Bunny Wisdom

For lack of a substantive post:

1. Don't sweat the petty things; don't pet the sweaty things
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!
3. The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people
4. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but be unable to say it
5. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
6. I doubt, therefore I might be
7. Age is a high price to pay for maturity
8. Procrastination is the fine art of keeping up with yesterday
9. Women like silent men -- we think they are listening
10. A fool and his money are soon partying
11. Always take two Christian Reformed guys fishing; if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer (maybe you have to be from around here to get that one)
12. Beauty is fleeting; ugly is forever (thank you Judge Judy!)
13. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car
14. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege
15. Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
16. Parenting: you work your ass off to teach them to walk and talk, then spend the rest of their childhood telling them to sit down and shut up
17. If you think things can't get worse, you lack sufficient imagination.
18. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard
19. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
20. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool
21. If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?
22. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
23. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others
24. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand
25. Remember, sex is like air: it may not seem important until you aren’t getting any