Friday!

I took this picture of my daughter yesterday at the children's museum. She was looking into a triangular mirrored tunnel and I snapped this from the other end. I love how it turned out. No editing.

Spousehole left yesterday evening to go stay with his bro & SIL on the other side of the state. He has a job interview over there this morning. A headhunter sent his resume to an entity over there. They called the headhunter right back and said "We don't have an opening really, but we might be willing to make an opening for this guy. How soon can we see him?" So that's good. Apparently geographic information systems programming is not a common skill. Who knew he was good for something?

Spousehole still has a job here, but we don't exactly know what's going to happen with that. He works for a company that is contracted to a local governmental unit to provide IT services. The governmental unit has put the contract out for bid and is currently evaluating bids and will award the contract soon. It's possible Spousehole's company will continue with the contract, but we aren't holding our breath as the mayor and city council are all about "change" right now. Even if another company gets the contract, they will likely hire quite a few of the current contractor's employees since they know the job, the local politics, etc. But probably not everyone and they may keep people around only long enough to learn the lay of the land from them and then bring in their own people. We just don't know, so Spousehole's keeping his options open and looking into other positions. Though I have to think that if the wealthiest county in the state is willing to consider creating an opening for him, Spousehole's skills are pretty valuable right where he is. We'll see.

We have discussed what to do if he takes a job on that side of the state. He would likely get an apartment with his unmarried brother the chef (who currently lives with their sister). The kids and I would stay put and he would come back on weekends to be with us. That gets Spousehole a place to live and gets baby brother out of sister's condo once and for all (he's been there a couple years and is a little too complacent.) That's not workable forever, but would work for a while. If we decide we want to be together, I put the house on the market and move over there whenever we sell the house (the market in Michigan SUCKS right now). If not, we formalize living our separate lives.

(Edit, 1:08 p.m. Friday) Spousehole just called to say he is headed back here. The interview(s) went well. They took him to breakfast AND lunch at some fancy-schmanzy places. He feels good about it and the headhunter guy called him soon after the interviews ended and said "they liked you; they really, really liked you." But you know how headhunters can be. They are enthusiastic about everything. They are like any other salespeople - just they sell people instead of goods.

It's Friday. I hope everyone has a great weekend. A little par-tay music to get us started:

HNT

See what looks like a shadow on the upper right of my fat ass? Not a shadow - bruises from my fall on Sunday. It actually looks much better than it did. Want to see some of the bruising? Then click the picture. If you don't have a strong stomach, however, don't click it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os at

WTF Wednesday

WTF . . .

. . . ever happened to getting keys copied for cheap? Spousehole's keys disappeared (Boy had them last). He replaced the keys for work and church and the house. We copied the keys for the older mommyvan with no problem. But then we wanted to copy the key for my current mommyvan (still old - 2002 - but not as ancient as the last one). "No can do" was the response from "the helpful hardware man." He sent me to my local Ford dealer. They want $75 to copy the damn key for the mommyvan. That's not including a key fob for unlocking the doors, just the key itself! Apparently almost all cars made this century have a computer chip in the key. When you put the key in the ignition, the car's computer must recognize the chip in the key or the car won't start, even if the key is physically correct. Makes is harder for some schmuck valet or auto repair person to copy your key and steal your car. But makes it f*cking expensive to replace your key if your Spousehole and son conspire to lose the damn key! I actually have another Ford fob and can get that programmed to unlock my van doors for less than half the cost of getting a freakin' key made. I also learned that those computer chips in the key can DIE and leave you stranded! My dad's golf buddy drives a Caddy with the "smart" key. He got in his car after a round of golf and the ignition wouldn't budge. It turned out the teeny-tiny little power source in the key died. Fortunately they were golfing in town and the friend's wife drove over with the spare key, which had not yet died. He also discovered the high cost of key replacement (about the same as Ford's ridiculous fee) in the age of "smart" keys. He vowed not to buy another Cadillac, but it is my understanding that these "smart" keys are the norm now, so we are all screwed. If you are like me and plan to drive a car into the ground, you can figure on replacing your keys at that ridiculous rate sooner or later when the key dies. What a scam. To me this makes sense for higher end vehicles that people might actually go to the trouble of copying a key to steal. If there's a ton of people out there stealing 2002 Ford Windstars, I haven't heard about it.

. . . is Dear Abby's problem? (Edited to add: Jeanne Phillips writes Dear Abby. She is the 50-60-ish daughter of the original Dear Abby, Pauline Phillips, who is in her 80s and suffers from Alzheimer's Disease.)

Recent letter and her (Jeanne Phillips') response:

DEAR ABBY: There seems to be an awful lot of women exposing themselves on the Internet in graphic sexual fashion. My wife says that men degrade themselves by looking at them.My question to you is, what is more degrading? Looking at them, or women exposing themselves? -- WONDERING IN PUYALLUP, WASH.

DEAR WONDERING: For a woman to post graphic sexual images for people she doesn't know to view strikes me as more degrading because it indicates that she thinks she has little else to offer.

