Last night's dream

(HNT is down two)

I dreamed of him last night. I've not before, so it must be a sign that it's been too long. Dreamed of his masculine chest, his very hairy legs, the five o'clock shadow that forms 10 minutes after he's shaved. The contrast between his skin and mine, representing the extremes of the Caucasian spectrum. The gleam in his eye as he tells me about his fantasies, the things that would horrify his strait-laced wife. The childlike enthusiasm elicited by my willingness to make the fantasies come true. The smile, OMG, the smile that could get me to do almost anything. The sigh that escapes his lips when I tease his ass with my tongue, the immense pleasure he gets from doing the same to me, his finger sliding in as his tongue moves to pleasure other areas, as I suck and stroke his thick, rock-hard shaft . . .

Yeah, it's been way too long.

New Poll Re: # of Sexual Partners

HNT is down one post!!

I've touched on this issue before (what counts as having "had sex" with someone, etc.). Then this week's TMI included a question asking participants to guesstimate how many partners the average person of the participant's gender has had.

These are the motivation behind the poll questions to the right in my sidebar.

PLEASE NOTE: This poll is completely anonymous. I have no way of knowing who answered or what his/her answers were. My traffic stats aren't that specific (and even if they were, I have neither the time nor the inclination to figure it out.) Your answers will not be traced back to you!!

The first question asks for your number of sexual partners, counting only intercourse. I threw the word "voluntary" in there because I believe that one should never count instances where one was not a voluntary participant. Spousehole and I have been around and around on that one. I do not count the s.o.b. who raped me as someone with whom I have had sex. That was not sex, it was violence. There's a huge difference. Spousehole disagrees, saying "Part of his body was inside your body. That's sex whether you consented or not." I have pointed out that this is exactly the point of view that gets women in some cultures shunned or even stoned to death for the "crime" of being raped. So, short story long - only include voluntary interactions, please. (Yes, I know Spousehole can be a Neanderthal, you needn't remind me.)

The second questions asks for your number of sexual partners, including not only those with whom one has had intercourse, but also those with whom one has made it "third base" or so. Please include all such partners regardless of gender, as it is my poll, damn it, and I don't want to separate out same gender/different gender questions. Too damn confusing. If you were both girls and you touched each other's "hooha" in a sexual manner it counts, ok?

Thanks for playing and participating in my totally unscientific poll!!

HNT

Summer's sandal tan lines haven't faded completely!!

Why do we get half-nekkid? Want to join the fun? See Os at

Ringxiety or fauxcellarm - good to know it's not just me!

Halloween Goof (because I just won't grow up!)

What Your Halloween Habits Say About You

You're a friendly person, but not the life of the party. You like making someone else's day - and you'll dress up if you think of a really fun costume. You definitely think of yourself as someone who has a dark side. And part of having that dark side means not showing it. Your inner child is open minded, playful, and adventurous. You truly fear the dark side of humanity. You are a true misanthrope. You're logical, rational, and not easily effected. Not a lot scares you... especially when it comes to the paranormal. You are a total overachiever and workaholic. You're the type of person who plans their elaborate Halloween costume weeks in advance.

What's Your Halloween Personality?

I don't wanna grow up and you can't make me!!

stomps foot petulantly

Spousehole and I were riding in the mommyvan one evening and he had a paperback book that he was reading sitting on the dash in front of him. He took a corner at such an angle and speed that the book spun across the dash to the passenger side and slid gracefully into my lap. It was almost elegant, the way it moved. I said, doing my best little kid imitation “Ooooo - that was way cool! Do it again! Do it again!” punctuated with a little clap.

Spousehole, who had seemed to be in a good mood (for him) up to this point, was not amused.

“You are 40 years old now! When are you going to grow up?” I was shocked. Not by what he said, but that he had changed it from “You're somebody's mother now! When are you going to grow up?” which I've heard regularly for the last 7 years. Once again, I was reduced to explaining that it was just a goof, me trying to be funny, make light of a silly situation, and on and on.

Apparently, as Spousehole sees it, 40-year-old parents are to be “grown-ups” and are not allowed to have fun. Joking, laughing, lightening a mood – all for the immature and child-free. And God forbid I make a double entendre or any other statement that might be construed as risque. Definite evidence right there of my immaturity and lack of fitness to be a parent.

“Why do you have to be so bloody serious all the time?” I respond when Spousehole is intent on quashing my fun. “Life is serious and responsible adults are serious” is his reply.

