Months since moving to South Carolina: 4
In that time:
Months without internet: 1.5
Number of animals nursed back to health: 1 (Boy dropped his classroom guinea pig and broke his top front teeth off. I am caring for him, including hand feeding, until the teeth grow back. Which they are, fairly quickly too).
Months paying for two houses, one empty: 4+
Amount spent on car repairs: $1200 (approx.)
Amount spent on motorcycle repairs: $1200 (approx.)
Amount spent on things for me and only me: $0 (No manicures, no pedicures, not even a haircut)
Number of recent fellow refugees from Michigan I've met just on my block in my subdivision: 4
Number of active duty or recently retired military people I've met in my sub: Um, where's my calculator? Yeah, it's that many.
Number of friends I've made (more than acquaintances): 0. Zip. Nada. Zilch.
Number of churches we've attended: 4
Number of churches that feel just right: 0. Zip. Nada. Zilch.
Number of times I've watched Kung Fu Panda: Again, where is that calculator? (That's just today)
Number of times Boy has ridden the school bus since beginning of November: 1 (I have driven him every morning and every afternoon otherwise)
Level of my frustration and loneliness (on a scale of 1-10): 13 and mounting
Number of months since I had sex with my husband: 5 and counting (it was late July the last time)
And now I'm going to go pick up my son from school. Again.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The numbers
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22 comments:
Making friends is hard for me so I completely sympathize with your plight. Sometimes life sucks.
On the church thing, I'll tell you what has worked for me. Keep in mind though that your mileage may vary. Think about the qualities that made your old church a good fit for you. What is important to you that made it right for you? Everybody's answer to that will be different. For me, it was liberal theology, small but active congregation, and good children's program for N. Once you've set your criteria it should help you narrow down the possibilities. Also, unless it is one of your important criteria, don't limit yourself to one denomination.
So sorry that you're so frustrated and lonely.
Would a {hug} help?
But heck, if things go really sour for the auto biz, I could maybe be moving into yer subdivision. . .
I wish I had the right thing to say, but I'm not sure it would help. Your frustration comes through so loudly here, and I can understand the validity of it. I hope some of those numbers start dwindling soon.
Western Michigan is soooo very much better than where you've relocated. While on active duty I spent a fair amount of time in the LP even though assigned to a base near Sault Ste. Marie. I'd give up this California life in a heartbeat for Michigan if only I could convince Wifey to leave the kids and the grandchild. This is only wishful thinking. But oh, how I'd love to have a sailboat on Lake Michigan.
Is there a new comers club where you're now living? Misery, as they say, loves company. Bet you'd get connected pronto with others like yourself if you joined that group. Good luck.
Bunny,
These numbers are Harsh! Especially the number of times you have had to stomach Kung Fu Panda.
Have faith. Things will get better.
Gah. None of that is good.
Any of the recent Michigan refugees look like friend material?
My best friends here are moving TO Michigan, ironically. I'm preparing be in "hundreds of acquaintances but no friends" mode again. It takes me a long while. I'm sad about it.
wow i hope things go better. i have been where i am my whole life and i really do not have any great close friends- it gets f'n lonely too! i hope you can at least do something nice for yourself soon!
~vie
Geez... the only assvice I can give you is to chop up the piggie's hay (use scissors), soak his pellets & he should manage just fine. [Yes, those teeth grow like mad!]
After all he has a complete set of molars & premolars in the rear...
Gah.... you mentioned the guinea pig incident on my site a bit ago and I kept meaning to say something to you. Mainly just offer you HUGE HUGE ((((hugs))))
I hope 2009 is a much better one for you hon, on all accounts (the house selling, the sex, finding a church....).
xo
Well one of those things are very nice - caring for the guinea pig. And some are just unfortunate - car repairs, motorcycle repairs, lack of internet, etc. But Bunny, a couple of those are seriously rough - 5 months without sex and the feelings of loneliness. I hope at least some of the things on your list take a turn for the better really soon!
4 churches and no friends? Those must be pretty bad churches. I hope you have better luck finding one with cool people.
I can't go that long without sex. Sorry, but I would have ended the relationship. Even if it was one sided, just me doing him, it's better than nothing.
You have more patience than I do.
That hurt my head. I can't imagine how you feel. I never say the right things so it seems so I'll just offer some lame e-hugs to you. ((hugs)) I hope things pick up and go better for you, soon.
I'm just going to echo the "I wish I knew what to say but don't so here's a {{hug}}" comments.
Having to make new friends sucks... and as great as online friends are, sometimes you just need that face to face time. Keep searching and getting yourself out there.... it HAS to get better, right?
lalana
The older one gets the harder it is to make real friends. Southerners tend to be a little clanish. They (we) tend to be wary of someone from the North. It takes time. I'm sure it is no fun being in a new town and alone.
Doctor Troll would need more information to solve the situation. But he suspects the BIG NEW stressor is the unsold unrented Michigan abode. And the stress from that is coloring the rest of your situation darker.
Seem to recall that the hubster ran off friends, didn't like sex, and was fussy about Churches back in Michigan too
Anyway, I hope the BIG and small problems go away.
Making friends is tough, and finding a church/synagogue is similarly difficult. Any possibilities of sex at home? Any prospects for sex with someone other than the husband? No sex for that long is too long....Good luck. Also, I didn't realize you were an attorney; I am too.
Good Evening Bunny,
Hoping things look better for you soon!
Aw, how sad. Sorry to hear about that. I hope things get better soon.
South Carolina is a shit hole.
Wow, Anonymous, that is so helpful.
There are indeed crummy parts of South Carolina, but much of it is beautiful. Charleston is halfway cosmopolitan and the beaches can't be beat.
While there are sucky parts, I don't think the whole state should be labeled as you as did.
Oh Bunny. I go away for a while and things fall apart.
Why did you move there again????
You have the house in Michigan You have the family in Michigan. You have friends in Michigan.
I bet you can even get laid in Michigan!
sounds like a no-brainer to me!
ok, I feel the pain of this post seriously - as I transplanted myself to SC as well a few years ago... hell, I'm still searching for a consistent best-friend... or even someone who doesn't look like you've just slapped them when you mention how you really would prefer Indian food to pizza and beer... true, there's a very good foodie scene here... and Charleston does try to be artsy... but there's a lot in this state to give someone pause... heck, I've been on pause for 3 years now... *ugh*
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