However, for a married man to view those images could also be considered degrading -- and threatening -- to his wife. Many women have written to me because their husbands spend more time looking at porn on the Internet than having a sex life in their own bedroom. In other words, the practice became an addiction.

So, women who post images of themselves are degrading themselves. Women who are married to men who look at the pictures are degraded. But men, whether they look at the pictures or post their own, are not degrading themselves?

First of all, I take offense at Ms. Philips' (Dear Abby) assumption that all women who post pictures of their bodies on the internet are degrading themselves. Many are celebrating themselves and the sexuality - how is that degrading? Sure, there are people who are desperate for attention and think that their body is all they have to offer. But that doesn't necessarily apply to all or even most women who post pictures on the internet.

If a man's viewing of these pictures becomes a substitute for a healthy sex life with his partner, that is disrespectful to his partner, but likely there are other problems in the relationship. A man isn't forced to look at these images just because they exist. He still makes the choice. He chooses to not have a normal sex life with his partner. But it isn't the fault of the women who post pictures!

Am I overreacting?

. . . is with naming a children's magazine "Playmate"? I know there is a perfectly reasonable use of the term "playmate" in conjunction with children. I use it all the time to refer to my children's playmates. But a magazine of that name just makes me think of Playboy Playmates and nekkid pictures. I laughed upon learning my son would be receiving this magazine and explained to Spousehole why I found the name amusing. He accused me of always thinking about sex (duh!) and being a filthy pervert. I resented that, of course, because I am a clean and well-groomed pervert, thankyouverymuch. I may be a pervert with a dirty mind, but at least I have a sense of humor.

TMI!

Wow - my favorite LifeGuard supplied this week's questions! You can copy them from him or at our regular TMI spot. Come play with us!

1. Which one turns you on more ink or piercing? Why?

Probably piercings, but it's more like which turns me off less. A few tats here and there are not a problem for me, but sleeves or tats covering large portions of skin don't really work for me. Not sure why. Lingering prejudice from my "goody-two-shoes" days, I suppose. Besides, how could a woman not love a man with piercings - he can endure pain and wears jewelry! I dated a guy in law school with his tongue pierced. O. M. G. The things he could do with that tongue stud . . .

2. What ink do you have? If none, what would you get and and where?

Zero, zip, nada. I don't think I would ever get any ink. I'm someone who rethinks things constantly, so no matter what I chose, I would come to regret it. I'm just not good with permanency.

3. What piercing do you have? If none, what would you get and and where?

Just my ears. Two holes on the left, one on the right. I am intrigued by the idea of getting a nipple piercing, but will probably never do it. I've always liked the idea of a diamond or sapphire in my nose, but that would look silly now on a 40-year-old woman.

4. Any other adornments you like to do for your lover or have then do for you?

Nothing I can think of. Well, I would like it if Spousehole had an ear pierced, but it would likely just contribute to others thinking he is gay (happens all the time).

5. Of all of the above is there anything that is an immediate turn-off?

Misogynistic or violence related tattoos, gang tats, most neck tats, poorly done tats. Facial piercings beyond nose, lip or eyebrow. Too much of anything. In this case, less is more.

Bonus (as in optional): If money/work place rules/your life/whatever {sic} what ALL would you do to your body in the name of sexual or just general adornment?

Maybe nipples pierced or a tramp stamp. That's really it. While a tongue piercing might be fun, I'm such a freak about dental health that I would never do it.

Tuesday Place Saver (Waiting for TMI)

Your Lust Quotient: 70%

You are a very lustful person - and it sometimes gets the better of you! You know how to hold back, but you hardly ever do.

How Much Lust Do You Have?

You Are an Indifferent Ex

You're not one of those girls who thinks about her exes - or even remembers them "Love 'em and Leave 'em" is your motto. And your break ups tend to be a clean break. It's a nice strategy to have, and guys appreciate your total lack of emotional baggage. But just a little reminder: it is okay to remember the good parts of your past, even with exes.

What Kind of Ex-Girlfriend Are You?

You Are Low Maintenance

Otherwise known as "too good to be true" You're one laid back chica - and men love that! Just remember that no good guy likes a doormat. So if you find your self going along to get along... Stop yourself and put up a little bit of a fight.

Are You A High Maintenance Woman?

Still Alive; Kicking - Not So Much

Hey all, thanks for the well-wishes. I'm am getting around better today than yesterday, but EVERYTHING hurts. I am such a whiny baby. I can't turn my head from side-to-side, so I have to turn from my waist. That's good for my abs and obliques, right? See, there's a bright side to everything.

In addition to not feeling much like blogging right now, Spousehole had the day off today (the perks of working for a company that works for the government - you get to share their holidays!) Until this afternoon, he was breathing down my (very sore) neck from the time I got up. His idea of sympathy: "Those bruises look like Hell. Hurry up and get some clothes on so I don't have to see them anymore." You can understand how I fell in love with such a sweet man, right?

