Is it a sex blog? A mommy blog? A bitch & moan blog? Um, . . . yeah. This is my place to be totally honest. In my real life, I feel like I'm always lying to somebody about something. Here, I am totally honest. Brutally so. However, no matter what bad things I say about my kids, I adore them and would never ever really, say, sell them on Ebay. The husband, often referred to as Spousehole, is another story. Oh yeah - if you are under 18 (or if you are my husband), please leave now.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

HNT - Black and Blue Redux

It was suggested that I post the full picture from last week, so here it is. Sorry if it feels like a rerun!


Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os at HNT_1

Shameless blegging: Go check out the Haiku (topic: regret) at All Atwitter and vote for the one you think is best. Of course, if you think mine is best, so much the better :-)

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

WTF Wednesday aka ". . . you don't really wanna mess with me tonight . . . "

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is back!

WTF . . .
. . . is with people who claim to be vegetarians because it is wrong to kill animals and eat the products derived therefrom, but then toast and eat ordinary grocery store (i.e., not special, vegan-store) marshmallows over a campfire? Do they not know that they are eating gelatin and that gelatin is derived from the bones, skin, hooves, and tendons of dead animals? Or do they just make an exception because it doesn't look like an animal? I was a veggie myself for a time, so I feel justified in saying "BE CONSISTENT PEOPLE!" If you are a vegetarian because you don't want to eat animals, lay off the damn marshmallows. That means no rice crispie treats, no toasted marshmallows, no mallo cups, no Peeps. 'K? If you are a vegetarian only because it is healthier and are not taking a moral stand re: animals, have all the marshmallows you want.
P.S. This applies to Jell-O too, of course. Apparently some people think that because some gelatins are kosher they are vegetarian. My understanding is that because gelatin comes from hides, bones, and tendons and not FLESH, it is considered pareve: neither meat nor dairy. It may not be animal FLESH, but it is still derived from a dead animal that did not die of old age.


. . . is my problem today? I have a nasty, coughing-from-deep-down-inside cold AND terrible cramps. Hormones and a cold - yea! And to add to my misery: SNOW DAY! That's right - they cancelled school AGAIN. Something about slippery roads. Wimps.

. . . is with guys on "dating" sites (okay, I'm talking about AFF.com here) and such who only send a picture of their equipment, but not their face? And think that telling me that they have a big wang and nothing else is going to make me want to meet them? No, no, NO. I want to know a little about you as a person, I want a recent face picture, I want you to have some idea of proper spelling and grammar (typos are understandable), and treat me like a human being for goodness' sake! Men far outnumber women on these sites and you want to stand out from the crowd. Trust me, if you come off as having intelligence and good manners - you will stand out.

. . . is with my kid today? Boy got to sleep in until 8:30 because of the snow day. Then he got up, took off his pajamas, and has been buck nekkid ever since. I ask if he would like to put some clothes on and he says "No thank you." It's 10 degrees (F) outside, 65 (F) in the house. He's got to be freezing. It's windy and sometimes we can even feel it in the house. Last night I could feel every strong gust blow past me as I lay in bed. This old house (83 years old) leaks like a sieve.

. . . is with Spousehole? When he came home for lunch, I said I needed to run to the store for a couple things while he was there with the kids. I was planning to take his vehicle, since it has the snow cleaned off and was still warm from him just coming here from work. He says "No, the roads are pretty bad yet. You would be better off walking." Walking? Uh huh. The actual temps are in single digits (F) and windchills are -20 to -30. Wind gusts up to 50 mph. Sidewalks mostly not shoveled because no one wants to go out in the cold and shovel. Roads - slippery but plowed. I'm such a dumbass, I actually walked as far as the end of the block before saying "Fuck this" and turning around and getting in Spousehole's car. The roads were not bad at all in the 5.5 blocks from our house to the store. I think the car was the better idea. The eggs probably would have frozen on the walk home :-)

Pink U + UR Hand


A bonus video - just because this is SO hot! Eduardo Cruz - Cosas Que Contar

Eduardo is Monica and Penelope Cruz' little brother, that's why they are in the video. But that's not Monica that Penelope kisses at 4:20 or so; that's Mia Maestro.
The lyrics to Cosas Que Contar
I'm still here looking for something to bite
So much wind, so many ridiculous people
I'm still here, no doubt everything is real
I'm still walking among hard notes

And kissing you every day
without knowing who I am
You make night in my life
A confusion

And kissing you every day
without knowing who
I keep your smiles
Tell me what you do... yeah!!

