Comments on Down the Rabbit Hole: Food Is Not A Bad Thing

"I stood by and watched a woman die."I don't think...

2008-03-31T10:37:00.000-04:00

"I stood by and watched a woman die."

I don't think so, Bunny. . .

That's the thing with people's self-destructive behavior - there really isn't anything that an 'outsider' can do, if the person herself is set on being self-destructive. And you didn't 'do nothing'; Mary just didn't respond to the things that you and her other neighbors did.

It's tragic, and heart-wrenching, but please don't think for a minute that her death is 'on you'. . .

Great post. I think us bigger girls of the world ...

2008-03-31T09:46:00.000-04:00

Great post. I think us bigger girls of the world tend to think, "God it would be so much easier if I just had the willpower to be anorexic or bulimic," and forget that it's destructive. We have a lady like that that lives...somewhere near me, although I have never seen her at any functions, don't know who her husband is, don't know where she lives, and don't know her name. She walks ALL the time. Especially during the summer she's walking for hours and hours and hours. I've passed her once or twice while out on walks with my dog and she's dangerously thin. Her hair looks like it's straw and you can see every vein in her legs. I think it was a matter of her having a baby and getting too crazy about losing baby weight, because she is often walking her two year old in a stroller while she walks. I worry when I don't see her walking for a few days though, wondering if something happened.

Thanks for the story, it's good for everyone to know about this. And you did good, trying to help, but there really is only so much you can do. If she wouldn't talk to her family, she wasn't likely to talk to her neighbors I would guess.

i also don't think that you stood by and did nothi...

2008-03-31T07:18:00.000-04:00

i also don't think that you stood by and did nothing. The urge to self-destruct is very, very strong...

I agree, Sweetie....I don't think you just 'sat by...

2008-03-31T02:22:00.000-04:00

I agree, Sweetie....I don't think you just 'sat by and did nothing'. You feel guilt, bc you think you should have done more. But I think that is uncalled for. You all did do something. Please don't harbor guilt.

I have personal experience and have dealt with this 'issue' since I was 12. It's a very tough, rough road. I hope your blog friend reads this.

*hugs*

There is no shame in this. You as a community expr...

2008-03-31T01:30:00.000-04:00

There is no shame in this. You as a community expressed concern. You left ensure on her doorstep. You could not have helped.....period. people do strange things, right wrong or indifferent.........I know we differ politically and philisophically, but while I respect the desire to do good...I also respect the leave me the hell alone. :)

i'm reading.

2008-03-30T17:13:00.000-04:00

i'm reading.

What a sad story... but I don't feel you did nothi...

2008-03-30T16:43:00.000-04:00

What a sad story... but I don't feel you did nothing as you may think... Some people, and that woman sounds like one of them, are pretty hard to get in touch with... You did what you could do... and you did it the best way you could...

Talented, compassionate, and very sweet Bunny...Ni...

2008-03-30T14:58:00.000-04:00

Talented, compassionate, and very sweet Bunny...
Nicely done....G
xox

Bunny - Everything I read says to me that you didn...

2008-03-30T11:51:00.000-04:00

Bunny - Everything I read says to me that you didn't just stand by and watch. People asked about her health, people asked her to join in, people tried giving her help anonymously. I think whatever had her (the depression or whichever it might be) had such a tight grip on her that it was causing her to use every trick she could to avoid letting anyone help her.
I know that horrible feeling of watching a death far too well. I know so well that I really couldn't stop it, and I know every day that I wish I had done something, anything to help those two people stay alive until paramedics arrived.

I hope your bloggy friend is reading.

2008-03-30T11:49:00.001-04:00

I hope your bloggy friend is reading.

A very moving post, and a nice reminder that in so...

2008-03-30T11:49:00.000-04:00

A very moving post, and a nice reminder that in some instances, we are indeed our brother's keepers- or, we should be at times.

Thank you.

We have or are becoming an insensitive world. Inse...

2008-03-30T11:34:00.000-04:00

We have or are becoming an insensitive world. Insensitive to the needs of those around us, even the needs of family members.

This was a horrible yet touching post. Bunny, but I am sure it is one that is repeated thousands of times a day whether it be anorexia, drugs, abuse ... we live in sad times.

Wow Bunny, VERY powerful and a great lesson learne...

2008-03-30T11:24:00.000-04:00

Wow Bunny, VERY powerful and a great lesson learned. As a former ER nurse I saw people die all the time, but there was a certain detachment to it. I cared deeply for my patients, but in the end, they were still strangers and I had to learn to let it go at the end of the night or I'd never make it.
Seeing it happen to someone you know is worse and I know you feel like you did nothing, but you did do something.
You gave her Ensure, you opened the door for her to talk about it, you did all you could short of busting in the door and force feeding her BBQ from your parties.
In the end, if it's a small silver lining, your story has given me the push I need to say something. A friend of mine is heading the other way from Mary. "Sue" has gotten so heavy I KNOW it's affecting her health and every time I see her she seems bigger and it scares me. I've kept from saying anything because A> I know she's sensitive to it and B> having gone through a slow but successful weight loss myself, I don't want to be the pushy thinner person. But no more. If I love Sue as I say I do, then I have to say something. She doesn't have to be thin, but she needs to be healthy and if I don't say something then... well, we won't find out because I'm going to say somehting so that a slow ride to the worst isn't an option anymore.
Hang in there Bunny! You did what you could and I feel like Mary would know that.

A wonderful and powerful post. Thank you.

2008-03-30T11:14:00.000-04:00

A wonderful and powerful post. Thank you.