Anyway, he took the Girl to her favorite place (Chuck E. Cheese) for some Daddy-daughter bonding time. I couldn't go, as I had to babysit the neighbor boy this afternoon. He was upset because Girl wasn't here to play with and, as he told me, I'm "no fun at all."

Staying Alive

Falling Hard

No, I haven't fallen in love or fallen for a scam. I just fell. And man does it hurt!

I was going out to my mommyvan for something this morning and slipped on the ice. Which might not have been so bad, except that I on the top step of our porch steps at the time. Our concrete porch steps. First my (ginormous) butt hit, then my upper back, then all of me slid down the steps, scraping my back all the way. Since I was just popping out to my car for something, I didn't have a coat on or anything, just a t-shirt and jeans (I had been cooking breakfast and I don't dress for church until right before we go.) I had my right hand on the handrail as I stepped down, but clearly that wasn't enough.

O. M. G. the pain! Spousehole heard me yell as I fell, but when he didn't hear anything after that he figured it everything was okay. In fact, I was yelling for him, but since I was facing away from the house and it was windy is it likely that he couldn't hear me. He then heard the small yelp I made as I finally pulled myself up and started back toward the house. He opened the door as I got to the top of the steps and helped me into the house.

He was actually really good about me not wanting to go to church. Can you imagine trying to sit on a wooden pew for an hour+ after that? No. Thank. You. The bruising starts at my butt (the worst of it, really) and proceeds up my back to my shoulder blades. Even sitting in/on a padded and upholstered chair is painful. I've spent most of the day standing or laying on my stomach on my bed. Not fun.

At least I didn't break anything or hit my head too hard. It could have been much, much worse. Enough with the "poor me" crap. Go read something fun somewhere! Or enjoy this video:

Finger Eleven - Falling On



Staind - Falling

Friday!

What a crap week this has been. No, not so much in the poop sense, just overall yucky. Boy was just a major PITA this week, in terms of getting ready for and going to school. A little asshole, truth be told. But you really don't want all those details. They are just sad and aggravating.

Last night, VD for those who may have forgotten, was good. We actually got a babysitter (not the 15-yr-old my husband lusts after, but her best friend) and made it home when we told her we would be home! Minor miracle there. The kids had a ball having someone new to pester. We actually had another babysitter lined up before this one, but he was going to have to leave his pizza job early to babysit for us. He was a "if you can't get anyone else, I'll do it" babysitter. So after we got the eventual babysitter, Spousehole needed to contact pizza boy. He's a high school senior and they aren't allowed to talk on their phones during school, so I suggested Spousehole text him (they are allowed texts at their school). Spousehole said "Um, I don't know what carrier he uses so I can't text him." WTF? I asked what the hell he was talking about. It turns out that Spousehole, Mr. Technology, Mr. Master's Degree in Computer Science, does not know how to send a text message!! O. M. G. The only way he was ever sent a text message is by using an email - you know: 6165551234@carrieraddress.com. Holy guacamole! How can a guy with his tech cred not know how to send a frickin' text message??!?!?! ROFLMFAO!!! I taught him how to send a text on his way-way-way nicer phone (practically brand-new LG something-or-another) than I have.

Our hosts for dinner have a ginormous farm north of us where they raise horses. A particular rare-ish breed. Gorgeous home, gorgeous horses. I brought the appetizers - garlic hummus and bagel chips and prosciutto -wrapped asparagus. Yumm! I read a thing recently that said that it is rude to pack up your leftovers and bring them home, so I reluctantly left the leftover garlic hummus with our hosts. Time to make more!

I did get flowers for VD. Here's a lousy picture of them:


They weren't from Spousehole, of course. They were from my Daddy. He always gets my mom, my sister and me stuff for VD. His birthday is February 14, so he tries to deflect attention away from himself. (He turned 72 yesterday. You'd never know it though - he's very active and BUSY.)

Spousehole never once said Happy VD or anything and never touched me (i.e., no hug/kiss/pat on the back/handshake/anything) all day or night. He did get a card from the kids to me and had them sign it. Better than nothing, I guess. I gave him some candy and told him that while I don't like him most of the time, I'll always love him, sort of. (I'm such a romantic!) His reply: Cool - I didn't know they made tart Sweethearts!" Girl spent the whole day saying "Happy Bawentine Day!" to everyone she met, including animals. It was very cute, in it's own little toddler-with-a-speech-impediment way.

Speaking of Spousehole, he's had "casual day" all week at work, because their cubicles had to come down for new carpet installation and now they are putting them back up. God forbid they should hire cheap labor for this - noooo, get the salaried, degreed employees to do that work! Here's a pic of him getting ready to leave for work:
Apparently, his duties at work have been expanded. He is not only a GIS/web/database programmer, he is also a Nerf sniper! I asked about the need for the gun and he explained that "There's been a major arms build-up at work. My team needs to be reminded who's in charge." Alrighty then.

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!