I'm still here, scared
by something that isn't
today this sky and ground unite
I'm still here, it turns out everything goes on feet
So much time, so many ridiculous people

And kissing you every day
without knowing who I am
You make night in my life
A confusion

And kissing you every day
without knowing who
I keep your smiles
Tell me what you do... yeah!!

Without knowing who I am

And kissing you every day
without knowing who I am
You make night in my life
A confusion

And kissing you every day
without knowing who
I keep your smiles
Tell me what you do... yeah!!
--------

Sigo aquí en busca de algo que morder
Cuanto viento cuanta gente absurda
Sigo aquí sin duda todo es real
Sigo andando entre notas duras

Y besarte cada día
Sin saber quien soy
Anocheces en mi vida
Una confusión

Y besarte cada día
Sin saber quien soy
Yo me guardo tus sonrisas
Dime que haces tu….yeah!!

Sigo aquí me asusta
Algo que, no es
Hoy el cielo y este suelo se juntan
Sigo aquí resulta que todo va sobre pies
Cuanto tiempo cuanta gente absurda

Y besarte cada día
Sin saber quien soy
Anocheces en mi vida
Una confusión

Y besarte cada día
Sin saber quien soy
Yo me guardo tus sonrisas
Dime que haces tu …yeah!!

Sin saber quien soy

Y besarte cada día
Sin saber quien soy
Anocheces en mi vida
Una confusión

Y besarte cada día
Sin saber quien soy
Yo me guardo tus sonrisas
Dime que haces tu…yeah!!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

TMI Tuesday

It's TMI Tuesday! Click the "I kiss and tell" icon to come play with us!!


1. Would you stay in a relationship with an physically unfaithful partner?

It depends. If the outside relationship is over and I believe that my partner would not cheat again, maybe. If my partner is unrepentant and likely to keep cheating, he's gone.

2. Would you stay in a relationship with an emotionally unfaithful partner?

I am in a relationship with an emotionally unfaithful partner, but it won't last.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how important is the recognition of birthdays to you (your's, a friend's, a partner's)?

10 - Very, very important. In my family birthdays have always been a big deal, so I make a big deal about others' birthdays and expect the same in return. Spousehole used to go all out for my birthdays, but stopped after a few years and now rarely even gets me a gift or a card.

4. When you have a "toe-curling" orgasm, do your does curl up, or down?

Down :-)

5. Every one has a pet peeve, tell me one of yours.

Smoking. Can't stand it, can't stand being around people who reek of stale smoke. Yuck, yuck, yuck!

Edit: Another pet peeve is people who despite constant crowing about males' superior spatial skills AND despite having a diaper genie in constant use in their home for 7 years AND despite there being perfectly clear directions on the bloody label, cannot replace the diaper genie bag refill properly. O.M.G. Just look at it - it clearly won't work properly the way you put it in, will it? It's not M.F. rocket science!

Bonus (as in optional):Name someone famous who you have no sexual interest in but would have sex with just to brag about it?
George W. Bush, just to prove he's a total slimeball who doesn't live the values he preaches.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Mute Monday - Collections

I collect rabbit stuff and books. Lots and lots and lots of books. Here is some of my rabbit stuff:




My son collects Thomas the Tank engine things. He has the wooden, metal Take-A-Long, and electric plastic Thomas train sets and lots and lots of accessories:




My parents are antique collectors and dealers, so I grew up in a home filled with fantastic collections of stuff. I've handled some unique, amazing stuff. My dad has some way, way cool things, but a lot of it is so unique that if I tell you about it here people would find the real world me in nothing flat. One of my mom's collections is less unique (she has others that are more specific), so here's something about that. My mother collects Nippon and Satsuma. This is not part of her collection, but is representative of what she collects:


Weird collections from the 'net:
(click the picture for more info on each one)



Boy who collects vacuum cleaners:


Mac & Cheese boxes:



b

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Chief Superintendents New Album - In Stores Soon!


This is the CD insert for my new band, Chief Superintendent.
Our debut album that incredible, magical instrument will be in stores soon!

Okay, so I really don't have a band. Not many bands have need of an out-of-practice oboist with a terrifyingly bad singing voice. Oh well. But you too can PRETEND to have a band, by hooking up with this meme:

Create Your Own Album!

1. Click on this link. The title of the page is the name of your band.

2. Click on this link. The last four words of the final quotation on the page are the title of your album.

3. Click on this link. The third picture is your album cover.

4. Add your band name and title to the picture, and you're practically the 2nd coming of the Beatles. (Or the third, if you count Oasis.)

