he might that he might be concerned about "how it looks" to others.

I have no idea why he is suddenly wearing it again.

He even left it in the shower one morning, but put it back on the next morning. (We both tend to take off our rings in the shower because they slip off - I think they both need resizing as they are loose-fitting now. Mine is a six, but I think my finger is back to a 5 3/4 or 5 1/2.)

He still flinches like it is horribly painful if I ask for a hug (very rare - only after a really difficult day or something). He does not act any different, except that he is less angry lately.

But he put his ring back on.

Huh.
__________________________

Update 2:30 p.m.:

I took the advice and asked. He said "Um . . . uh . . . I dunno" and five minutes later the ring was gone again.

I'm the one that asked for the separation. So why does it hurt so much?

HNT

~click~

Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os at