Fuck that. An occasional joke, some well-placed laughter, a goofy exchange – none of these preclude my being a responsible parent and adult. It's not as though I'm constantly making jokes to avoid my responsibilities or duck out on my duties. Is it so wrong to want to raise my children in a home with laughter and happiness instead of doom and gloom? So long as the kids are clean, fed, and not dead, would it be so bad if they were also happy and relaxed? And Mom too? (He also thinks my playing with the children is a waste of my time. That's a whole other post right there.)

Ironically, one of the things that supposedly made Spousehole interested in me, way back when, was my sense of humor, my ability to keep the mood in my department light in spite of the fact that we dealt with extremely unhappy people all day (our governmental unit enforced child support and visitation orders in divorce, paternity, and neglect/abuse cases). I made him laugh and he liked that. Now it's just something else he wants to extinguish in me. Except when we're out with friends or at a dinner party or with his family or something - then my humor and wit are prized qualities once again.

I'd like your thoughts.

Do you have to give up humor to be a grown-up?

TMI Tuesday!

It's TMI Tuesday! Click the "I kiss and tell" icon to come play with us!!


1. Wash up, cuddle or fall asleep?

Varies, depending on the situation. Ideally, cuddle AND fall asleep. But I haven't had that in a long, long time. Wash up and skedaddle before his wife comes home or my husband gets suspicious has been the order of the day . . .

2. Have you ever faked orgasms?

Duh. I'm a girl. Sometimes it just isn't going to happen and if your partner has a fragile ego faking it is easier than trying to explain that it's not him, it's you. I haven't done this in a while though, as I'm trying to be more honest about such things.

3. In any 24 hour period, what is the most number of time you have ever had sex?

There was a weekend in college . . . probably 5 or 6. That was an amazing weekend. Yes, it was just one guy - it's incredible what a college-age guy can do when left alone with his girlfriend for days on end :)

4. Have you ever had sex or give/received oral sex while you were driving a car?

Not while I was driving, but while the other person was driving . . . Yes, I've bumped my head on a steering wheel a time or two . . .

5. What do you think the average number of sexual partners your sex has in their lifetime? Do you think most people lie when asked?

I wouldn't have the slightest idea of the average number of sexual partners for my gender. Amongst my friends the number varies from 1 to over 100. With such extremes skewing things, that mean is probably meaningless. Finding the median and the mode might be more telling than the mean.

Do people lie about their number of sexual partners? Sure, some people do. Some women minimize it, I think some men "enhance" their numbers when talking with other guys. I really don't see the point. It is what it is. I'm neither proud nor ashamed of my stats, but so long as I don't have any STDs, why should anyone care?

Bonus (as in optional): Can men and women be "just friends?" (Explain)

Absolutely. I have male friends with whom I have absolutely no interest in doing anything sexual. Then there are others . . .

Finding the Right Words

I think my bad mood as of late has to do with what is missing in my life, including, but not limited to:

Kissing, Pampering, Seduction, Flirting, Devouring, Grinding, Manipulating, Kindness, Pinching, Massaging, Petting, Extravagance, Pushing, Rocking, Submission, Caressing, Strength, Tasting, Gratification, Colliding, Groping, Pleasure, Softness, Biting, Fondling, Hedonism, Nibbling, Domination, Hardness, Desire, Brushing, Spooning, Teasing, Pressing, Spanking, Grazing, Kneading, Snuggling, Stroking, Touching, Sucking, Rubbing, Licking, Fucking, Passion, Frolicking, Embracing . . .

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Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 60% Sloth: 40% Envy: 20% Greed: 20% Wrath: 20% Gluttony: 0% Pride: 0% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 23% You'll die from overexertion. *wink*

How Sinful Are You?
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On a slightly more serious/non-horndog mode, I am in a better mood today. Less exposure to Spousehole + more exposure to exasperating but funny kids + restoration of DSL = happier Bunny.

The mammogram went fine. No big. I had no idea the girls could be squished quite that flat, but it wasn't painful at all. From check-in to walking back to the car was just over 30 minutes. With the new digital machines, they know immediately if the "films" came out, so there's no waiting around while they develop the film. If you've been putting one off because someone told you it hurt, GO GET IT DONE. It's no big. No need to flip hair even.

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Had lunch with my mom. She wanted to know how my weekend went (i.e., what did we fight about this weekend). I told her some of it and then made a joke about how once a year just isn't enough for me (she was already somewhat aware that our sex life is almost nil in the last few years). She said "OMG! Your father and I have slept in separate rooms for nearly 30 years and we're older than dirt and I get more than that!"

Great. Exactly what I needed to hear. EWWWW!

Mute Monday - Boycott

Some from the past:

No, no, no, no!:

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And definitely DO NOT BOYCOTT THIS:


I'm having my very first smash and flash (mammogram) today,
since I turned 40 last month. Wish the girls and me luck, okay?