I've seen this at a few blogs. The ones are remember are Polt's, Trueself's, Tajalude's and The Silent Male's. Check 'em out!! Then go make your own!

Sunday Memes

Unconscious Mutterings, the Free Association meme

  1. Booze :: Cruise

  2. Counter :: Insurgency

  3. Action :: Jackson

  4. Trial :: Lawyer

  5. Wheelchair :: Basketball

  6. 1-800 :: NO HAIRS (I hear that damn radio commercial all the time)

  7. Chop :: Suey

  8. Relatives :: AAAACK!

  9. Bed sheets :: 600 thread count

  10. Funnel :: CAKES (omg - that sounds so yummy right now


BTW Sunday

~Phonescape~

By the way...

How many landlines (telephones) do you have in your house? (In use, that is.)

Four. Three cordless and one corded wall phone (handy if the power is out)

If you have landlines, do you plan on keeping them in the near future?

Yes. I have DSL and they go hand-in-hand

Do you ever call long distance on your landline?

Yes, although we don't have long-distance service on it. We buy long-distance phone cards, 1000 minutes at a time. That lasts us about 3 years.

Do you own a cell phone?

It's 2008 - yes, we have cell phones

Do you consider your cell phone your main line or do you use it strictly for traveling and emergencies?

Whenever I am out of the house and for texting. And for talking with guys who aren't my husband. Otherwise I use my landline.

What brand is your cell phone? What fun features does your cell phone have?

T-Mobile Nokia and it is OLD. Seriously old. The company was still Voicestream when I got the phone - LOL. B/W screen, can't take or receive photos (though if you send me I can get it online. I only recently learned that.) I can IM on it via AOL (I rarely do). It has a few games, some decent built-in ringtones (I can't download ringtones either.)

Sad thing is, I have a Razr that my SIL only used for a while before she switched to using just one cell for work and personal stuff. It's locked to AT&T/Cingular and I have T-Mobile. If I would just send it in to one of the "unlocking" services, I could just pop my SIM chip in and I would be good to go. I just keep not getting around to it.

Can you imagine your daily life without a cell phone?

I'd do okay. I do get frustrated sometimes if I leave my phone at home when I go out. But most of the time I could get by without it.

Blast from the past...

Do you ever remember being on a party line?

No, but I knew people who had one

Do you remember when your phone was owned by the telephone company?

Yes. My parents had phone company phones when I was a kid. They wouldn't get me my own extension in my room because it cost too much to add an extension.

Do you remember having a telephone number with a prefix that was part letters?
Ex. MU9-0000.

My mother could only remember her father's phone number by the letter prefix.

Last question...Overall, do you think we're better off for having cell phones or not?

Overall, we are better off. I think it is wonderful to be able to call the police while, for instance, the flasher is still standing in front of you masturbating in the Walgreen's parking lot (actual experience) or call for assistance in the immediate aftermath of an accident. It's wonderful for parents to be able to keep track of their (older) children via cell. Cell phones in and of themselves are great things. It's the people who misuse them that drive me insane. Talking in restaurants and movie theatres (usually much too loudly) annoys me. When I was working, I hated my cell phone sometimes because sometimes I just wanted to be unavailable. If I had to drive to court in another county, sometimes I just wanted some peace and quiet. I didn't want to spend the whole drive talking to my secretary or a client or opposing counsel on some other case. When you work a 12-15 hour day, those pockets of quiet time are precious. Even now, if I don't want to be disturbed, I turn my phone off completely (I know there are people who just gasped at the very thought. The people who aren't sure even HOW to turn their phone off, much less why anyone would ever want to do so.)

So overall we are better off with cell phones, but we need to use them politely in public.

Friday, January 25, 2008

The Killers ARE NOT SKA

I was shocked and dismayed to talk with a teenager the other day who had never heard of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. What is this world coming to? Kid was saying how much he likes the Killers (Mr. Brightside, etc.) and ska generally. I was all "Oh no you didn't - The Killers are NOT ska. I like them, but they aren't ska." How did that boy think THAT was ska. Do people not educate their young in these vital matters? He did have an appreciation of Mustard Plug (local boys - their former drummer is a buddy), so I knew the kid was redeemable. I loaned him some Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I figured he should have AT LEAST recognized this one:

My Baby Girl is Three Today


Three years ago today, my tiny baby girl came into this world screaming and hollering. She hasn't slowed down since. Here is her story:

In late 2003, early 2004, we decided that we really shouldn't have another child, as Boy and his autism therapies, etc., require a lot of attention. We sold or gave away all my maternity clothes, baby toys and equipment, and baby clothes.

In May 2004, my husband (once again) had no Mother's Day gift for me, so he gave me a roll in the hay instead. Lovely. It had been at least 8 months since the last time. You're stunned, I know.

Three weeks later, we took Boy to the park. As I went to use the park bathroom, I was thinking that my period should be starting anytime now. I had a little cramping and very sore breasts. But my period was late and it's never late. I thought, hmmm, my breasts hurt like this when I was pregnant; but I couldn't be pregnant, we haven't . . . oh sh*t, that's right. We did." When we got home, I surreptitiously took a pregnancy test. Positive. Damn.

I didn't tell Spousehole then. He was trying to get Boy to sleep and I needed to absorb this development before dealing with him anyway. I was truly scared to tell him. He likes life to be neat, orderly, and predictable. Another unplanned pregnancy was none of the above. I chose to wait until morning.

He surprised me. He was stunned, just like me, but took it quite well. And just like before, he couldn't keep his big mouth shut. I wanted to keep it quiet this time, not share our news with the world at just a few weeks. I mean, stuff happens. You don't want to announce your happy news, just to have to explain a few weeks later that it didn't work out. But nooo, he had to tell my parents (who were unhappy, to say the least. My mother felt that she had nearly lost me last pregnancy and she thought this one would kill me for sure), his parents, and random people on the street. Like impregnating me made him some sort of manly-man. (No, it made him a jerky man because he had refused to use a condom. He still has never, ever, worn a condom. Not even for "practice" as a teenager or college student. He was a virgin when he met me, so he hadn't needed one. TMI? Yeah, I guess so.)

This pregnancy was a total 180 from Boy's. I threw up once or twice, had a week or so of nausea, then smooth sailing until December 2004. My due date was February 14, 2005. I went in for a routine check-up and non-stress test the week before Christmas. Spousehole was along (second time the whole pregnancy - he went to almost every visit with Boy; I guess the novelty had worn off). To my surprise, the non-stress test showed I was having regular, fairly strong, contractions. The OB sent me to the hospital. I spent all day there as they gave me drugs to try to stop the contractions and keep me from going into full-blown labor. They stopped the contractions and put me on bed rest.

Bed rest - hah! I had a four-year-old, I hadn't finished my Christmas shopping, I had baking to do, meals to prepare, etc. I couldn't just sit around! Dr. B, my beloved OB, said I had better if I wanted to make it to full term. I also had to take the most horrible drug EVER. It keeps the contractions at bay, but also makes your heart race and keeps you from sleeping. Great. Pregnant, on speed, and forced to lay still. More joy. I was allowed to get up to use the bathroom and take one shower every two days. Hell on freakin' earth. Matthew had to do the Christmas shopping (I hope everyone wanted a no-thought-whatsoever gift card), cookies did not get baked, candies did not get made. I did get up and make dinner each night though. I just wanted one good meal a day. Shhh - don't tell Dr. B.

I couldn't take bed rest until February 14, so Dr. B. ordered a test for lung development and as soon as it showed Girl's lungs were ready for action, I had a planned c-section. Oh, the wonders of the planned c-section! So much better than the unplanned c-section. I walked to the OR on my own, joked with the doctors and nurses, helped catch my husband when he nearly fainted watching the docs give me an epidural - all much better than a 5-in-the-morning-your-baby's-going-to-die c-section.

When they plucked her out, all 5 lbs, 8 oz. of her, she had the cord wrapped around her neck. Twice - just like her brother. Glad I didn't try a vbac. She gave a lusty cry and then glared at me over the curtain (they put up a curtain so you can't watch them fooling around in your guts. Apparently some people find that off-putting. Whatever.) A little girl with a big mouth and an attitude. I was in love. It was 11:15 a.m. on January 25, 2005.

No NICU, no attempted breast-feeding nightmare (didn't work the first time, didn't even try this time), just a healthy little girl. I was up and walking that night, didn't need IV pain meds (just Tylenol!), didn't need a boatload of antibiotics, and I felt great. I was able to go home (okay, my parents' house - they don't have stairs) after just 2.5 days. Yippee!

Today Girl is three years old. She is beautiful and smart. Too smart for her own good. She fights with her brother, then gives him kisses and hugs. She has been developmentally spot-on but remains quite small. People always marvel at how she's "SO TINY!" It was fun at first, but now it's just annoying. She's not a midget, people, she's just small. I'm 5'2" - where do you think she gets it?